Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What have I got myself into??

122 replies

Bonbon34 · 07/05/2024 22:43

I met someone on hinge just under a week ago and we had our second date today. Our first date went well and I really liked him . He was honest about him being out of work currently and he also can’t drive due to multiple speeding offences. He’s had a colourful past but said he’s turned a new leaf , wants a family etc.

i thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt but today he’s basically said he wants to get me pregnant. I thought he was initially joking but he’s not - he said he’s ready in this stage of his life and if it happens it happens. He says how amazing I am and that I’m the perfect ‘candidate’ and that it just feels right with me.

am I being crazy or is this madness? I came out a controlling and abusive relationship so I’m thinking maybe I’m overthinking it? But it doesn’t make sense to me.

OP posts:
BananaLambo · 08/05/2024 01:31
continuous path GIF by Dan Harnden

There are the hills. Off you go. Wear your best running shoes and don’t stop if your lace gets a bit loose.

AccountCreateUsername · 08/05/2024 01:33

Telemakus · 08/05/2024 01:23

The fact he's willing to have unprotected sex two weeks into a relationship shows an open and trusting nature that OP will not likely find in another man.

Show quote history

😂 if only that were true, his ilk are ten a penny sadly.

OP needs to find a way of weeding men like him out much earlier on. OP this man is creepy and a loser. Believe that you can do better and ditch this man asap please

Diycheater · 08/05/2024 01:36

After he’s got you pregnant he’ll move in with you to scrounge off you and bully you. You shouldn’t have met up with him a second time.

pinkyredrose · 08/05/2024 01:36

On the bright side at least he's shown you early on what a twat he is.

dontcryformeargentina · 08/05/2024 01:48

cordeliachaseatemyhandbag · 07/05/2024 22:47

He wants a cum mummy

I'd like to know what it means too

HeyDudeDontLeanOnMeMan · 08/05/2024 01:48

Roundandroundthegard3n · 07/05/2024 22:51

This might sound harsh but the fact you even need to ask this means your boundaries are so far out of whack you probably shouldn't be dating at all.

This - why are you even still giving him room in your head?!!!!

Southern68 · 08/05/2024 01:49

You really have to ask, a complete stranger wants you to have unprotected sex with you with all the risks that brings, but wants you to have his child too.

What a keeper..........NOT.
Oh and you think you know everything but he'll have saved the juicy stuff to tell you, after you'd got pregnant.
Block block block and don't look back.

WiseKhakiGoose · 08/05/2024 02:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

"all he wants is sex without a condom and a captured woman." - I agree with you 👏👏👏👏👍👍👍👍

OP, he is an abusive man who don't even try to cover it up, from the start.

Begsthequestion · 08/05/2024 02:16

That would be a horrible thing to do to a child

Thevelvelletes · 08/05/2024 02:21

100% mentalist...block at the speed of light.

CatHerderSupreme · 08/05/2024 02:30

Babybreath · 07/05/2024 23:05

I was going to say exactly this. Get yourself into counselling to help you establish why you are questioning yourself and to help you set firm boundaries, you are at risk of ending up in another abusive relationship.

Show quote history

Agree with this. If you can’t see he’s a waste of space you have a problem. He may as well have a rock choir following him round chanting “He’s a loser! Yes he is!”.

I think you should work on your boundaries so you don’t end up in another bad relationship.

KomodoOhno · 08/05/2024 03:13

Wow how blessed you are to be worthy being a "candidate". Block and Run.

andfinallyhereweare · 08/05/2024 03:14

Just block. Ain’t no body got time for this.

DBSFstupid · 08/05/2024 03:22

Another one interested to know what 'cum mummy' means?!

WhereIsSpringtime · 08/05/2024 03:36

Run. V v fast.

OriginalFloorboards · 08/05/2024 03:39

Get your trainers on and run.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 08/05/2024 03:52

OP you need to get a grip on yourself!

Why on Earth would you give him the benefit of the doubt?

Speeding offences - yeah right. Drink driving and no insurance more like

Colourful past - multiple run ins with the law, probable violence

Unemployed - lazy and unemployable

Wants to get you pregnant - wants unprotected sex

Why are you dating specimens at the bottom of the food chain? What appeals to you about this person that would possess you to even go on a second date?

You need to heave your standards up and out of the gutter.

Justcoincidences · 08/05/2024 04:09

Bet he’s had a vasectomy, so will have loads of unprotected sex with you to create that baby.

Snailandwhale2024 · 08/05/2024 04:22

Run!!!

Zoflorabore · 08/05/2024 04:46

This happened to me but he had a good job, home and could drive. Were seeing each other for a few weeks and he said something along the lines of “ would it be such a bad thing if you got pregnant?!” I nearly choked. Not only was it ridiculous but we already had 2 dc each and were in our early forties.

we didn’t last much longer than that. I really really liked him but that was just too much.

edited to add he had no “colourful past” either. That would put me off instantly and I’m surprised you went on a second date with this catch.

BigMandyHarris · 08/05/2024 04:54

You haven’t got yourself into anything.
It’s been a week and 2 dates.

Your next decision is crucial

ByUmberViewer · 08/05/2024 05:10

I don't think there is anything wrong with your boundaries OP, which is why you are able to recognise that this man doesn't seem genuine.

Does having a colourful past mean he's been in prison?

Bululu · 08/05/2024 06:46

Omg run, run, run and keep running.

Ifyoucouldreadmymindlove · 08/05/2024 06:48

Itsnamechange · 07/05/2024 22:57

The fact that you really liked him and wanted to see him again in spite of finding out he’s unemployed and banned from driving suggests you need to raise your bar significantly.

My god. This.

Run. Please, for the love of fuck, run.

Pluviophile1 · 08/05/2024 06:55

Huge red flags. Do not reply, block his number, never speak to him again.