Going out of my mind.

[CLH23]

Been seeing a guy for almost a year. I really like him. He's very high up in work, so always had a busy schedule. So whilst I say 'seeing' it hasn't been normal. But I was fine with this, we'd had conversations about how we were loyal to each other etc. anyway, he's obviously got a few issues (admitted this anyway) but everytime life gets hard he's told me we need to stop talking. Absolutely driven me insane especially when there's feelings. But very quickly he's come back saying 'night' and it starts again. Anyway, gone cold again told me we need to stop talking and for the first time ever he's not even read my last message. It's been 2 days, my anxiety is through the roof and I hate this feeling!!!! I sound desperate and appreciate he's not the kind of guy that's good for the future. But what I need to know right now is, do you think I'll hear from him again?!!! Things were intense before.

It doesn’t really matter why he’s behaving the way he is. You don’t need an explanation you just need to realise you deserve better and cut him out of your life.

Married, living with someone or other women on the go.

.... still not read it. So annoying I'm consumed by this today!!!!!

You really need to block this guy. He's a head fuck and a waste of time.

And whilst you are wasting time on him pissing you about you aren't getting to meet someone decent, who does want a relationship and who doesn't play games.

BLOCK HIM NOW.

Stop being consumed by it. Only you can do it. Block him and force yourself to do something else. It won’t be easy necessarily, but it’s a start.

Jesus wept, I rarely come back a second time.

Most posters are telling you he doesn't give a fuck, get some self respect, etc. But you're here asking how to get him interested then.

What would you tell a friend in this situation?

You are not reading the room. He gives no fucks about you, at all. He doesn't see you as relationship material. By throwing out crumbs of "I should stand between you and drinks with another guy" indicates very well he knows how to manipulate you.

Just block and start to move on. Once you do, he'll more than likely emerge from under his mouldy rock. That's when you tell him to fuck the fuck off, and when he gets there, fuck off some more.

Definitely this. Sorry @CLH23 💐

The thing is, there won't ever be anything serious between you because, from his point of view, you aren't worth it. He knows he can pick you up and drop you whenever he feels like it. He doesn't need to put in any effort to earn you because you need him more. He doesn't need to treat you better because you have shown him you are fine with being treated like shit. And if you don't value yourself, he isn't going to either. So he can easily ignore you because you don't matter.

If I wanted him to show interest what do I need to do? Just not contact at all and leave this.

Sorry to state the obvious, you don't need to do anything, he's the one who needs to do something!

this is unhealthy, he doesn't care about you that's clear from what you've described. Take back control and move on, otherwise you'll waste time and emotion on someone who is probably already dating someone else.

He doesn't care about you. He never did. Sitting and waiting for him to contact you is pathetic behavior. You need to work out why you're so desperately attracted to this man that doesn't give a crap and gain some self respect.

@BeenThere101 gove good advice from a perspective of someone who has lived it. I have too. It is very hard to break away but it really is the only option. Save yourself -you can’t save him.

In the case of mine, I actually posted his details on the FB group ‘Are we dating the same guy’ - only enough to ring warning bells for anyone who actually knew him /no name /photo etc. I posted anonymously and with comments switched off because I didn’t want to know if anyone else encountered him or have a dialogue about him, just hoped it might save someone else months of anguish like yours.

... why hasn't he just blocked me though? You'd think he'd match his shitty behaviour and just block me on watsapp.

Because if he blocks you, you might actually move on with your life. Then how is he supposed to use you?

Seriously. Can you hear yourself?

I mean this isn’t even a FWB situation because he isn’t behaving like a friend is he. He couldn’t give a shit about you.

I would say don't block him, but play him at his own game. When he next comes crawling back with a text, don't mark it as read. Or better yet, DO mark as read so he knows you have read it, but stay silent. It'll piss him off no end.
It'll be so so hard for you but don't give in, take each day as it comes and force yourself not to respond. You'll soon see how he really feels about you if he keeps trying to get hold of you, and you can then decide whether you want to give him the time of day or not.

He is just not that into you.

If he was, you wouldn't be on here wondering about it.

Keep him binned. Why on earth do you want such a headfuck of a man and situationship in your life? Because this is not a relationship at all. It's a game and he keeps winning and you my dear, are losing big style.

"we'd had conversations about how we were loyal to each other etc."

That's weird. Who has conversations like that??? Unless there's a lack of trust. Which I assume there is (and rightly so).

Yep he's clearly with someone else. Whether it's his ex or someone different. He doesn't ignore you because he's stressed with work. He ignores you because he's with another woman.

This. You aren't reading a single post on here. So many telling you he's obviously with another woman (sorry but not buying this bullshit about him being so busy working away) but regardless, he's not interested in you apart from the odd shag now and then. You're just ignoring every single post though and asking why he hasn't read your messages and wanting to hear from him again?!

Wake up OP.

Has he got form throughout the relationship for saying you need to stop talking? It sounds more to me that he ended the relationship 2 weeks ago but you've not taken it on board and keep contacting him, whereas he's saying you need to stop talking so you can move on.
The best way to get him back, is the same way to move on, so nothing to lose.
Basically, it means ignore him, live your life, don't text him at all. I suspect you've already blown it in this regard. Nothing is more unattractive than coming across as desperate and needy and begging.
So do the opposite, show your independence, let him know you don't need him. Remove his contact details from your phone so you can't contact him. Then go out with friends, lots.
You might even meet someone far better in the process and look back and wonder why you wasted a year of your life on this.

Emotional abuse.

Take back control before he inevitably messages again. Send him a message saying it’s no longer working for you then block block block.

@CLH23 do we have to spell it out for you?
He hasn't blocked you because one evening he might be horny and bored. He will then send the message 'are you awake?' to you (and 10 others) and shag the first person that responds. A week after that you'll be back here again , desperate for his attention.

I hope this is a wind up.

... last time he said we should stop talking. He messaged me a day later (I didn't him). So understandably this time me heads all over the place not knowing what to expect/do.

I appreciate all the "you're not listening" and "he's seeing someone else"'but it's not easy for anyone who has feelings and whatever the reality maybe, this hurts and yes it's hard when your in emotional turmoil.