Why do ex wives reach old 15 years post divorce

[Yoe]

Just want to understand this . Husband divorced 1st wife 15 yrs ago we , no kids she filed for divorce no infidelity .

we have been married for 11 years together 14 years we met while he was separated.

Out of the blue she messaged him on FB messenger ( they’re not friends on FB) a simple message asking how he was . He didn’t reply

what do you think her reason for messaging was I told my husband I think she wants to apologise as she was really mean to him during their separation basically he wasn’t good enough , didn’t earn enough, educated enough … he wasn’t enough ….. well in the 15 years he became his best self and achieved all he has his own way and in his own time . Anyone any thoughts what do you think made her reach out

She could be terminally ill. Perhaps she just wants to say Goodbye.

Or she’s opened a bottle of wine and has heard a song that’s taken her back.

Probably become single.. fed up.. can't get a date.. lonely.
🤷‍♀️

I'd say she's probably bored/drunk on a Saturday night. If I was him I'd leave it, if it's important she'll try again

Feeling nostalgic maybe

I would just think she's bored and messaging people she used to know.

So not multiple ex-wives, just one?

Boredom, nostalgia, mild curiosity?

Reading way too much into this.

Are you secure in the relationship?

As a rule ex wives don't. It's not s thing It just so happens your husbands has.

Urgh. The misogyny on this thread.

‘Single’
’lonely’
’bored’
’pissed’

maybe - just maybe - she’s just interested in seeing how the life of a person she used to be married to has panned out. Nothing more, nothing less (and you’ve only his word for the ‘she was a cow’ narrative).

I’m very secure it’s not about me …the question I asked was thoughts on reasons for reaching out … no one’s reading too much into it .. it is what it is … but nice to get other perspectives .. nothing more than that

You know it could be just that … normally when so much time has passed with no ties and totally out of the blue I really felt she was reaching out to say sorry …. And that was it

No one could possibly know the reason she has reached out - it could literally be for any number of reasons. Maybe a mutual friend has passed away; maybe she’s found something that belongs to him when she was moving house; maybe she’s just remembered he owes her £10; maybe she just wanted to see how he is etc etc. if he doesn’t respond to her you will never know 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yea that would be the advise I would give also, sometimes things are better left

I find it odd that two people can have that level of commitment to each other and then..nothing

Bait and switch. Thought you were actually talking about OLD and wondered if the 15 years was a general statistic.

I know relationships break all the time and when they do everything breaks down . Normal to some odd to others it all depends on experience and life stories

That never crossed my mind tbh

Most probably she has suddenly seen him in "people you may know" Facebook tab. If you would see your high school sweetheart in there - wouldn't you be curious?

Maybe she is in a better place and hoping that a person she cared about is also happier. Maybe she saw something that reminded her of him and it made her smile and she realized it would be a good way to reach out to an old friend and share a quick chat over a shared memory.

I try every day to be happier and mentally healthier. I often fail, but I try. I give most people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are trying to do the same, but the way people post, I think they want to wallow in the agony.

Curious yes …. But reach out … no

What perspectives though?

All we can do is speculate.

It could be for all kinds of reasons, to let him know someone he was close to had died/terminally ill, she's unwilling and wants to make peace with her life, or she's bored and thought why not? No harm in replying that he is well as are you.

It’s normal to be curious about people from our past but I find it odd she has taken the next step and contacted him. I personally wouldn’t contact my ex who I knew was married, I’d find it disrespectful toward his wife.

Maybe one of her parents passed away and they were fond of him or left something in a will.

If you’re so secure there’s no harm in him asking if she’s OK?

She was important to him previously. I see no harm.