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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend withheld important information from me..illegally evicted.. Feel so hurt

96 replies

Poppiesanddaffodils · 31/03/2024 21:07

Wonder if anyone might offer their opinion on this situation please. Please bear with me. I will get to the point. I was living with my young family and husband in rented accommodation beside a neighbour for about 6 years. During this time my neighbour became what I considered a friend. She often arrived at my door unannounced, text me, sent me photos, arranged to meet up and we often attended events together. I struggle to trust others but felt that this lady was honest and kind and I felt that I could confide in her over a number of things. She also confided in me about different things.

About 18 months ago, our landlord said that they were moving back into our rental property and gave us notice to leave our rental on this basis. My husband and I sought to buy and find alternative rental properties in the area and searched daily for over a year. We were almost on the verge of registering as homeless when at the final moment before our notice ran out, we found another property.

During this time, my neighbour ie. this lady would often text me and call to me to enquire about whether we had found anywhere to move to. She knew the enormous stress that we were under and the difficulties we were facing as there is a huge shortage of accommodation in our area. I cried to her on occasion as the pressure was too much and I was dealing with a long term illness too amongst other things that I'd prefer not to say here.

When we moved out a few months ago, we promised to stay in touch and meet up when things had settled.

We have since found out from another neighbour who we bumped into purely by accident and who we didn't know too well that our former rental property is now being rented to another person (it was RE rented 1 month after we left) and our landlords did not move back in.

We were excellent tenants and had paid our rent on time and in full so it's very hard to hear that it now looks like we have been subject to an illegal eviction by our landlord which we will deal with separately.

What hurts the most though is that this lady who I considered my friend lives next door to our former rental house and has yet to tell me that the house is now rented to someone else. We had been texting frequently over the past few months since we moved out and in my last text to her I asked her out straight if our landlords had moved in yet. She replied to everything else in my text but not to this question which I found do strange as she is normally quite precise with her replies. I am starting to feel very suspicious now. I do not know why she is reluctant to share this information with me. It would be perfectly obvious to her that someone else was living at our old address and indeed 8 expressed concerns with her at one stage that I really hoped the landlords were not lying to us and evicting us under false pretences.

We could sue the landlord for an illegal eviction but what hurts so much is that she knew the hell we had been through trying to find another home for our young children and seems to have chosen not to share information with us that we have been evicted under false pretences. I'd understand if she was someone who kept too herself but the fact that she was active in pursuing a friendship with me (or so I thought) and constantly asking me to meet up with her etc. My husband says not to let it bother me and go let it go as she wasn't a true friend and I only had coffee with her a few times a year.. but I think I valued her friendship more than she did mine and I feel sick to think that she is withholding information from me now. I know that if she was in the same position I'd certainly have told her. Please be kind in sharing your views but I'd appreciate your honesty also on if you think I'm overreacting. Thank you.

OP posts:
TraitorsGate · 31/03/2024 21:16

Why would she tell you, it would upset you, wouldn't change the situation and no one knows why your ex landlord didn't move in or who the new tenants are. Its obviously hurt you but you don't know the details and if the landlord followed the right procedure what can you realistically do, why do you ask her if the landlord has moved in yet, I really think you need to try and let this go and enjoy your hew home.

Gulbekian · 31/03/2024 21:17

You seem to be assuming a bad motive on her part. But perhaps she has avoided mentioning what has happened because she knows what a rough time you have all had and that the re-rental will upset you and doesn't want to be the bearer of bad news?

IDontHateRainbows · 31/03/2024 21:18

I think you are directing your anger at the wrong person

Lovelyview · 31/03/2024 21:23

I think she hasn't wanted to upset you. I'm sorry you have been through such a stressful time. Maybe just message her to say you'd heard there were new tenants and did she know what happened.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 31/03/2024 21:25

Possibly becuse she did not want to wind you up, stress you further?

Did the LL give you the legal notice requirements? I'm asking if that is the case, the LL could have changed their minds

If I was you, I'd move on and trust me, time will heal.

next time you move, consider a longer contract but both side will need to be agreeable,

Good luck

Mamananny · 31/03/2024 21:25

Why are you mad at your neighbour?

She's done nothing wrong. She's literally a bystander.

She probably feels very sad and awkward.

It's very, very weird to hold her morally accountable for something she has nothing to do with at all.

Why are you even still in contact with her?

If you put any blame on me I would just block you.

Waffleson · 31/03/2024 21:25

You are wrong to blame her, it's nothing to do with her. For all you know these new people could be family of your landlord. She probably doesn't want to upset you.

JimBobsWife · 31/03/2024 21:26

I know it's not the main point of the thread but if your landlord was evicting you illegally, why did you leave?

Mamananny · 31/03/2024 21:29

JimBobsWife · 31/03/2024 21:26

I know it's not the main point of the thread but if your landlord was evicting you illegally, why did you leave?

They left under the pretense that the landlord wanted their property back to live in.

They didn't, they just wanted to family out they rented it out again.

I think a landlord has more rights to evict a family if they want to move back in themselves. But they lied about that, which they didn't know till after they left.

Gazelda · 31/03/2024 21:32

I didn't know that a landlord giving notice because he wants to move into his home and then not actually moving in is an illegal eviction.

It's possible that your former neighbour didn't know that either. So why would she tell you he hadn't moved in?

Don't take your ire out on her. Don't assume she's mistreated you or sided with your landlord or tried to stitch you up. She might just be quietly getting on with her own life, unaware that your former landlord has broken the law and you've been his victim.

pickledandpuzzled · 31/03/2024 21:32

Were you actually evicted, or did the landlord ask you to leave so you did?

I think (not an expert) that you have to stay until the paperwork is served in order for it to count as an eviction.

I know that it feels the same to you, but it isn’t the same, legally speaking.

NCForQuestions · 31/03/2024 21:33

The woman has done nothing wrong.

And your landlords situation may have changed - doesn't make your eviction illegal.

Doyoumind · 31/03/2024 21:33

There's no evidence of your friend acting maliciously. She's probably protecting you from the additional stress of finding out the landlord didn't move back after all.

I find it strange that you are blaming her somehow. You've lost perspective.

exerciseshmexercise · 31/03/2024 21:34

Were you actually evicted? Were the eviction procedures properly followed?

If I'm honest I can understand why she hasn't said anything to you - what would it achieve if she told you? It would only cause hurt and angst and maybe she thought you'd never know if she didn't tell you so it was a kindness.

Ribenaberry12 · 31/03/2024 21:34

I think it’s likely she may not have a clue what has happened. Also, the landlord may have planned to move back in to the property but something has prevented from them from doing so - could maybe be illness, bereavement, relationship breakdown… and perhaps they have had to let it again quickly for income? Sounds like you have had a rough time, OP. I hope things settle for you.

Delphina17 · 31/03/2024 21:34

I find it very strange that you're upset with her. How would she know who the landlord is and who new tenants are? And if she did, most likely it was to avoid a topic you clearly find upsetting.

Also you weren't evicted illegally? Sounds like your landlord followed the correct process and gave you plenty of notice...after 18 months you would have likely been on a rolling contract after all. If he changed his mind after you left, moved family into his property or decided to let it again, it doesn't make it illegal for him to have asked you to leave.

You've found a new home now so the best for you is probably to forget about the former one. Best of luck.

TraitorsGate · 31/03/2024 21:34

Mamananny · 31/03/2024 21:29

They left under the pretense that the landlord wanted their property back to live in.

They didn't, they just wanted to family out they rented it out again.

I think a landlord has more rights to evict a family if they want to move back in themselves. But they lied about that, which they didn't know till after they left.

Edited

You wouldn't know the reason, the landlord may have intended to move back in but circumstances changed, bereavement, illness, anything could have happened but that's between the ex landlord and the authorities if op wants to proceed with a claim against them, its nothing to do with anyone else.

Weareallmadeofstardust · 31/03/2024 21:40

How would your neighbour know that the new occupants of the house were not the landlord and their family?

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 31/03/2024 21:44

How does the neighbour know they are renting? How does she know that the landlord didn't end up selling to another landlord rather than moving back in? In fact how do you know the latter isn't the case?
Even if she does how is this in anyway her fault?!

LaviniasBigBloomers · 31/03/2024 21:47

You are projecting massively. It is not your neighbours fault, or responsibility, that your LL has acted illegally. She may not even know that this has happened. But even if she does know, it's not her fault. You are building this up into something it doesn't need to be. Let it go.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 31/03/2024 21:48

You also don't know if the other neighbour has the right end of the stick! Honestly the way your post was going I was expecting the plot twist to be that neighbour 1 was secretly the landlord!

Creamcoconut · 31/03/2024 21:49

She’s probably not given it too much thought and is intent on not upsetting you after your horrid time on the brink of homelessness. I would not assume negative plans on her part. It’s the landlord you’ve the beef with. It’s possible he’s let the property out to close family or close friends of his or at a higher price what with rental prices going sky high.

CheeryPye · 31/03/2024 21:50

You can't sue the landlord for illegal eviction because there was no illegal eviction. You were just served notice. Seriously, move on.

pictoosh · 31/03/2024 21:51

Well it's not her responsibility is it? What can she do either way?
I don't understand how being in possession of this information would have helped you or why it was up to her to provide it.

I understand that this episode has been incredibly stressful but you're directing your ire at the wrong person.

Changingplace · 31/03/2024 21:53

I think it’s unfair to blame your friend for this, either she does realise what’s happened but doesn’t want to upset you, or equally she could have no idea who the landlord is and whether the family who have moved in is them or not?

I don’t understand why you’re blaming her?

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