Adultwork, i need as much information as possible

[NavySloth]

Hello,

i will try to cut this story short. I recently found my husband activity with adultwork. I was able to login and acces emails saying about lasts logins and also his username for the website. Its came as a complete shock. After more digging i found out about more of the website. Later on when i confronted him about this, he was just lying to my face as never happened, total denial. I have some screenshots of things i found, i was also able to login to the app. If anyone know more then me please let me know. I found 2 bookings with escorts, just really wanna know if these booking were actually went ahead because he said he did not meet them. I also saw a hot list, there were many girls but i also saw saying’’recently interacted with’’ what does it mean? I do beleive he deleted maybe some of his bookings before handed the phone to me but i also know by others, many people making bookings by phone calls. Any information would be much appreciated.
and sorry for any misspelling English isn’t my first language. Thank you for the answers in advance.

Credits cannot be used for bookings. They are used to buy movies, photos (called "Private gallery") or for live webcam calls/sessions.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk in more detail.

Thank you, I messaged you:)

He messaged her at 8.42 am looking to pay 100 pounds for a 1 hour meeting at 1pm, she didn't see the message until that evening, so the meeting didn't happen. The credits are used to view pictures in the ladies galleries. It didn't take place but it could have done had she read the message in time

This is so disgusting OP. I am so sorry.
Please say that this is the end of your relationship and that you have kicked him out.

This. Looks like this one didn’t happen as she didn’t read it in time but that’s not really the point. He wanted it to happen

Just going on it and booking would be enough for me to end it. Whether he went or not doesn’t matter (other than for your own health, of course). He’d be history to me.

I’m so sorry OP. Whether he saw them or not, he made the booking and in my view that would be enough to end the relationship over. Sending you strength x

Get rid of him. There's no sugar coating it babe as heartbreaking as it is xx You literally have it right there in b black and white. I can assure you the confirmed bookings on the site went ahead 100 million billion %.
I'm sorry xx They're all filthy oxygen thieves men are & we need to look out for each other us ladies!!Xx
Silly thing to say but i really do Hope you're OK xx

Not necessary that they went ahead, if he has feedback, read it and will confirm it went ahead or not.

Firstly I think it's possible for partners to be compatible almost 100%, but in one or two areas to have different needs/values. Sex can be one of those areas. There will similarly be women who need a whole lot more between the sheets than their man has to offer. How does one deal with this? Talk about it maturely and possibly find out there's no way to resolve the difference in needs, and then potentially open a rift in an otherwise great relationship? Or go away and try to satisfy your needs with a professional service provider, so you can carry on your life without frustration and resentment?

Secondly, it's possible to fantasise about such liaisons and find that it is enough to satisfy your needs. We're all different, and sometimes just window shopping is enough.

Finally, don't demonise all men in this regard. There's another Adultwork related thread that refers to "pathetic male human beings". That's not helpful at all. If you don't try to understand the issue deeply from all sides, you might as well not comment.

The adult services profession (the oldest in tne world, so it's said) is a two sided affair, and I reckon many women are making a good living out of their work. There is also the issue of trafficked women being held against their will to make money for others: a lot needs to be done to interrupt this heinous business.

One last thing, the vast majority of Adultwork women do not offer bareback sex, only protected, so the STI risk is much reduced.

I'm happy to read any thoughts on my post (relationship experts will probably shoot me down in flames), but please do realise it's not necessarily a black and white issue. Maybe realising this will even help heal the wounds that discoveries like this can open.

@Oneofthosemanthings

The adult services profession (the oldest in tne world, so it's said) is a two sided affair, and I reckon many women are making a good living out of their work. There is also the issue of trafficked women being held against their will to make money for others: a lot needs to be done to interrupt this heinous business.

They key question is, how can a man truly know if the sex worker he is paying for sex is making a good living out of her work and doing it completely happily, or if she is trafficked / abused / coerced?

There is absolutely no way for him to be certain.

Which means that any man who pays for sex is doing so with the knowledge there's a chance he is contributing to a woman being raped and abused.

Good, decent men wouldn't take that risk.

@Oneofthosemanthings having worked with lots of women who sell/have sold sex I can absolutely tell you it's nothing like that for the vast majority. Even those who believe they are on an equal footing and only do online not contact often end up with emotional and psychological difficulties after a while. If you'd seen a fraction of the harm I've seen caused by women being sexually exploited you wouldn't be making glib jokes about the oldest profession in the world.
Consent cannot be purchased.

@MyOtherCarisaVauxhallZafira it wasn't meant as a glib joke, I was trying to give validity to the women to do this work by choice, and who do it happily and with full consent. I accept that there are too many women (one is too many) who are exploited in the sex industry. They are two very different circumstances, and two very different discussions.
@alldayeveryday247 I do take your point. I would say there are some indicators that could help to decide if a woman is independent and fully consenting or not but, yes, impossible to be certain.

@Oneofthosemanthings

I do take your point. I would say there are some indicators that could help to decide if a woman is independent and fully consenting or not but, yes, impossible to be certain.

Exactly. So a man who pays for sex is knowingly running the risk he is paying to rape someone.

Do you think any decent man takes that risk?

@alldayeveryday247 Of course, the answer to that has to be no. So how to we enable consenting sex workers to make an honest living in the way that they choose? The fault surely lies with enforcement of trafficking laws, and Adultwork themselves must take responsibility for illegal and immoral activity on their site. I have listened to contributors on Woman's Hour who object to the well meaning interference of people trying to 'protect' them, when they are simply exercising their right to work.
Like so many important issues, there's no simple solution.

JFC the OP is married and was pregnant at the time of one of these bookings.

As it happens I do think prostitution is inherently exploitative and men who buy sex are scum, but that's not really the point here, is it?

The point is that the OP's husband has potentially cheated on her with several prostitutes, over a number of years, including whilst she was carrying his baby.

She'd be absolutely mad to stay with him. Talk it through, my arse. Their solicitors can talk it through.

You've musunderstood me. "Talk it through" was meant in general terms and as in, differences in sexual needs within relationships. It wasn't a suggestion for the original poster here.

Well then perhaps you should start a thread about how women should be more open to talking through their husbands' "needs" to pay for sex then, and see how that goes.

You are following the naive and deluded "logic" of the sort of people who say that polygamy would end cheating.

Polygamy wouldn't end cheating because cheaters don't want polygamy. Male cheaters want polygyny, not polygamy. Big difference.

Maturely and rationally discussing the fact that your partner doesn't satisfy your sexual desires and you'd like to satisfy them with other people would not happen in the majority of cases because that would result in a. The end of the relationship, or b. In the case of men, that their wife was no longer faithful either.

Cheating men don't want that. They don't want their relationships to end, they want all the advantages of them. And they don't want their wife/partner to be taking other men's dicks.

That's why they cheat, with sex workers and non sex workers behind their backs. They know the relationship probably wouldn't persist and they really really don't want their partner having the same opportunities to fuck other people. They don't want sexual equality in a relationship, that's the very opposite of what they want.

The few exceptions to this are swingers or polygamous etc. They are not using sex workers behind their partner's back.

And even swingers and polygamists have many many issues as well.

But....forget about rational, honest, "equal" convos and agreed polygamy.

It doesn't happen because those men DON'T WANT THAT.

And I'm amazed at the naivety that would make someone think they do.

Then there's the std issue.

Half the people on MN and all the people who like to think prostitution is a pile of empowered, happy hookers who choose it freely with no mitigating favours ..... Believe that prostitutes (working in the Dorchester for ££££) use condoms for all sexual encounters and get checked for STDs every day in a Harley Street Clinic.

UK punting reviews tell a slightly different story however. They depict the Asda & Morrisons end of the business, rather than the Harrods food hall end: where almost exclusively foreign immigrant women work in rooms in flats and the punters regularly complain about them keeping them waiting, because of the "punt" before them.

So explain to me how they're getting checked for STDs, some of which circumvent condoms, in the back to back turnaround between punters? They'd might have passed it on before they even got their next check.

It's also obvious that it's not common for them to use condoms for oral sex. Described as OWO (oral without); which is mentioned in a huge percentage of reviews.
And there's a risk for STDs from that too.
(Not even getting onto the fact that a percentage of punters like to do "reverse oral" (oral sex on the prostitute) as well).

That's not even getting onto bi and trans prostitutes. The reviews of them are rather enlightening.

But, women (including those having babies with men, and therefore not using contraception) are supposed to agree open relationships and prostitute use with their partners. Thus risking STDs that could affect their health, and if pregnant, that could cause miscarriages, still births and fetal abnormalities.

And are these men going to accept open relationships in which their wife/partner might get impregnated by another man?

Or do these couples wait til their family is complete (which for some people spans quite a while) before they have these sensible, honest discussions about open relationships??

But none of that matters anyway, because I guarantee you wouldn't get one man in a hundred who'd accept his wife/partner fucking other men (even for him to get fucking other women). Cheating men prefer to keep it on the down low. They get to keep their wife, and keep her faithful, and have their time-outs as and when it suits them. That's what cheating and prostitute use is about, there are no open honest conversations and arrangements; because they don't want them.

All I will say is on both sides of the sex industry, service providers and punters, there is a range of circumstances and behaviours, from being as responsible as possible to reckless, from consenting independent to trafficked and coerced, from lonely or frustrated to morally bankrupt, and from Dorchester to Asda/Morrisons plus many other ranges of factors. I won't be trying to apply one judgement or argument across the whole subject.

I accept that men are more likely to be guilty of behaviour that's questionable at best, but they don't have a monopoly on this by any stretch of the imagination. Eg, the Adultwork service provider who's profile says her husband is uninterested in sex, and has no idea she does this for fun and extra cash when he's away.

Stop torturing yourself about the minutae of booking/seeing a prossie through Adult Work.
He's seeing them, paying them, probably will never ever admit to it.
Tell him to fuck right off. In no uncertain terms.

Eg, the Adultwork service provider who's profile says her husband is uninterested in sex, and has no idea she does this for fun and extra cash when he's away.

That’s what’s called marketing. You are seriously deluded if you think it’s a true story.

Haha, I knew someone would reply with that, like you know it for a fact and I'm stoopid. Well, think again.

LOL. Sorry to burst your bubble, but sex workers will tell you practically any story to get you to spend your money. It’s fascinating how many men actually believe what they’re told 😂