Partner Arrested What do I do?

[Cbarkerxo]

someone I have been seeing and I went for a few drinks yesterday, everything was great and had a lovely day. Get back to the pub down the road and his friends girlfriend and friend was there. He made several inappropriate comments about the girl, I let it go and then he said something degrading which really upset me, I left the pub and I walked home. Slightly jealous? Maybe. But I have been treated like this before and I was made to feel like a problem.
I walked home, he was ringing me constantly. He got back before I did, decided to get the car keys.. next thing I have a call from him saying ‘this is your fault babe’. He had crashed the car into a parked car down the road (luckily no one was hurt).
he’s been arrested at midnight, I haven’t heard a thing. Really bad experience with the police and I have been left in the dark. I understand they can’t and won’t tell me certain things.. but what do I do? Do I wait for him to contact me/go pick him up or do I just leave? The fact he said it was my fault really has upset me.

Leave him to it, it’s his problem to sort out

He had a few drinks then crashed his car and it's your fault? Block him op. Before he insists you pay for the damage... What a dickhead..

Walk away. That's it.

Leave. he's a misogynistic drunk who drinks and drives and then blames you.

No second chances, no picking him up, just dump right now.

Yep, I’ve come out of a 4 year narcissistic relationship to this. Now I’m sad questioning if this is all me

I'd just block him and be done with it. Disgusting behaviour. Men like that add nothing but stress and drama to your life so cut your losses and move on.

This is a serious question?

You say he went back to get 'the' car keys, do you mean yours or his?

If they're his you do nothing. If they're yours you get onto your insurance company immediately.

How do you know he crashed it down the road and got arrested btw?

Please don't tell me you went down there? 🙄

If you poured alcohol down his throat, forced him into the driver's seat and held a gun to his head whilst telling him to drive, then yep it's all your fault.

But you know this anyway.

It's not you, its all him. Unfortunately the police can't tell you anything unless he is happy for them to tell you. However, surely from this situation you know all you need to know, to decide you need out of this relationship.

This is not your fault OP! Block him.

They were his car keys which we had purposely left in the house to avoid getting lost.

I was sat on the doorstep waiting for him to get home (clearly he got there first and I didn’t notice the car gone as I was drunk) he then called me and said ‘the airbags gone off, this is your fault babe’ and next minute hear sirens.

yes I definitely and stupidly went down there and seen what he had done. I’m just completely lost as to why anyone would do this

Of course it had nothing to do with you! Block and move on. You also might consider counseling if you haven't done already to explore why you keep picking inadequate men.

He’s a tosser. You aren’t. Give your self a bit of time before the next relationship. Get over your hangover, see a friend….

So was he over the limit?

Hope he doesn’t need a car for work because he is definitely going to get a ban

Thank the heavens no one was hurt or worse killed

@Cbarkerxo so someone you have only been seeing has keys to your home?? are you for real? leave him to it. nothing to do with you if he decided to do drink driving.

100% not your fault. But he's given you the gift of finding out just how awful he is. Leave.

Yes he will have been, we had been drinking most of the day as went to a city for a date day (clearly worked out well)..

luckily he walks to work but has a little boy he needs to pick up and see. Which makes it even worse.

I do not know what crossed his mind and then to blame me.. I wouldn’t even contemplate doing or encouraging any of that sort of behaviour

We are at his house, I’ve known him for over 6 years and romantically we have only just got together after me moving away for a few years

Let him rot, you didn't force him to drive and crash his car.

Youve just been unlucky dating him.

He's a stupid nasty drunk driver.

Driving when under the influence is bad enough. Blaming you for his poor choices will be a pattern of behaviour he is familiar with.

Now you know why someone dumped him. He's an arse. Sod that.

Be glad you found out. You're strong. You can dump him and move on.

He won't change. It's not your fault. He's not for you. Lucky escape. Don't go back with him. You can do better. He had his chance.

Dump. Block. Move on.

You need to tell him no, this is all HIS fault. He was the twat who made the decision to drunk drive. And then.... nothing. End the relationship, he's obviously a stupid immature twat.

yes I definitely and stupidly went down there and seen what he had done. I’m just completely lost as to why anyone would do this

He was playing to the gallery.

I'm just completely lost as to why anyone would encourage him, by running after him.

Just don't have any more contact with him.

You consider drinking all day a 'date day'...? Seriously?

LTB and raise your bar.

Who's house - I assume it was his as you sat on the doorstep.

Why did you not go back to your own house.

As you are only seeing him and I assume have no ties I would cut all contact as he does not seem like a good person.

He also cannot take responsibility for his own actions if he is blaming you for him crashing his car and getting arrested whilst drunk, what else would he blame you for in the future and what would the punishment be ?

Take this as a warning and run as fast as possible as it probably will not get better.

Dip out girl ..what a wanker ….drink driver