How can my new partner move in

[Khrysteen]

Long story il try to keep it short.
Single parent to 2 boys age 5 and 18.work part time own my own home outright no mortgage payments.
Want to move my partner in within next year. Problems
1.i lose any benefits I currently get which adds up to almost £800 a month.
2.partner currently rents a property at £600 a month. Says he can't afford to pay me the £800 I will lose in benefits.
He will also have to travel further to work every work costing about an extra £200 a month fuel. He said he can't justify giving up his security, ie his rented property, to be worse of both financially and security wise.

I do understand what he is saying. I just don't see anyway we can make it work. Although we both want to.
Any advice or anyone in same situation.
If we can't find a way to live together we break up as the distance between us is too big to keep travelling to see each other

Because he is not the DWP?

A proper break down of bill sharing is needed, not a 'I will lose x so you pay me that'

Could you work more hours now you have more support around the house?

Yes this is absolutely the fairest way to do it. He's not a replacement for your benefits

Obviously he should be paying half the bills, as a number of posters have said. I don't know the fairest way to deal with the fact you've paid off the mortgage, though.

I'm also surprised you can get benefits when you own your house outright, but I realise that's not the point of this thread.

Disagree. There's an 18 year old there who presumably eats A LOT of food.

@benjoin

Really?

My 18 year olds ate a normal amount of food.

Together almost 2years

@benjoin I wasn't thinking of food coming under the bills category, I meant utilities, council tax etc.

I only get benefits for the youngest. The eldest works full time as an apprentice and contributes to the house.

If I was to work ft to bridge the gap we'd actually be out even more money as I'd have to pay for childcare

If we can't find a way to live together we break up as the distance between us is too big to keep travelling to see each other

How well do your kids even know him? How well do you really know him?

Still 2 adults and a 5 year old and he's just 1 adult. So why should he be paying for HALF the water bill, HALF The food.

Try to keep things fair for a bit OP until marriage is on the cards. Make it clear you're not just after his money

I wouldn't move in with anyone ever in your position. You are really lucky to be a lone parent with an affordable mortgage (as am I). Don't risk it.

Would you lose your single person council tax discount, not sure as you have another adult in the house. I also thinh 2 years is too soon,. How do your Dcs feel about him moving in,

Ah ok the eldest can be taken out if the financial conversation then

Won't you lose your benefits once the eldest leaves education? As he'd be an adult living with you

@benjoin

In understand that. My comment was about your assumption that all 18 year olds eat a LOT of food

Omg thank you all so much for your replies. I wasn't expecting so many. You have all got very valid points and I will think a lot about each one.
I currently work 20hrs a week which allows me to not have to pay childcare. I get child tax credit and working tax credit plus free school meals
My 18 year old works and contributes to the house.
My partner does want tomove in to its just we are having trouble working out the logistics.
Here in Northern Ireland his council tax is included in his rent if £600 we don't have water charges so he really only pays out for broadband and gas and electricity and food for a single person on top of his £600 rent.
I suppose I just hoped someone here might have had a magical idea for us to make it work lol but I can see it's going to be difficult on both sides and requires a lot more thought

Thank u all again

Have you done a check with the entitled to website to see what will happen when you move to UC? It won't be long before that happens and you will be expected to work full time.

@charliefair yeah Im moving to u next month. But here in ni we have transitional protection which means by moving over to u we won't be made worse off, the government will make up any lost payments.
If we live together I won't be entitled to any u at all so working ft or pt won't really matter

TP is only for a year though - you need to be looking longer term. Working on a moving in solution without thinking past 13 months when your situation will be changing makes little sense.

Thanks @charliefair il def look further into this

It sounds like it's cheaper for both of you to run two households than one together so why doesn't he just spend most nights with you but keep
His own home going?

It sounds like it's cheaper for both of you to run two households than one together so why doesn't he just spend most nights with you but keep
His own home going?

I'm not sure what the rules are around this and WTC / CTC

I'd find out first

Why live together ? I've been living apart from my long term bf and it's fantastic. We see each other at weekends and have fun but during the week we are apart and focus on work, kids etc

I said presumably but yes you're right many don't