Will the police protect my child?

[MadameDeLaRue]

(I have a separate thread on a related issue, but I want to focus on this specific topic)

My 7 year old has told me that her father has been strangling her often, for short periods, when angry. There is a history of coercive control against me.

Police are coming later to discuss.

Are they likely to do anything to protect my child? What can I expect in this meeting?

Why haven't you stopped contact?

@VelvetTurtle I just found out that he's doing it, when she came back from seeing him. I won't be allowing further contact.

i think they will be baffled that you sent her off with him over the weekend despite having reported him to SS before the weekend

you had already reported him to the school who made a SS referral before the latest incident over the weekend when she was with him

@loverofalmonds I can't undo what has been done. He assured me that he would change the concerning behaviour, and social services apparently didn't think the concern was so great that immediate intervention was needed.

I am aware that the family court system is stacked against mums, and he will exploit every advantage he can. You don't understand how devious he is.

Wow, that's dreadful. I wouldn't care what social services said or didn't say. My child wouldn't be going again, until it had been fully investigated etc etc.
As a mother you have PR, you are 100% with in your right (and should) do everything you can to protect your child. Just because you maybe don't meet social services threshold or what ever. Does not mean that the child has to go, you refuse and if his dad insists he will just have to take you to court.
Do you have any proof of this happening? Are you keeping a diary recording all your concerns? It's certainly something that helped in my case, along with other evidence there is a no contact order in place. This is a civil no contact order (so not from social services) even though they were involved. But it means the same thing and the kids are now safe.

My exH was like this. I had to protect DS myself because nobody else would. And go to court numerous times before I got sole custody.

OP I really fear for your daughter. She has a Dad who's been strangling her and Social Services who are inept or overstretched enough to believe this -

social services apparently didn't think the concern was so great that immediate intervention was needed

You should read up as to what is the main cause of death for female domestic violence victims - it's strangling. Glad you're having the police over.

Exactly same here.

Stopping the contact immediately now negates the physical risk. Don't let your DD near him every again, regardless of what SS or anyone else might say. And now the immediate danger is no longer a risk..start to consider and repair the psychological damage to your dd. That's your primary focus now. Keeping her psychologically safe too. This kind of trauma can and possibly will have long lasting effects.

Just to clarify, SS was not that worried about other conduct.

No one seems that interested in the recent disclosure (yet). Still waiting for the police to attend.

I am now led by my solicitor, but my child's safety is my first priority.

@Cheefah wtaf? Why would I think my child is lying about this?

How do you know this?

What??

Really appreciate the replies so far, though I am sorry so many have had to pursue justice without much support from the agencies who are meant to ensure just outcomes.

Hope we have better luck.

Do you know the op?

@Overthebow I have a terrible paranoia that this is my ex...or his new wife. But I don't think I have posted any real identifying information and who knows, maybe I have altered some details to ensure anonymity.

I'm starting to think that there are genuinely a bunch of abusive men who go on here to gaslight women and mess with our heads.

Every time I read a post describing indefensible behavour there will be someone who comes along to say words to the effect of "well you must have done sonething to make him lock you out of the house for 3 hours" or similar.

Who the fuck would accuse the OPs kid of lying??? Or try to make OP feel crap for not letting DD see her dad? Why do these people even come onto relationship boards?

On another note @MadameDeLaRue

Please make sure you tell the police that there was another adult there (new wife) who didn’t protect your child. Despicable!!

@Pablothepalm I think he saves this behaviour for when no one is looking. He's too smart to let anyone who might be believed knowing what he is.

@MadameDeLaRue Will your daughter tell the police what her dad has done to her?

@AbFabDaaaaahling I actually think she will. I think she is tired of being bullied and mistreated. But that is just my instinct 🤷‍♀️