Partner Arrested What do I do?

[Cbarkerxo]

someone I have been seeing and I went for a few drinks yesterday, everything was great and had a lovely day. Get back to the pub down the road and his friends girlfriend and friend was there. He made several inappropriate comments about the girl, I let it go and then he said something degrading which really upset me, I left the pub and I walked home. Slightly jealous? Maybe. But I have been treated like this before and I was made to feel like a problem.
I walked home, he was ringing me constantly. He got back before I did, decided to get the car keys.. next thing I have a call from him saying ‘this is your fault babe’. He had crashed the car into a parked car down the road (luckily no one was hurt).
he’s been arrested at midnight, I haven’t heard a thing. Really bad experience with the police and I have been left in the dark. I understand they can’t and won’t tell me certain things.. but what do I do? Do I wait for him to contact me/go pick him up or do I just leave? The fact he said it was my fault really has upset me.

Dump him. His problem. Not yours

What do you do? End the “romantic” relationship, block him, cut all ties. I doubt you’ll get a single person on here telling you to give it another go. You’re not seeing things clearly, so trust the collective opinion you’re getting here.

Being not long out of a bad relationship leaves you vulnerable to fall into another.... Block and take some time for yourself op.

Clearly you did not know this man as well as you thought you did. Block all contact with him.

Be on your own and in the meantime get therapy to reset your very poor boundaries. These have certainly been skewed by being in a previous poor relationship. Love your own self for a change and read “Women who love too much” by Robin Norwood.

Partner?!

Leave him. Why are you punishing and sabotaging yourself by association with people of such a low standard. If you do, you will only ever experience that- low standards.

You'd be an absolute fool to continue this short-lived relationship.
Everything that's happened is his doing, nothing to do with you, so refuse to take any blame and let him get on with it.

just dump him, no-one needs this grief.

1. Don't date men (or 'men') who say horrible things to or about women. They are mysoginists.
2. Don't date men who play sick mind games trying to make you jealous (or any other type).
3. Don't date men who drink and drive
4. Don't date men who blame you for their bad actions.

He's comes accross as highly emotionally abusive op.

Take this opportunity to run for the hills.

Read up on how to spot narcissistic abusers so you never date one again.

You said partner in the post title but someone you've been seeing in the post? Assuming it's the latter you simply block the twat and move on. Not your monkey, not your problem.

Leave leave leave and block him he is a waste of space ! Dangerous man! And you need to pull yourself together and have more respect for yourself! You’ve been hurt before you’re doubting yourself but listen to me !
You had red flags all day!
the date was drinking in pubs all day
He was being misoginistic
he was being degrading
At this point you left him but went to his house!??!!!
he drove his car drunk and crashed it
he blamed you
you went to see him!??

you are sabotaging yourself !

Dump him by text and never meet him again. Seriously. Hes a snake with his words. A deliberate headwrecker. No discussions with him, just 'I'm done, leave me alone' and screenshot that (incase you need to prove to the police you told him to stay away from you) then block him.

Change your house locks if he's ever had access to your home. Post any of his stuff back to him via signed for delivery.

Do not be convinced that you 'owe' him an in person conversation. We do not owe abusive men that. We owe ourselves saftey and peace.

Do you live with him? I'd move out if its his house. So what he has a kid he should be seeing that's not your issue. He's not someone you want in your life so I'd move out while he's in with the police.

I'd be thinking about the last 4 partners and what you'd have done for them in that situation, being with a narcissist
You would go and get them and apologise etc

Do the opposite this time and make different decisions. This is a relationship disaster waiting to happen. You deserve better, and this wasn't your fault x

The only thing you've done wrong is not realise your self worth.

You've only being seeing this creepy loser because you have low self esteem.

You need to have nothing more to do with him whatsoever.

Nothing worse than a drunk driver. He sounds awful, dump him.

You've gone from one abusive man to another. Block this loser and put time into figuring out why you keep choosing sub-standard men.

This ! Please listen to this!

None of this was your fault. This guy is a looser, just block him and like others said, learn to be by yourself, get to know yourself. Preferably in therapy.

You are worth much, much better.

It’s definitely not you, but this is a time to draw a hard boundary and walk away. He’s shown his true colours alright.
Sounds stressful

This sums it up perfectly.

He's a total prick and you should block him immediately after his disgusting behaviour.

He is not your partner if you have only just started to date him. He is not your responsibility. It is not your fault.

When somebody chooses to drink and drive, they have made a decision that only they are responsible for.

Ditch him and cut all contact. If he has any belongings in your house then leave them out for him to collect somewhere.

Take time time single before dating again. Reading up how to spot these men.

Do not tell new men about past partners abuse (at least not for a while). As it gives them the green light that you may tolerate abuse. So if they are that sort, they will pursue you more.

I suspect this guy knew your past so thought you'd be an easy target. Especially if you jumped that relationship into this with not much break.

I hope you don't live with this guy.
If so, that's something else to consider going forwards - why you took a risk like that so soon into dating.

Don't take mad risks.
Never rush into living together, marriage or babies.

Tf you're getting out of this (I hope) before he got you pregnant.

He spent the whole day acting like a twat, and ended up by getting arrested. Saying "this is your fault" is just a random comment by a drunk twat. Ignore the comment and concentrate on extricating yourself from this relationship.

Depending on your living situation that means either.
a) a text saying "you're ditched"
b) a text saying "you're ditched and you need to leave immediately, you can come and collect your stuff at 6pm tomorrow"
c) a text to your mum saying "I've left Twat, can I please come and stay with you with my stuff for a week?"
d) a text saying "we need to split up, let's meet to discuss the lease on the flat" follows by lots of negotiation.

You don't need or deserve this. End it and leave him to get himself home. Maybe rethink your friendships and all day drinking lifestyle, it tends to end in tears.