AIBU to be upset that my husband wants to go to Hooters

[MuddyPaws1993]

Am I wrong to feel angry? Him and his football friends are all in their 40’s, early 50s and the thought of him gawping at all the girls upsets me. In my own opinion I think the intention is still the same as if he were to go somewhere and pay someone to take their clothes off lol.
He says he wants to go just for the “food and drink” and nothing else 🤨 yeah right!
I have spoken to him about it and told him how much it would upset me going there and he said he would go and find a Wetherspoons on his own 🤣🤣 but I don’t really believe that and think he is just saying that to make me quiet.
Am I being unreasonable?

I disagree but there you go.

He says he wants to go just for the “food and drink” and nothing else

Hmm, yes, I believe Hooters is known for its amazing food and drink. Surely most people looking for great food and drink have Hooters at the top of their list🤔.

Another day, another thread from a woman with a dickhead husband. Mumsnet has really opened my eyes to just how many women out there are willing to be treated like shit just to be in a relationship.

What a sad old git. Men in their 50s leering at young girls.
His bags would be on the doorstep.

Basically it’s full of young girls predominantly teenage 18-23 who work there. The men go to gawp at the boobs and bums which are very clear on display of girls young enough to be their daughter. Most probably don’t see an issue I do I don’t think it’s harmless.

Ask yourself what happiness does he being to your life overall ? Because when you really think about it I bet there’s not much.

I doubt you are either of those things but you are with an abusive man who thinks it's ok to ogle women.

I'd be rethinking my options.

First post nailed it.

Surely women there are happy to wear the uniform? If you didn't you wouldn't work there.

What about women in tight tops with no bra showing nipples do they expect men not to look?

Just thinking about the average age of a hooters girl - like 20's? I would feel a bit sick at the thought of my middle aged partner checking out girls who could be his daughters...

Ogling women is the least of her problems. Locking her out of her home and distressing her and her little girl is the issue.

OP, you can do so much better than this.

A bunch of middle aged men going to a restaurant to letch over the young waitresses is 🤮 in my opinion. I wouldn't tell him that he can't go but I'd certainly tell him that he'll look like a creepy old man and that I'd find him a massive turn off as a result.

Hooters girls .. you see girls in summer dress far skimpy than those.. the food is crap. cheap frozen crap.
This isn't your problem .. the main problem is him being drunk and locking you out .
You have far bigger problems.
The reason you keep posting on here about your husband shows your relationship isn't working.
You need to kick him out and lock him out this time.. for good.

I would have no problems with my DH going and would find it quite amusing.

But that’s my lovely husband.

Your husband sounds absolutely awful and someone you need to be getting away from!

If I was in your situation no I wouldn’t be happy with him going because he already has such disdain for your relationship that this would just be another way of him making you feel like shit and him enjoying the power he has to make you feel like shit.

I doubt very much he’s going to go and sit in a Wetherspoons, and to be honest I wouldn’t waste your breath telling him how insecure it all makes you feel because he’s just going to do it anyway.

Indeed I would and do expect a man not to look.

Going braless / having nipples on show is not done for the male gaze. After all, we don’t stare / expect women to stare at male nipples through t-shirts etc, do we?

This would give me the ICK. It's so gross.

Just leave him. He's clearly not a keeper.

But in the real world your going to draw more attention to yourself like it or not.

People still talk about Jennifer Anniston in friends going braless years later.

This is another symptom of a not very high quality man - lots of ill behaviours from him that rightly upset you - can you not find a better man? I think you definitely can. This one is only going to piss you off and place you at risk and harm you if you carry on being close to him - get some distance and find a better man.

I wouldn't personally care about a partner going to Hooters because I should be feeling secure in my relationship. I doubt they'd run off with the staff.

As far as I understand it, it's a very different establishment in the UK to how it is in the UK. I haven't been, but the UK has better employment laws. The staff aren't relying on tips to make a living, for one thing.

But it sounds like your partner makes you feel very insecure and so I'll say that you're not being unreasonable to feel like this.

We might not be expected to gaze at men’s bare chests or nipples through his T-shirts but I know that I find it hard to resist 😂

It’s human nature to be drawn to the sexual/attractive physicalities of the opposite sex (or the same sex if same/sex attracted).

I know if there was a male version of Hooters I would be first in the queue 😂

Exactly! Or is it a case of only the hot men can look.

Why are you with him op?

I just feel so sorry for your dd being brought up in a household with a male role model like that. Vile, misogynist, pervy. Ugh. Just why op?

Idiots still talk about Jennifer (if they do). Just because something happened once, doesn’t mean we should accept it for eternity.

Your husband is a turd.

You need to recognise that, instead of worrying about the minutia of each isolated lack of care and cruel treatment incident he issues towards you.

You deserve better.

@wmale yeah we need stop objectify women and reducing them to something to stare at.

Regardless of what they wear or how they choose to present their body.