Keep Flirting A LOT when i go out

[flirty]

It's happening more and more.
And goes just a lttle bit too far each time.

I love my dh and am happy. I'm happy with my family and my life.

I go out with my girlfriends (every few weeks. Its been more since nov when my friend's dd and my dd got older and were sleeping better) and when I do I just always end up talking to good looking blokes. They come up to me or i go over to them. Not always alone, with my friends too.

I can only think i do this because i miss feeling sexy and fanciable to strangers. I used to love 'going out on the pull' when i was younger and not trying to sound big headed, never was without male attention.

Now I'm a mum and married I just feel like nobody will ever make me feel desirable in the same way again.

dh does fancy me and tells me a lot. He's affectionate to. Great dad, and friend. I do fancy him. But its a different feeling when i'm out and its a stranger.

I also have issues with my self esteem. Never think i'm pretty enough or attractive enough.
But thats odd too as I have loads of confidence generally and everyone would say i'm outgoing , chatty and confident. I am i suppose, as i go over to these guys and never think they wont fancy me. But I think I must do this to make me feel attractive, i.e, 'I must be nice as I know you want me' etc.

Not sure why i'm posting. Just wondered what you thought.

Been thinking about this a lot recently.

Whats wrong with flirting? Do you ever act on your flirty conversations?

how would you feel it if it were your dh flirting with women when he went out?

Not really. Dancing etc.
Once when I was VERY drunk , ok twice, they have tried to kiss me. not the whole hog just a peck on lips. I said 'no' but not very meaningfully.

And i have been contacted by one on facebook. he sent a few saucy messages and I replied then that was that. No more.

One put my mobile number in his phone (took my phone from me and called his so he had my no.)and then texted me. He wanted to meet up but I said no. i don't want to cheat. We didn't.

dizzydixies, I'd HATE it which is why i feel bad. Well I wouldn't mind him chatting etc but I know he never would.
I can't help it though. I like doing it. I like the attention and the feeling I get. But feel bad after.

don't worry, flirting is normal.

Women desire being desired. Don't worry about it. Do it while you still can!!

well there's your answer then
do you like the feeling the flirting gives you more than how much you dislike how you feel after it

am not judging/having any kind of opinion just trying to get you to see if from his point of view

Hmm, i hope its ok.

I hate speaking like this as it sounds so up myself, but it happens every time. i must have FLIRT written all over my face.
One bloke said i was cheeky!

I don't dress tarty. Nice and modern but not slaggy. I'm nearly 30 but still feel very young. i got ID'd on friday night.
I just like to go out and dance with my girl friends and flirt. Oh dear.

I'm a regular BTW

well, it doesn't sound right to me as you describe it as going a little bit too far each time
I think we can all understand it but if it was purely innocent I don't think you would be worrying about it
it sounds like a risky game
can you think of something else you could do in life that would give you a similar thrill without the same risk to your relationship? eg perhaps sports, learning something new that challenges you, acting, some kind of acceptable risk taking?

and what is up with your relationship that you want to do this? it sounds like something could be not quite right there

sounds prety much like what you would do if you were single

so something is up

why dont you go out with dh instead

or do something that isnt in the cattle marklet scene with friends

how long have you been with dp? i think it's pretty normal to want to be liked outside of family life now and again.

Hi franny

I don't know. maybe its the 7 year itch.
Been together 10 , married nearly 7.

He has been on the ps3 a lot in the evenings. Thats annoying but then I'm on here. In another room though as the pc is in the playroom.

I hadn't been out properly for ages then dd got that bit older and my friend and i started going out. Then all the new attention came back i liked it. We always end up having sex when i get in. dh and I that is.

He knows I'm flirty and does get a bit annoyed (not really tho) if he;s out with me but then i'm not the same then. I'd like him to be smooching me on the dance floor but he just stands with the other dh's and doesn't really dance. I've said to him will you be flrty/passionate when we're out but he doesn't really do it.

sorry, dh

We do go out. Not loads but sometimes. For dinner/pub etc . But its harder then as we need a babysitter.
He doesn't mind me going out as he gets to go on the PS3 with his mates online.

I do other stuff with my friends too. Quiet drinks and shopping etc.

Sports dont interest me atall.

Hello flirty
you're flirting with ME now aren't you, you big tart

would he be happy about what you were doing? if he was standing next to you?

oh. um. right.

I think flirting and feeling attractive is somethin of a personality thing - dp and I are quite flirty people but it has unstated but very definite boundries. A bit of sexual innuendo and cheekiness is fine if deep down you know it is in a 'still got it' way rather than a 'I want you to...' way. That is the crucial thing.

Are you having fun and a laugh or are you looking for confirmation of something more?

do you talk to dp about it?

it is not wrong unless it feels wrong and then it is wrong IYSWIM.

flirting is fun though. as long as it's not taken seriously.

do indoor climbing lots of good looking guys with their shirts off

whoops you dont like sports

Well you do look lovely tonight...

No being serious now he does see me flirt. A bit. Once he got a bit annoyed as my friend was taking pics of us all with a guy! He deleted the pics. But he knows I'm chatty and friendly. And going home with him.

I always put my pics on facebook and there are always blokes in them . He sees them. Me and my sis and friends always have men in our photos. Good looking random men we've chatted to. He doesn't really comment.

Do you think that it would hurt him if he saw you? Would you mind if he behaved the same way?

If the answer to either of these questions is yes, you need to do something. Stop. Talk. Address what's wrong with the relationship.

I agree though if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't right
I think you should work on the relationship (stop MN and PS3 all the time, for a start....errrr...says she on the pc with dh on the DSLite )

and find something thrilling and dangerous to do that doesn't involve flirting with other men

but you haven't done anything.

are you sure you are not just being a bit hard on yourself?

I have said to him in the past that I need to feel attractive and not just a drudge housewife. I know I'm not btw but just never feel as lovely as i'd like to be.

I have said that I like attention etc and I think he knows that. But attention from him and a sexy stranger is so different.

the facebook pics may be going a bit to far though.