Going out of my mind.

[CLH23]

Been seeing a guy for almost a year. I really like him. He's very high up in work, so always had a busy schedule. So whilst I say 'seeing' it hasn't been normal. But I was fine with this, we'd had conversations about how we were loyal to each other etc. anyway, he's obviously got a few issues (admitted this anyway) but everytime life gets hard he's told me we need to stop talking. Absolutely driven me insane especially when there's feelings. But very quickly he's come back saying 'night' and it starts again. Anyway, gone cold again told me we need to stop talking and for the first time ever he's not even read my last message. It's been 2 days, my anxiety is through the roof and I hate this feeling!!!! I sound desperate and appreciate he's not the kind of guy that's good for the future. But what I need to know right now is, do you think I'll hear from him again?!!! Things were intense before.

I really really don't think he is.

I really think you need to look at why you like someone so much who plays hot and cold and leaves you feeling so bad.

Yes of course this is emotionally abusive. He's got you to the point where you're desperate to hear from him and he's blanking you. He knows when he deigns to get back in touch with you that you'll feel grateful - can you hear how tragic that sounds? You'll be grateful that he is bothering to give you the time of day.

You are not a toy to be picked up and put down on his whims. You're craving the intensity and it's really unhealthy and dysfunctional. It's only been a year, please don't let this drag on and on. You can stop the anxiety now, obviously it's the only healthy choice - take the power back and choose to not hear from him again.

He clearly doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. He can’t or won’t give you what you need. Move on.

Because he's never really switched on. He doesn't really care. It's not emotional abuse because he isn't actively trying to make you think he cares and then pulling all sorts of tricks and mind games. He is showing you he doesn't care- doesn't really give a fuck. So take that as what it is and show yourself and others that you are worth more.

The thing is he's been so switched on before it's been intense between us. A few weeks ago he said we needed to stop messaging, then said 'night' and admitted he couldn't stop. Since then, yes I have put on pressure because I've been so frustrated and wanted answers/more. This has now resulted in him again saying we need to stop. It's just hard when he's been there to talk to everyday and this is the first time he's never even read a message.

Is this an actual real life relationship or is it online and texting only?

@CLH23 Stop allowing yourself to be used. The ‘intensity’ is when it suits him and he has nothing more to offer. It cannot develop so it stayed at the same level with you - with lots of restrictions determined by him - and it won’t ever become the satisfying loving relationship you no doubt wish for.

He doesn’t really care about you, you have served a purpose, the intensity that he delivered previously was all about him expressing something on his terms.

Text him one last time to say, I agree this is over now. Good luck for the future. Then block.

Sounds like you are convenient for him when he has time for you. He doesnt make time for you. Id stop wasting your time.

I last saw him a couple of weeks ago as he's been away with work (either works local or overseas).

If I wanted him to show interest what do I need to do? Just not contact at all and leave this. Let him come back (if he wants too). Yes I'm sounding pathetic but I'm stuck at the moment in that mindset.

Yes he will push you away and then pull you back in. Stop it now before you get really attached and can't stop. He will ruin you. His bad news op just block him

Gently, OP, please get some counseling. This is not a healthy relationship and you need to figure out why you are so emotionally attached to a man who obviously doesn't give a shit about you.

As to your question, if you don't block him and move on, he will contact you when he wants another shag. And then afterward, he will ghost you again. You are worth more than this, OP. Please find out why you don't think that you are.

This nails it ^.

Sorry OP but you need to develop some self-respect.

Block, flush, delete from your life - and do it now.

... also the man who said he should stand in my way if someone asked me to go for a drink.

You're a fuck buddy. Nothing more.

OP, as long as you carry on accepting dregs, dregs is all you'll get.

100% a man.

Hang on didn't you just say he can't colpe with stress and to wait for hi🤔🤔🤔

He's not a keeper. Please don't contact him and, if he contacts you, be wary, put on your armour. It might be best to block him, frankly.

You'll get over this, better things are ahead.

Game-playing bellend

... that's just it. Is he playing games with me and knows what he's doing? (With a bit of being emotionally unavailable - and doesn't want to commit, hence he freaks out when I switch and push for answers)

It doesn’t really matter why he’s behaving like an arsehole does it? He is clearly showing you what to expect, and in the very early days. You have wasted today ( and longer) on trying to make sense of it. You could have used your time to enjoy yourself, or at least try to.

He is an arsehole, he’s testing you really badly. It can only get worse. Give your head a shake, block him and distract yourself for the rest of today anyway. Fake it til you make it!