No mums day card or acknowledging

[gonenow8]

Just that really my son been up got his breakfast as into gym and health. Gone back upstairs in room. Daughter same.
Oh gone to work which he has to but because son and daughter over 18. One is 20 and other 21 he thinks they adults so feels he shouldn't have to remind them.
Sitting in kitchen on own now drinking cup coffee and treat I bought myself.

Oh is very generous if I ask him for something and always offering stuff when out but Valentine's Day was after thought where he ordered roses diliveroo and everything just feels not much effort. Hope I don't sound like I feel sorry for myself but I do😂

More sad re two adult children today as done a lot for them and a homemade card and one picked flower would have been nice. Just someone thinking of me.

Got parents coming later so will be cooking dinner but I do all that as dad unwell.

Am I pathetic
Probably

Remind them it's Mother's Day and get them to do the cooking.

I want them to do something because they want to not because I ask.
Last few years effort for events like this has really decreased.

Hopefully, they'll come up with something later on today. Is your DF too unwell to eat out with just you and your DM? Why are you cooking on mother's day

No, you're not pathetic. They've been thoughtless. Did they even say 'Happy Mother's Day'?
Have some virtual flowers, chocolate and wine from me 💐🍫🍷

Too ill to eat out
I always cook on Mother's Day.
They won't come up with anything later. It's not about the gift even if it was just a couple of texts saying something nice, thanking me for things I do as mum etc but nothing.
My children are very different to how they were in primary school so lovely and so kind but now very focused on themselves not really interested in me as a person. Feel like no one sees me anymore. I am just mum and a housewife
Housekeeper
Feel unappreciated
Hope other mums on here have a lovely day. I have got a nice couple of bottles of bubbles too which I will have when cooking.
Not many people interested in me anymore. My oh has very busy job and always got people messaging him and that's a priority and my kids just look bored when I talk. Don't know why I'm here anymore just need to find something for me as always doing stuff for others.

I haven't even seen them.
Upstairs
Thankyou

Oh OP, I feel you. My DH has no sense of occasion. His love language is not gift giving... I'm lucky that our kids seem get the memo and sort him out now DD is older but I remember the days I just felt disappointed (made worse by people convincing me that there would be a big gesture for birthday/Christmas/anniversary etc that never came...).

You do need to tell them- this is learnt behaviour that they can unlearn. A couple of days of 'mum strike' won't hurt. Pour a wine and put your feet up- make it crystal clear that the expectation is their gift to you today is to cook the dinner and spoil you!

I have made comments before but ends on a horrible argument making me feel like the bad one feeling sorry for myself.
It's sad really but I realised as I have got older that the only one I can trust and rely on in my life is me.

Tell them. Sorry but you need to have a robust conversation with them about expectations. The minimum they have to do is get a card and a bunch of flowers on Mothers Day and your birthday and in return you look after them all year. Just tell them.

How does fathers day go?

I've just seen your update. OP, I mean this in the nicest way, you're being a matyr. You don't have to cook for them, you can take yourself out for a nice lunch, or run a bath and lock yourself in with chocolates and a book. Even better, sod off to the sun for a week and let DH and his important job ( I have an 'important job' it's not an excuse to check out of family life or be an arsehole)

They take you for granted but don't underestimate the fact that just you being there is a quiet strength and stability they probably don't even realise they need. Chin up xx

My heart breaks for you.
I am lucky my 16 year old has wished my happy mothers day and got a card.
However after al these years my husband has never once wished my happy mothers day. I sit in tears every year.
It's such a small thing to recognise that we do our best every single day for our children and yet those closest to us can't celebrate us.

My only words of advise is that once you have all eaten this evening announce very loudly that as it's mothers day and you and your mum (and mother in law if she is there too) are off to the lounge to celebrate the joy of motherhood and all the clearing away and washing up is everyone else's job.

Got flowers sent by one dc, other dc forgotten as of yet, definitely awake as messaged on another subject, away at university

Not going mention it today
I'm done
Just do what needs doing around here nod and say right things in right place but that's it. I've put so much of my emotional self into alway looking out for my oh and kids but I'm done now. Will not say anything but just be a robot. I can't be assed with them anymore. I'm going start doing me

I buy presents for their dad so he doesn't know they haven't bothered

That's why this bothers me too on his part

I get it op, it would be nice to feel a little appreciated or acknowledged for what you do for everyone. I feel a bit taken for granted aswell so can understand the feeling that on at least today someone would make you feel seen. It's not about fuss it anything just to make it feel worthwhile isn't it

You are right

Firstly once you have made dinner I would leave the dishes and tell DC “it’s Mother’s Day. I would appreciate it if you would at least tidy up.”

Take yourself for a long hot bath with a glass of something nice or head out for a walk. I wouldn’t be doing much for your (adult) DC this week if they can’t show you any appreciation!

And don't cover for them on Father's Day!

Exactly
A two line text
Something
A hug

I won't anymore as oh doesn't remind them for me

And do start prioritising you - I have, life's so much better!!! My dc get annoyed when they say they are waltzing into town at short notice and I'm busy but tough! Me time whilst I have the get up and go

Really should have a Mumsnet weekender to throw caution to the wind!

By cooking today you're just martyring yourself. Go out for the afternoon and get yourself some nice lunch.

They've been very thoughtless. Not a chance would I be cooking and going along with the plan.

I'm not sure why you're prioritising two grown adults over yourself anyway. They should be looking after themselves and you should be getting your life back, Mother's Day card or not!

I’m really sorry you are having such a rubbish day. But your refusal to mention it to your children isn’t helping (and I mean this in the kindest way). Direct communication is the most straightforward approach. Also, stop buying your husband gifts/make effort on Father’s Day. Find yourself some hobbies anything that helps you put yourself and your needs first.