AIBU to be upset that my husband wants to go to Hooters

[MuddyPaws1993]

Am I wrong to feel angry? Him and his football friends are all in their 40’s, early 50s and the thought of him gawping at all the girls upsets me. In my own opinion I think the intention is still the same as if he were to go somewhere and pay someone to take their clothes off lol.
He says he wants to go just for the “food and drink” and nothing else 🤨 yeah right!
I have spoken to him about it and told him how much it would upset me going there and he said he would go and find a Wetherspoons on his own 🤣🤣 but I don’t really believe that and think he is just saying that to make me quiet.
Am I being unreasonable?

Nan
What's going on is that he is pushing boundaries again agd again abd seems to be getting a kick out of it.
It will never stop.
It’s nitbthe keys, it’s ging oit. If it’s not ‘going out with the lads’ it will be something else.

It’s not you. Certainly not you being stupid or insecure (I’m going to guess that’s what HE says to you. Not the reality).
Its him. It’s him being abusive and controlling and treating you like shit. It’s him all the way.

By worked through do you mean 'I brushed it under the carpet' ?

You keep jumping to 'am I the problem?'
Abusers train you to always look inwards instead of blaming them.

There is no excuse for abuse.
Your feelings are valid.

What do you need to leave your abuser?

Isn't the whole premise behind Hooters misogynistic

How exactly do you work through yourself and a three year old child being subjected to domestic abuse? As social services aware that you and your daughter are living with your abuser?

How do you all see the OP's previous threads?

Wmale
Surely women there are happy to wear the uniform? If you didn't you wouldn't work there.”

Do men (like you, possibly?) realise that some of these young women don’t have a choice.
Those that do are laughing at you whilst they take your tips. You don’t actually think they fancy you? 🤣

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I don’t know about your previous posts but hooters is rubbish! We were in cancun recently and I (f) wanted to go , just to yknow do hooters. Walked in and it was a brightly lit sports bar, the food was sooo expensive and it was the only restaurant on the whole trip we walked out of. Went to a wings place across the road that was incredible. Honestly it’s fine, but I believe there’s a bigger picture here. This isn’t the bit to get hung up on.
For context I’d kill dh if he went to a strip bar

Just another woman putting up with a misogynistic pathetic man. JFC

Same here. I'm appalled at the low bar accepted by some women
They must be desperate

I imagine this post will go down like a lead balloon, but Hooters women are not strippers.

Now if you had asked if it would be unreasonable for your husband to go to a strip club, then sure. The exception for strip clubs is for stag parties where the single men will have a drink while watching the stripping.

I had a Hooters uniform for my husband's pleasure. It was a touch too small (I'm a size 10 and can sometimes fit an 8) and would pinch in places, so I had to stop wearing it.

"Not strippers" is a very low bar for me, personally. But I gather the OP has worse things going on.

@VolvoFan so women wear Hooters uniform for men’s pleasure. Why does that make it okay for a man to go to look at women dressed like that?

And there is no exception for strip clubs, because it is a stag party does not make it okay

Hooters is just hot pants and tight tshirt but no nipples etc. I’ve been to uk pubs with the barmaid showing more boob. My cousin’s husband took us all there when we visited so we could get “the full USA experience”. It was just a burger bar. Nothing like a strip club.

@TeenLifeMum how many male and non model like female waiters do they employee?

@crumblingschools don’t get me wrong, it’s not my favourite place but it’s not the same as a guy going to a strip club.

N regards to the hooters question I'd have no issue. I go regularly myself and my sister used to work there.

@TeenLifeMum still misogynist

I used to work at Hooters (US not UK) many years ago. It's very tame. Mostly letchy middle aged men acting like they've never seen boobs before.

Hmmm, I was a bar/restaurant with a group of friends, we're all middle aged women, a couple of young men came in, very athletic, toned types with very fitted t shirts on.
We all looked, discreetly of course, a couple got quite flustered, they were nice to look at!! Are we all horrific old perverts then??

I’m not sure men finding women attractive is misogyny. What about women watching magic Mike (totally not my thing).

Misogyny would be if the men were slapping their arses while being served.

I'd be telling my husband to leave, especially as yours seems to have previous.

@TeenLifeMum if they mainly have female staff in tight clothing that surely is misogynistic. There is no other reason for it

@crumblingschools maybe look up the definition of misogyny. I’m not saying I like it but there’s plenty of themed restaurants so I think your definition is a stretch from the Oxford dictionary. Like modelling clothes on a catwalk- beautiful women (and men but depends on the designer just like this depends on the restaurant) wear clothing to attract attention. Is that misogynistic too in your world?