Partner keeps leaving me

[CoralSwan]

Hi…
I have been with my partner for 2 years. I have counted that in those 2 years, he has packed his things and left me 30 times. I can’t even tell you what most of these things were about. What I can tell you is, I don’t lie to him, I’ve never cheated on him or betrayed him. I like to think I’m a nice girlfriend. I like to cook, I’m introverted, don’t go out a lot, love planning to do things with him, I don’t have many guy friends and the ones I do have are gay…I sit and think to myself sometimes, what is wrong with me?! I’m not perfect just like any other person, but I do my best as a partner and haven’t committed any atrocities against him. Why does he keep doing this?!

So you speak your speech and he gives the appearance of listening.

And continues to do what he always does.

He is playing you.

Don’t have him back ….

He’s only doing it because you tolerate it and continue the relationship. Time to end things so you can have a respectful relationship

End it with him. That’s utterly insane and ckearly his problem not yours.

Don’t put up with him - you deserve so much better!

Does he come back, or do you chase him?

He is not nice and he doesn't sound normal.

Get rid of him ASAP.

You could of equally typed " I have taken my BF back 30 times". Now how stupid does that sound? At what point did you let him move in?

This is like the easiest ever question in an exam. He pretends to leave in order to manipulate you. You play the game and so he does it again.

Next time he packs his bags, block his number and change the locks.

He leaves you everytime you do something that displeases him. That way you learn your lesson, he gets his own way. . And you don't do it again.

Block him, don't take him back/listen to him. Get some counselling.

So he does this more than once a month? Jesus. Get rid!!!! Be the one to end it. Except stick to it, unlike him.

No just boot him out now. No need to wait

I don't believe it. Here's what you need to say next time:

"Keep off of my property or I'll call the police for harassment / trespassing."

Then follow through with the threat.

Anything short of that is being a doormat, not standing up for yourself.

The trash takes itself out… change the locks and enjoy life … why are you allowing someone to treat you like this….

He is leaving as a means of control to get you to beg and plead and be needy to him. Give yourself a present and don’t take him back you deserve to be treated so much better

Perhaps if you were a better cook, and wore pretty aprons and kept a nicer house, he wouldn’t behave like this.

Fucks sake.

You can’t change this dickhead. You can only change how you react to him. Start with changing the locks. You want the Happy Ever After? Getting rid of this oxygen thief gets you a big step closer to that becoming a possibility. Stay with this loser and you will always feel shit.

Good grief… he keeps throwing tantrums and you let him. Next time, get the rest of his shit, pack it into bin bags and text him to come and get it. Leave them outside and make sure you have people at your house so he doesn’t act up. Get locks changed.

He’s not going to change. Not ever. This is who he is. He’s not, and will never be, the man you thought he was or the man you’d like him to be. So you have two choices - put up with it for as long as he’ll have fun with you doing it - until he gets bored and dumps you t repeat the cycle on some other poor woman, or you can take back control and be the one in charge . You can bin him any time you want.

ExH used to threaten to leave and say he'll end up under a bridge somewhere...it used to work on me...but it's all BS. This guy does the opposite, he actually leaves. Common thing with both? Controlling behaviour.

Get him out, change the locks, delete him from your phone, and do something for YOU. He's really not worth it.

Because he’s mentally ill, OP. And if you haven’t already, the next time he does it, let him know he can’t return.

To be brutally honest if you did he would not still be with you, your front door is not a revolving one so stop letting him in, why do you need to be told this?

What's your housing situation?

In the nicest possible way, you need to grow a backbone. He treats you this way because you allow it. For whatever reason you allow him to walk over you.

Close the door, lock and bolt it against this pathetic creton. It’s over, make it be over! And once you call time on this nonsense don’t ever, ever allow anyone to treat you this way again.

He leaves you roughly every 24 days. How do you even manage that kind of turnover? It must be emotionally exhausting.

even if you were only having big fights that frequently, it would be time to end the relationship.

And what is he doing when he leaves? Quick shags with other women? Or just sulking at his mother's for a day or two?

Either way, raise your standards! Tell him to go and don't let him return. As long as you let him wipe his feet all over you then he'll keep doing so. It's ridiculous that you've allowed some little prick to continue to behave like that.

And no. You are not standing up for yourself at all if you keep letting him back.

Who cares what he’s doing as long as he is out of OP’s face?

Next time lock the fucking door behind him.

Jesus wept. Can you imagine that behaviour if you had children with him?

Tell the controlling POS you're no longer his doormat, figuratively and literally, and the fucker can stay gone.