Husband irritated with me in restaurant - in front of others - for asking question about prawn tails

[SabrinaLina]

I was in a Chinese restaurant with my husband tonight.

When I was ordering mine, I asked the waitress if the prawns came with tails on.

I thought this was a normal and reasonable question? Since I prefer not to have to take them off, and would just order something else if they had tails on.

Anyway, my husband got annoyed at me in front of the waitress. He was huffing and tutting, and he acted annoyed and frustrated, saying 'why are you asking that?', implying i was being ridiculous.

I was embarrassed in front of the waitress and the other diners near us.

AIBU to feel put out? For me, it made me feel flat for the whole meal (though I made conversation normally).

Yeah I'd have got angry right back at him. What was HIS problem? Does he not understand prawns?
Don't let him make you feel like that. He's not God.

Sounds unnecessarily fussy to me as it's hardly an onerous task to not eat the tail, but it wasn't worth getting stroppy with you about it. Is everything between the two of you OK otherwise?

Did he leave his manners at home? Asy late mother would have said

Sounds like a storm in a teacup.

I would personally be more like your DH, but also some people are more fussy so live and let live.

Marriage is prawn tails.

Honestly, if he found your question embarrassing, why the fuck did he make a fuss over it in front of the waitress, multiplying any awkwardness by 1000?

I really, really hate people who 'make a scene' in public.

I do get bored with people (usually women, in my experience) who can’t just order a meal without fussy questions or wanting bits of it left off or the sauce on the side etc. It does sound like he overreacted but do you do this every time you eat out?

He was very rude and it was a perfectly reasonable question and one which I would have asked. It's no different to asking any other question about the food you're ordering.

No I don't do it every time I eat out! I only ask about prawns and raw red onion for sandwiches/burgers. I'm generally unfussy....

He didn't need to make a fuss, but are prawn tails really a deal breaker? Complete shells I understand can be annoying, but the tails aren't particularly onerous.

My DSC eat the tails

I'd have left!
I bet it is not the 1st time?

@JustWhatWeDontNeed I guess what I meant, and should have said to the waitress, were the shells. But I said tails instead.

Ignore the minimisers, it is a big deal. You asked a reasonable question about food you are going to eat and pay for. Why. Shouldn't you have what you enjoy eating.

your DH sounds like a pain

He overreacted completely, it's just a question. It doesn't make you fussy to ask a question about your meal.

I love prawns but hate peeling them and hate getting a bit that I've missed in my mouth. A meal out is an expensive treat so it's perfectly reasonable to want to be able to enjoy it. Your H was being a dick.

Loads of people do which, I'm sorry, should be a crime.

It's canny different like!

Still doesn't excuse him being a dick but does make you seem OTT fussy

Thanks all. He made feel like some kind of fussy child.

And it's not the first time, which I think makes it feel worse.

Oh for goodness sakes I find tails a pain and it's perfectly normal to ask! I often ask a question about a meal, why the heck not if I'm paying money I want to know what I'm eating! It's not fussy, it's not picky, it's asking for clarification. You aren't asking them to change the dish after all.

I don't disagree! Can imagine nothing worse, but these animals will scavenge the prawn tails of others

It was absolutely normal question. People do ask questions about dishes and drinks when choosing.
I think your DH either a hard work or doesn’t really like you if he does such a fuss over nothing.

I certainly would not have said anything, but in my head I would have thought wtf. It’s your right to be fussy but how a few tail shells is a dealbreaker is baffling.

Id it’s a really formal setting I just cut the tail off and inwardly moan about loss of the tail meat. Anything less than super formal I just start by removing the tail shells (one quick squeeze), put them all to one side on the plate, wipe the detailing hand really well on napkin and tuck in😁.

I don’t see the problem asking a simple question as long as you aren’t asking the kitchen to change the menu. Sometimes it helps when choosing between two dishes.

You're very polite. I just chomp my way to the end!

I've usually found it specifies on the menu if prawns are 'shell on'. There's no harm in asking though. Somehow he sees there is, which is odd behaviour.

Perfectly sensible question, OP. I wouldn't want the faff of taking prawn tails (or shells) off. In fact, I always feel hard done by when they turn up shell/tail on. Will start asking the same question from now on!
Your husband is an arse for behaving like that.