Dh has text me from a different number.

[Sickandanxious]

Please be kind. I'm sitting here feeling sick to my stomach and feeling panicky. I'm hoping that I'm mistaken and that there is an explanation for this happening.
I sent DH 2 texts one after the other with different questions. He answered the second question but not the first which I thought strange but maybe he was just busy with work.
Later he text me with a question to which I answered. A bit later just as I got home another text appeared in answer to the first question I asked.
This is what's weird. The text was from a different number!
He has recently bought new phone and changed his provider but has kept his number so how is this possible?
I didn't mention keeping my cards close to my chest MN style and hoped it would all become apparent and that it's something to do with his new phone etc.
I've had to look on his phone, the second msg he sent me isn't there so I think he may have royally fucked up and maybe he has a second sim or phone?
I know I shouldn't have looked on his phone but it's making me feel so ill.
What an I do to check? If I put the number in my phone and there's a WhatsApp attached will a photo come up and will my number then show on that phone?
I'm not at all tech savvy.
I don't think I'll sleep tonight.

imo wondering about technology, sims etc is just a massive waste of time and energy

just be honest, brave and confront him directly: dh, i am anxious about our relationship for x,y,z reasons, this new number issue is adding to that. how do you feel about it ? how do we get through this together ?

his general reaction and willingness to work with you on it will tell you much more about the future of your relationship than a mumsnet thread or a google search on double sims

Op, this is an occasional glitch after getting new SIM but keeping your number!
I know cos I used to work for Vodafone.
What happens is caused the back end of the software when the number is ported to the new SIM someone will have not updated the message centre number the sits behind his account. So you'll be able to call him, he can send and receive messages but some of his messages will appear as though from a different number.

You're right. I think I've read too many sad situations on mn! I've just googled double sims and he has a phone that has dual and I also now know how to switch between them. My next step rightly or wrongly is to try reading both. The name is someone he works with. Only knew her first name but he's also listed her surname. Is it possible to put someone in favourites by mistake??

OK. That's reassuring at least. Thanks.

Every single time I've bought a new phone and asked for my decades long standing number to be transferred to the new phone, it's taken several days until it's been sorted, the last one very recently took a week and I had to mess around with the settings on the actual device for a good couple of weeks afterwards to make sure that my texts and phonecalls were coming from MY number.
Could this be the case?

Yes because the number getting changed over doesn't happen instantly. On Weds, his old account would have been closed, but it can still take a day or so for the new SIM to change to the old number and for all the apps and services to catch up. If the number you got the second text from is the original number on the SIM, you will know by phoning it because it will say the number doesn't exist.

I think this is a transition thing @Sickandanxious

But why do you not trust your husband? That is the issue.

I think some phones allow you to put two SIM cards in but you switch which one you are using. So I would be suspicious.... Based on the fact you said he asked if he could be with someone else.

When I ported my phone number text messages would sometimes appear from the sim's original number. It really confused loads of my friends.

I also realised recently I have a random bloke from work (who I've probably messaged once ever) in my favourites. Don't know how you even make someone a favourite. I think I just hit something by mistake.

I'd say most likely all innocent but nothing to be gained from hiding it/ worrying. Just ask him about the number thing and see what his response is. Maybe don't say you scooped through who his favourites are but if there's a time he asks you to do something on his phone (i often read partner messages that come through if hes driving for example) you could ask then if it's bothering you.

Surely if he got confused and replied to you from a 2nd phone he would have to put in your number. If I was using a burner I wouldn’t have my partners number programmed in.

Agree with PP, dual sim phone is likely.

Something similar has happened both with me and my Mum. If it’s a new iPhone and he has changed it to his old number, you have to go into settings>phone>my number and physically put your number in as it has the one it came with stored.

I had to ring O2 a couple of years ago to find this out, then passed the info to my Mum a couple of months ago.

You can have a non physical sim as a second sim.

You need to check the phone to see if it has dual sims.

But I wouldn’t tell him or ask him yet. Sadly cheaters are liars and they think nothing about risking their spouses lives and fertility with stds.

The paperwork from when he got the new phone will detail the number that came with the phone. Can you find the paperwork (possibly on email)? Does that number match the one he text you from?

I'll check that out. Thanks

If you've been able to access his phone once, can u do it again and look if there's any untoward messages between them? I know snooping isn't great but sometimes, needs must.

Is it an iPhone 14 or 15? They have e-sim/dual sim capability.

Why can’t you just have a conversation about the two numbers and gauge his reaction? You seem to be imagining the absolute worst without actually exploring much.

Well, I suspect it’s an affair.

Does he work away a lot?

This doesn’t sound right.

I am not very tech savvy and I have had various random people in my favourites. Not even people who I have phoned very often. I don't know how they got there and why my friends and family aren't on this list.

When I got a new phone some friends (not all) said that it was showing a new number at times. This eventually stopped. I wouldn’t worry.

I didn't know about the porting number mix ups before this thread but it seems it's pretty common, what makes you suspect an affair?

Do you think a man with a second phone knows he has a question from his wife, picks up the wrong phone and rather than looking for the text thread starts a new conversation with the answer and at no point realises what he's doing?

Ive had people favourited on my phone that I had no intention on favouriting. It was essentially a "butt favourite". Didnt even realise until much later, and undid it as soon as I realised.

I consider myself fairly techy, and its the kind of thing that has happened to me, so maybe it isnt that suspicious.

I would go with the tech glitch scenario. Because who, in their right mind, goes to a different phone, hours later, to answer a text they dont have in front of them?
I find it much more plausible that he replied straight away, the number hadnt changed yet, but was in the process of, it got stuck in the ether of text messages, then the number ported, he replied to the others, and, eventually, later, the first message was processed and sent out.

I also dont understand why you wouldnt just ASK him why you got a message from a different number. Who cares if he knows youre "on to him"? Surely thats the point, if anything nefarious is going on???? You want him to know you know something is up! And confront him!

The different number thing could be completely innocent as I also had that happen to me when I got a new phone and ported my number but my texts were appearing to send from a different number. It was something to do with iMessage settings and I just needed to select my number as being the default.

I think you’re just going to have to ask him about the different number.

Try taking both numbers with you to a phone booth.
Phone the old number and say.
"Sir, would you be interested in solar panels fitted to you roof?You could register your interent." Then break off ..
Immediately phone the new number and say the exact same speel.
You will find out if your DH is answering to two numbers.
You might be able to see later on his phone whether both calls made are displayed.

Do the same thing two or so weeks later from the phone booth.
Only one number should be answered by DH if the tech was the problem.

OP, transitions to a new mobile provider very rarely have issues receiving texts from two different numbers. There is a transfer with a new SIM, usually taking 10 mins to 1/2 hour), for the number to be fully operational with the new provider.

I'm 63 and I've changed many providers in my life, frankly I've never heard or experienced sending a text message after a change of providers, that will be received under 2 different phone numbers.

You say that you had a rocky patch in your marriage, your DH asked you if he could see someone else and you said no.

Sometimes if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

Keep your eyes open.