Going out of my mind.

[CLH23]

Been seeing a guy for almost a year. I really like him. He's very high up in work, so always had a busy schedule. So whilst I say 'seeing' it hasn't been normal. But I was fine with this, we'd had conversations about how we were loyal to each other etc. anyway, he's obviously got a few issues (admitted this anyway) but everytime life gets hard he's told me we need to stop talking. Absolutely driven me insane especially when there's feelings. But very quickly he's come back saying 'night' and it starts again. Anyway, gone cold again told me we need to stop talking and for the first time ever he's not even read my last message. It's been 2 days, my anxiety is through the roof and I hate this feeling!!!! I sound desperate and appreciate he's not the kind of guy that's good for the future. But what I need to know right now is, do you think I'll hear from him again?!!! Things were intense before.

I'd end it.

Or just block him. You know this isn't the makings of a good relationship, so you need to make it stop for your own sanity.

Ypu shouldn't be worrying about whether you'll hear from him again. You should be angry that he is making you feel like this with his behaviour.

Someone can only treat you how you allow them to.

... but technically he's ended it. And he's not talking to me. I'm in that desperate stage of, I just want to hear from him and know he's thinking about me. I mean he may not careless anymore. Who knows. But do you think he'll message?

No one here can know. But it sounds like it would be far far better if you just carried on with your life and find other things to focus on.

Does it matter if he does?

You're in a vicious cycle of him using you for his convenience.

Block him and move on. I'd not be surprised if his high level job was a wife and kids.

He has kids, but divorced. Has his own place.

Also I used to work for the company he now runs so have friends who work with him.

Yeah probably. When he wants sex or attention again. And as you'll give it, he will drop you again in a few weeks and off the cycle will go again.

your boundaries are pretty non-existent with him, he has zero reason to be have differently. Right now you should be furious you've wasted your time on someone so utterly disrespectful of you and blocking him, and vowing to never talk to the head fuck time waster again.

I really really hope you do the latter part of my message, but I suspect you'll do the first, and youll be back here again in a couple of weeks.

It's not a real relationship. I'd move on before he wastes even more of your time. A year is too long. He's living at least a double life. A high stress job is a common smoke screen, what a cliché. Even if the only commitment he does have is to his job, why do you think you only deserve this shit situationship scrabbling around for any breadcrumbs he throws your way? It's so degrading.

You sound like this guys puppet! Where’s your pride…if someone said to me ‘stop talking’ we’d stop talking alright- immediately and for good! I would never ever accept or put up with this behaviour from anyone. You deserve so much better.

Ffs, get some self-worth and block him.

He is playing with you, this isn't a relationship its a FWB but on his terms only.

He chucks you some breadcrumbs every now and again and you lap it up...

The treatment he's giving you sadly shows he doesn't respect you. Let alone cherish or deeply love you.

This means you are the one who has to respect yourself.

Find the words...how dare he...who the fuck do you think you are mate...get bloody stuffed...don't you DARE contact me again...whatever your brand of outrage you can feel.

It's shit I know. The feeling to hold on to is down the line when you can look at it objectively and know you held the line against being mentally abused. Because this stuff doesn't get better.

He sounds to me like a guy with a lot of stress who has to bunker down when things are too overwhelming. He doesn’t have the energy to give to work and to give to you at the same time. I also function this way so I would just give him his space and wait for him to reemerge. And look at long term stress solutions

He’s emotionally unavailable and this will never get better. Afyer a year you aren’t even in an official relationship, this is going nowhere. Finish it and move on.

This is truly terrible advice. Are you a man?

Stop letting him yank your chain!! Take control, tell him this behaviour is not acceptable, it's cruel and disrespectful and if it happens again you're calling it a day.

Take back some control!
Stop being a wet lettuce.
Block him.
He’s playing with you.

The fact you accept this shitty treatment is a sign you need to stay away from relationships until you work on yourself.
He’s treating you like you are worthless, an afterthought, and you STILL want him.
Break the cycle.

With respect, how can anyone on here possibly tell you if they think he'll message? The only person who can answer that is him. This isn't just someone that isn't good for the future. He also isn't good for the present - look at the effect it's having on your sanity already. Come on, you know you deserve better. You're giving way too much power away here by playing his game waiting desperately for a bread crumb. Take back that power and choose to end it yourself by blocking him and moving on. You're worth more than this.

Worst advice ever from @Happyinarcon
Encouraging co-dependency . Either a man or a surrendered wife .
A busy but kind man would be transparent and thoughtful .
Yes , he’ll poss be back in touch . When he’s finished entertaining his other current interests .
Maybe decide what you want from a relationship - and then decide if he is the right one to meet your lifestyle choices .
how old are you both op ?

I think he'll be back in touch when he wants to.. and it's up to you how high you jump. I think you should stop jumping and walk away and close this off. You deserve better.

Thank you for all the replies and advice.

How can someone just switch it off so quickly? Is this emotional abuse?

It just seems really cruel to be there one minute, know I've been feeling really bad about the situation and down and now I'm being completely
Ignored 😫

He will be in touch my love, you know and I know from experience that they always come back.

I won't go into the details on here because it's long winded and I can't cope with the 'just bin him off' brigade - if I could do that whilst keeping my sanity I would - so if you want to DM me and analyse it then my 'door' is always open! You'll get tea and sympathy from me though and not advice!

But, he will come back!

He's married

Or just a twat

Either way , get rid .

Yeah, even if he's not with his ex wife it sounds as though he's in a relationship.

And I don't normally jump to that sort of conclusion.