How can my new partner move in

[Khrysteen]

Long story il try to keep it short.
Single parent to 2 boys age 5 and 18.work part time own my own home outright no mortgage payments.
Want to move my partner in within next year. Problems
1.i lose any benefits I currently get which adds up to almost £800 a month.
2.partner currently rents a property at £600 a month. Says he can't afford to pay me the £800 I will lose in benefits.
He will also have to travel further to work every work costing about an extra £200 a month fuel. He said he can't justify giving up his security, ie his rented property, to be worse of both financially and security wise.

I do understand what he is saying. I just don't see anyway we can make it work. Although we both want to.
Any advice or anyone in same situation.
If we can't find a way to live together we break up as the distance between us is too big to keep travelling to see each other

How long have you been together op?

I wouldn’t do it.

If you can't be bothered to travel to see each other then yeah split up. You have a 5 year old focus on them. You'll loose your benefit as he will be expected to contribute financially to the household. If he cant do that then don't move him in.

Let him go. He’s willing for you to take a financial hit but not him.

2.partner currently rents a property at £600 a month. Says he can't afford to pay me the £800 I will lose in benefits

So he can afford to give you £600? And you'll lose some for your eldest soon.

This is purely looking number wise not emotion wise

Well, you won't be getting benefits for your oldest much longer so that means less of a difference to make up. What could he afford to pay towards bills?

Perhaps if you took on a full time position nobody would have to bridge the gap.

He should be willing to pay his way in terms of living costs but to expect a like for like replacement of your benefit loss is ridiculous.

I understand exactly what he's saying I would not give up my flat to move in with someone, lose my home and security and also be worse off. I also like my own space and prefer to have my own home to go to when I want to.

Well he is paying 200 more for travel so he could give her 400 and still be making the same.

Give this relationship up. It’s not going to work out. He is trying to let you down gently by saying it’s all about the money. It’s not.

Surlwy he will be contributing to the gas, electricity, council tax, food etc... All the things he would pay for in his own home?

His 600 rent includes all his bills does it? So he doesn't currently pay energy bills, water bills, council tax etc?

If you're both going to be worse off financially then it's either worth it to be together or its not. That's something only the two of you can decide.

Personally, I'm not sufficiently romantic to take a ££ hit for love but everyone's different.

So how much has he offered to give you?

what is the cost of half your bills? He should at least be paying that.

I think it's sensible you're both considering the financial implications of this. Do you rent? Will he be contributing his share of the rent/mortgage and bills? I presume so.
I don't see why he should make up your benefits loss to be honest. As long as he contributes fairly to the household, which is pretty normal.

If you both want to make it work, you will.

You want to move him in. That makes him sound like a piece of furniture.

Does he want to move in? Because it doesn't seem as if he's that keen.

Why can't you work full time?

I'm assuming you're currently very part time if you get £800 a pint h benefits

If you get a full time job then you would lose most of your benefits anyway. Now that your youngest child is five it might be in your best interests to work full time, especially when you think about your pension etc.

Whether or not you want to continue to see this boyfriend is another question. From what you've said he doesn't sound all that keen.

Unfortunately life very much is about the money, especially if you don't have lots of it to cover the essentials.
@Khrysteen have you thought about taking on extra hours at work to cover the loss? It shouldn't all be coming from him.
Personally I wouldn't want to move in with a single parent that expects me to cover an £800 loss in benefits.
Perhaps you need to look at the bills and see realistically how much he would need to contribute to the household without covering the costs for your children.

Even if his rent is 600, his bills would amount to 200 or over - I highly doubt his council tax is under £80 a month (accounting for single persons discount) then gas and electric will be at least 80, water 20, Internet etc..

What I'm trying to say is, he will be paying well over 800 to upkeep his currently living situation - so why is he lying to you and saying he can only afford 600?

What are the benefits made up of? Because presumably anything related to your older child will stop soon anyway.

Sorry - duh - just realised he could be in a situation with bills included!

No, you are both going to lose financially if you move in together. So, sorry, this is not going to work.

This is a no win you don’t want to lose benefits

but he’s putting himself in a terrible situation moving in with you he pay more has zero security and could end up homeless if you fall out . You just reapply for benefits where’s he’s well and truly on his arse

If you both really wanted to live together the financial situation would be secondary. If neither of you want to take a hit then I can't see how it would work. For a start it would niggle both of you and probably cause arguments. Don't do it.