What have I got myself into??

[Bonbon34]

I met someone on hinge just under a week ago and we had our second date today. Our first date went well and I really liked him . He was honest about him being out of work currently and he also can’t drive due to multiple speeding offences. He’s had a colourful past but said he’s turned a new leaf , wants a family etc.

i thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt but today he’s basically said he wants to get me pregnant. I thought he was initially joking but he’s not - he said he’s ready in this stage of his life and if it happens it happens. He says how amazing I am and that I’m the perfect ‘candidate’ and that it just feels right with me.

am I being crazy or is this madness? I came out a controlling and abusive relationship so I’m thinking maybe I’m overthinking it? But it doesn’t make sense to me.

Exactly

The only good thing is that he's been open about all this nonsense

Block. Now.

Hmmmm, what a catch he sounds (I'm joking). I'm assuming that you've blocked him and ran like hell in the opposite direction! The guy sounds unhinged.

Like a terrible movie plot - get out of there asap.

It doesn’t make sense to you because it doesn’t make sense. Perhaps you are a bit flattered and that is what’s confusing you? I would echo what several people have said about your boundaries.

You haven’t got yourself into anything at all. He is nothing to you but a rando that has identified himself as a complete no hoper early on. There is no way you should be contemplating this.

Mummy mummy tell be about how you and daddy met! Well on week two darling he said he wanted to get me pregnant and he was such a prince in spite of him not being able to contribute or provide that I went all in.

One week and he’s wanting to get you pregnant?
Dear god, doesn’t this seem somewhat strange to you?
ffs run.

are there really women who think it's worth actually listening to someone like that?

Yes, sadly, because some women find they are getting older, do not have a partner, and have never had a partner, who wants to commit to a future life with a family together - their partners have just want convenient sex and actually rather despise them.

So when someone comes along like this man (creep) and says he has chosen her, and only her, to have his child, he seems to be a Prince among men, and she is loved and respected at last.

It is all a con. Beware!

No, it’s perfectly normal behaviour for a relative stranger with a colourful past to want to get you pregnant and be a supportive husband. Happens anlmost every other day to me.

@Bonbon34 If you didn't get support after your last abusive relationship, please get some help now. It is worth doing the work to make sure you don't end up in another abusive relationship. Please put yourself first and don't see this man again.

It's madness. Run!

Are you sure you met him on hinged and not unhinged?? (him, not you!)

Definitely please don't see him again.

that I’m the perfect ‘candidate’

Well, being unemployed, having lost his driving license (or had it suspended or whatever) and having had a colourful past .....

He is most definitely not the perfect candidate.

You also don't know him from Adam.

He apparently doesn't see any of that as an obstacle to you getting into a relationship with him and instantly risking pregnancy. Which means he's fucking bonkers .... Which you kind of already could guess from his past (and present).

Does he perhaps need accommodation ..... Is that why he's so keen to lock down and knock up "the perfect candidate"?

No-one falls in love as quickly as a man looking for somewhere to live.

Treat yourself with the dignity you deserve. Block this man. Find a different way of meeting nice men with jobs, focus on a reliable man you can love and who loves you. Then get married and then have a baby. In that order. Otherwise you will be stuck in poverty and you will be connected to this loser for the rest of your life. He is not boyfriend, husband or father material.

I want you to have my childline

I once had it delivered in Southern States of the US accented West African English (he had been in the US til he got chucked out) as;

"I wanna have a baby with yo ass".

Terribly romantic.

That was about two months into a casual dating situation.

I was so shocked I was literally dumb founded in response. I think he correctly interpreted that as not encouraging, especially when I did not respond positively to a further reference to it. He moved on.

It was a mystery to me, until I discovered some years later the it was a common strategy among some WA men to try to gain UK residence ("I have a child in the UK who is being derived of my glorious presence").

This guy is after something too. He wants you trapped. He wants you tied to him, very early, for some reason.

And like my exotic ex, he thinks all women go goo goo ga ga at the thought of having a baby and that they'll automatically be overcome with gratitude and excitement towards a man who's willing to have one with them. And we're too dumb, desperate and our standards are too low to notice what he's (not) bringing to the table.

I wonder how many other women he’s tried to do this with.

🤢

I'm just joking, I mean this is so obviously bonkers I didn't think anyone would buy it.

This. If you even have to think twice about this man, you need to get your red flag detector checked.

Sounds like a nutcase. Wants a baby with someone he's known for less than a week?

Yes it does… can’t help thinking your bar is really low and in 6 months time you’ll be pregnant and looking for ways to leave an abusive relationship…..

Just run- very fast!

What does this tell you about how he views women? He basically feels he already know all he needs to know about you.

Have you been long out of the controlling relationship? Might some (more) time being single be an idea?

He's unhinged. Run