AIBU to be upset that my husband wants to go to Hooters

[MuddyPaws1993]

Am I wrong to feel angry? Him and his football friends are all in their 40’s, early 50s and the thought of him gawping at all the girls upsets me. In my own opinion I think the intention is still the same as if he were to go somewhere and pay someone to take their clothes off lol.
He says he wants to go just for the “food and drink” and nothing else 🤨 yeah right!
I have spoken to him about it and told him how much it would upset me going there and he said he would go and find a Wetherspoons on his own 🤣🤣 but I don’t really believe that and think he is just saying that to make me quiet.
Am I being unreasonable?

Ignoring PP about your other posts, I will just assume I know nothing else to suggest your husband is a dickhead (which it appears he is…)

Hooters is boring - yes pretty waitresses, not even remotely close to a strip club. It’s not that big of a deal although I would find it odd when the food and drink is average, so at least go somewhere better.

obviously many men (and women) feel the same as your DH though or they wouldn’t still be in business.

@pitchfever Yes. We have worked through that but every time we do there’s something else that pops up 🙄 Am I just being stupid and insecure?

Perhaps a better question to ask yourself is 'how can I leave him for good'?

I would have thought that the food at hooters is awful.

Given your previous threads I would be concerned about him drinking at all.

Looking at other women would be the least of my worries and whether he would be violent, abusive, and drag my young daughter into it would be at the forefront of my mind.

You're focusing on the wrong thing op.

Hooters is crap, the boneless bites are nice, it's not Spearmint Rhino! Ugly American tan tights with orange shorts and yes tight orange tops. I don't think you have anything to worry about from them but your dh sounds like a bit of a letch.

Gullible yes

No your husband is a twat.

This. Hooters is actually pretty lame. I wouldn't be bothered by it, purely because the outfits might have been a bit more "ooh la la" twenty years ago, but now it's no different to what you see a lot of people wear day to day in the summer. Less the lurid tights.

As PP says, this is should be last on your list of things to be worried about.

You’re crazy to stay with this piece of shit.

If you had worked through it, your husband wouldn't be drinking anymore.

If you had worked through it, you would trust him when he says he won't go.

You haven't worked through it at all.

I wouldn’t bat a eyelid if my DH went to Hooters.

My wedding venue was near one, a lot of the guys went there the evening before and no one gave the slightest fuck.

But with the other things I’m reading on this thread, it seems there are bigger concerns for you op

You "worked through" being deliberately locked out of the house by him?!? Sorry OP if you "work" on anything it needs to be alone and in therapy to enable you to leave this abuser.

It's not the kind of place you're imagining. Most people i know go there regularly on a bar crawl and it's true for some reason people are really into the food (literally just chicken wings)

Oh my god, leave him!

He hasn't "worked through" anything with you

Well yes but it's the intention isn't it. The USP of Hooters is the attractive staff in revealing clothing, it doesn't matter that he'd probably encounter similar elsewhere, he wants to go somewhere specifically for that reason. The food isn't anything you can't get anywhere else. It's seedy and gross and misogynistic.

Sometimes I read these threads and think "good god this man must have a big dick because there surely isn't anything else keeping these women with these princes".

I almost don't want to ask but op why are you still with this scumbag? LEAVE already.

Specifically answering the Hooters question, I don’t and have never seen the issue with it to be honest. There’s no more flesh on display than and average night out in a city centre, or even during the day sometimes (maybe not this time of year!). A friend of a work colleague has a daughter that worked there at uni and she apparently loved it.

The problem here is the perception though isn't it. It's usp is the objectification of young women which is the only reason he wants to go .

Most women would have a problem with that, I should think

I can’t get wound up about Hooters, I have been loads of times in the US (all you can eat Wing Wednesdays are awesome) A lot of families go there as they screen sports and kids can’t go in other bars that show that so it’s a good option. The vibe is usually more TGI Fridays than strip club.

My dh wouldn't go because he'd feel it was inappropriate for a married man, in fact he wouldn't even suggest the idea because he wouldn't want me to think he would want to go.
Your dh sounds as though he doesn't give a monkeys about how you feel.