No mums day card or acknowledging

[gonenow8]

Just that really my son been up got his breakfast as into gym and health. Gone back upstairs in room. Daughter same.
Oh gone to work which he has to but because son and daughter over 18. One is 20 and other 21 he thinks they adults so feels he shouldn't have to remind them.
Sitting in kitchen on own now drinking cup coffee and treat I bought myself.

Oh is very generous if I ask him for something and always offering stuff when out but Valentine's Day was after thought where he ordered roses diliveroo and everything just feels not much effort. Hope I don't sound like I feel sorry for myself but I do😂

More sad re two adult children today as done a lot for them and a homemade card and one picked flower would have been nice. Just someone thinking of me.

Got parents coming later so will be cooking dinner but I do all that as dad unwell.

Am I pathetic
Probably

This year like other years my kids made minimal effort - I got a text from them both (they both live away from home)

I saw an advert for a mother's day breakfast, which included a bucks fizz or orange juice for mums & a gift bag. I booked myself & dh on to this, it was lovely. A treat from me to me.

I decided after last year's minimal effort if I want to celebrate these occasions, I must do these things for me.

Wishing all mums a pleasant Mothers day 🪻💐

I am so sorry for you, OP. Happy Mother's Day. It's absolute shit to see so many threads here like this, and absolutely predictable.

I understand people saying "don't be a martyr! Speak up!" Which to some extent might help, but it has a similar ring as the corporate "lean in" culture - women, change your ways so people will treat you as almost equal if you remind them daily. It's exhausting. Of course not all men, not all employers, but so so many.

I feel we need something like Iceland's women's strike. Let's demand that mothers are recognised, set out minimum expectations for what loving partners need to do and speak up on each other's behalf. Let's hold the men in our lives (brothers, friends, fathers, sons) to account for their shit behaviour so their wives and mothers don't have to demand on their behalf.

UGH lets not blame in individual women for not speaking up enough or not choosing the right men, let's try to change the cultural expectation.

steps off soapbox

That sounds lovely! I hope you enjoy it. I'm going to do the same next year.

Following my post earlier, I just had to add there was a knock at the door this morning. I was ill in bed and DH went to answer it. It turned out to be a delivery driver with a huge bouquet of flowers ...delivered incorrectly and meant for the house on the next close with the same number. Talk about adding insult to injury!!

Do your DC know how you feel OP? If not you really need to tell them.
My DC have only forgotten once ( over a decade ago). I was so upset and told them how I felt. It must have worked because I have had cards / flowers/ texts / calls every year since.

See this as a fresh start and start planning lots of things for yourself - hobbies etc.

Love it

I'll join you op. Four kids all over 15. The youngest and oldest aren't here but sent cards. Middle two - both still in bed, one apparently told dh he doesn't do mothers/fathers days and the other one took me literally when I said I don't want a fuss to mean ignore the day (autism). I'm a bit pissed off tbh. I'm like a bloody cleaner /driver/ nurse anyway and clearly half of them don't give a shift.

How about taking a different approach?
What about saying to your dcs "hey! Did you not realise it's Mother's Day? You've obviously forgotten as I didn't get my breakfast in bed or any cards. How about you make it up to me with a big squishy hug and cups of tea' or text it with a smiley face if you're not up to speaking.
Enjoy the rest of the day doing something nice and order a takeaway.

same here

never even get a text

This! Don't be a martyr, OP, tell them how they've made you feel.

No DC has forgotten it's Mother's Day

It's all over any social media, there's displays in every shop.

They are choosing to ignore it because they don't believe it's something they need to do anything about.

My 2 dc and my ex made the mistake of ignoring Mother's Day when the dc were 10-12 years old. Ex didn't get anything for Father's Day that year or his birthday. Dc got a moody mother who barely did anything for them for a week.

I got 2 bunches of flowers. Chocolate and some nice messages. Ds also offered to buy me a top I liked yesterday but it was £60 so I said no---- as he hasn't got much money atm.

The sad thing is just an acknowledgement is all we need. Just a "thanks mum, love you"

OP can you make dinner and take it to your parents? Or get a takeaway over there.

I think I bought myself a massive bunch of flowers that year too, then when they asked who they were from I said me. They took the hint.

I'm in the same boat, my 3 kids elder Daughter has messaged but 2 sons who live at home, 19 yr old has gone to watch the footie not a peep of Happy mothers Day,, other 18 is still in bed ,I don't expect gifts or anything but a card between them would have been nice or even wats ap message? Didn't think I was bothered but now I'm writing this I actually feel sad.....Happy Mothers Day to all the unappreciated Mothers ❤️

It's clear you won't confront them on their thoughtless behaviour.... my advice is make yourself very busy next week. Get them to sort out their meals, washing, default to "no I'm busy" to any favour requests.... sort out meet ups with your friends and if you can afford it treat yourself.

Enjoy your get together with your mum:dad later. 🌷

I'm lucky that my two (young adults still at home) both bothered with me. But if they hadn't, I would definitely tell them how shit they'd made me feel and I think you should too! I also would back off from doing so much for them too.

You post is very sad OP.

It really is time to put yourself first now.
Don't cook for them
Don’t clean for them
Don’t do their washing
I hope they pay rent and money towards bills
Don’t buy their food

If they’re treating you a landlady rather than a mother that works both ways.
Enjoy your meal!

Sorry you are having a rubbish day and yes your adult children sound selfish. I would start to make yourself a priority. No one respects a martyr. I personally would tell them you are disappointed they don't seem to appreciate you. Stop making an effort for Father's Day. At some point you need to let your DC take responsibility for things like birthdays and Mother's Day. Do they make an effort on other occasions like birthdays or Christmas?

I got nothing either today so we are in the same boat but it still hurts that just one day it should be about you and they can't even do that.

If I were a mum to such thoughtless children I think I would forget their birthday and see how they liked it

Treat yourself to a spa day next year. Book yourself a nice meal out too. Maybe there are other equally unappreciated mums who might join you? Or just your own mum.

Hope your day got better OP. 🍷

I did that 2 years ago on my birthday. I had nothing from either of my eldest 2 but a 'Happy Birthday' from my son late in the evening. So they got the same from me. They didn't forget me last year or this so the fact they didn't bother with today is hurtful. I can see my DD has been online (fb) several times today and not a peep.

And knowing I wouldn't hear from them today I treated myself to some makeup I've been wanting for ages!

Didn't get acknowledged in my house either. But I made my DD hoover the downstairs , because it's a Mother's Day today 😭
Have not spoken with 'D'H for a week (heading for D), so wasn't expecting anything from him.

Finally heard from my DS, nothing from DD yet.