Husband irritated with me in restaurant - in front of others - for asking question about prawn tails

[SabrinaLina]

I was in a Chinese restaurant with my husband tonight.

When I was ordering mine, I asked the waitress if the prawns came with tails on.

I thought this was a normal and reasonable question? Since I prefer not to have to take them off, and would just order something else if they had tails on.

Anyway, my husband got annoyed at me in front of the waitress. He was huffing and tutting, and he acted annoyed and frustrated, saying 'why are you asking that?', implying i was being ridiculous.

I was embarrassed in front of the waitress and the other diners near us.

AIBU to feel put out? For me, it made me feel flat for the whole meal (though I made conversation normally).

Ffs it's totally normal to ask a restaurant about how a dish is prepared. Or to ask questions about several dishes so you can make an informed choice. Why on earth was you DH embarrassed? Did you ask the question rudely?

Ask what you like, it's your dinner.

What the F has it got to do with him

Marriage is prawn tails.

LOL.

It's a completely reasonable question given that the answer was going to determine whether you ordered that dish or another. Whether or not someone else would have cared about the tails is irrelevant. But even if it had been a silly or unnecessary question, your H's response was rude. I'd be curious why it bothered him so much, but I'd also probably ask him to keep his opinions to himself - if he does this a lot it's likely not just you that's annoyed or embarrassed by it, but anyone who has to witness it.

I occasionally ask a question about a dish I’m ordering, to make sure there’s definitely no meat involved etc. it’s not a big deal. Your husband made it a big deal by carrying on the way he did. He’s the embarrassing one here, he made a scene. You did nothing wrong.

Exactly. A perfectly reasonable question about a meal you'll be eating - and paying for. 🌹

you get bored of people having preferences?

The cost of eating out, I will ask questions and want the food I am paying through the nose for the way I want it, if it isn't too much trouble.

DP gets annoyed with me asking for tea with milk on the side. Tea cannot brew with milk and a teabag. Nobody would make coffee that way. I'm paying just leave the milk on the side, asked with a smile and a please.

The only one who was doing embarrassing things was him.

Waitress probably thought your DH was a knob.

100% with you about prawn shells/tails, OP. I really don't get why restaurants serve them shell on. If I wanted to check on that before ordering I 100% would, and if DH dared to object I'd be telling him to butt right out.

I don't think it matters what you asked, your husband was rude to you and he was the one making things awkward. I'd be really upset - even if you had asked something 'wrong' I'd expect your husband as your partner to make you feel better about it - not worse. Seriously who needs enemies with husbands like this.

This.

I always ask about shells. I really can’t be doing with peeling and getting in a mess. Maybe saying tails by accident caused a bit of confusion but I’m sure she figured it out. Next time he asks something in a restaurant say prawn tails.

I always ask this. I like prawns but sitting and peeling makes it very un enjoyable for me.

YANBU. Ignore him.

What?

It was one question about prawn tails. Get a grip. And pack in the misogyny.

I do love prawns, in every style, but Peeling them is a pain and makes your fingers stink. But I prefer tails on, in loads of oil and garlic and chilli. Totally reasonable question.

Love Wishes marriage quote.

You did nothing wrong op. I don't like the tails on either.
My exh was like this. Liked to make me.look stupid in public. I kicked him out eventually and it was the best days work I ever did

When you say it's not the first time, do you mean it's not the first time you've asked questions about the menu, or it's not the first time he has been a dick about you asking questions about the menu?

It can be a bit annoying if you're out with someone who asks multiple questions, particularly if they are self evident. My DM when she was eating out was gluten free and despite me pointing out things for her on the menu would persist in asking if the chicken pot pie had gluten ( clue it's a pastry pie) and weird accommodations rather than just ordering something that was actually gluten free. But we love her so we just smile and give a good tip.

Or DH has this thing about real ale and always has the poor waitress going over to find out what's on and then the sighing if there isn't anything on - I've told him to stop doing this in one place where they never have real ale or we will stop going.

I think that's what is happening here. You might be a bit annoying with multiple questions, but your DH should just accept that as being part of you, him getting huffy puffy is not good.

Asking if the prawns were still shelled isn't unreasonable.

Personally I find them a pain and hate getting my hands messy at the dinner table while out and would ask too. It's got nothing to do with being fussy.

I honestly can’t understand your attitude. People have food preferences. People are paying a lot of money to have a meal out, and want to choose something they will enjoy.

I am in recovery from an eating disorder and so yes I prefer to have my sauce on the side and add it in the quantity I’m comfortable with. I’m not doing this to bore you, or to be fussy.

Your husband was being ridiculous and he was the one causing a scene!

I ask about prawns being shelled too, I find it messy and annoying if they are served with shells so I’ll pick something else if that’s how they come. Nothing wrong with clarifying something on a menu is what you want to order, better than paying for a meal you’re not going to enjoy.

Its hardly fussy to query a simple thing on a menu, rather than pay for a meal where you’re ‘inwardly moaning’ about the fact it’s actually not quite how you’d prefer to have it?

You’re in a restaurant, you can ask whatever questions you like about the food and order as per your preferences. That’s the joy of eating out!

I love popping the prawns out of their tails! I was quite sad when our regular Thai place started removing them 🤣

So you are always asking overly fussy questions?

I am going to go with your first story about asking if they had tails on (shells on is generally made clear) and honestly you do sound a bit irritating / embarrassing, all you needed to do was cut them off. That said, sounds like your husband magnified the situation.