No mums day card or acknowledging

[gonenow8]

Just that really my son been up got his breakfast as into gym and health. Gone back upstairs in room. Daughter same.
Oh gone to work which he has to but because son and daughter over 18. One is 20 and other 21 he thinks they adults so feels he shouldn't have to remind them.
Sitting in kitchen on own now drinking cup coffee and treat I bought myself.

Oh is very generous if I ask him for something and always offering stuff when out but Valentine's Day was after thought where he ordered roses diliveroo and everything just feels not much effort. Hope I don't sound like I feel sorry for myself but I do😂

More sad re two adult children today as done a lot for them and a homemade card and one picked flower would have been nice. Just someone thinking of me.

Got parents coming later so will be cooking dinner but I do all that as dad unwell.

Am I pathetic
Probably

I am done now
They can get on with it themselves from now on. I'm not interested anymore.
Got my own life to get back as spent a lot of years worrying about this lot.
They can get on with it now.
Can't even be bothered to get up and make me a drink on Mother's Day they can forget it.

Thanks for all your messages

You are teaching them how to treat you even when they are young adults.

Your silence is allowing them to treat you poorly. Speak up!

stop doing it op.
Dont buy any gifts pretending to be from them.
What happens at Christmas because I would be telling your dcs they had better make alternative arrangements because you will not be doing it all.
Scale right back.
Stop doing their washing.
If they ask where something is look at them in astonishment and say ‘Well I assume it’s wherever you put it.’ Then tell them they can start and do their own washing as they don’t appreciate you when you do it.
I would be tempted not to tell them when Dinner is ready just serve up dinner for yourself, your mum and dad. Leave theirs, they are old enough to plate it up themselves.

Why not go to your parents instead and pick up some 'picnic' food or ready meals on the way so you don't have to cook or wash up. I definitely wouldn't stay home and cook for my adult children and DH.

I know how you feel. We mums are too often taken for granted. I have to get flowers, chocs and wine for DH's mum and I don't get anything. But I did get a card so I feel bad for moaning..but then the m-i-l gets the works!! So yeah, i get it. ... Here are some flowers from me..💐

Too ill to eat out
I always cook on Mother's Day.

Forgot to add, I'm also too ill to cook...currently in bed feeling sorry for myself while they've gone to the in-laws. But at least I get some peace & quiet!

Please start ‘doing me’ OP! This is the only way you can move forward. Focus on your own needs. Take yourself out for a nice lunch next week and make plans to take up a new interest/hobby just for you. Could you have one evening per week when get out of the house, leaving the other adults to sort out their own food? Perhaps next time you cook a meal for a family gathering you could get ready-made food or a takeaway if funds allow? You are not being supported or appreciated by the other adults in the household and I am angry on your behalf! However, the time has come for you to stop being a doormat, and you have made the first step in acknowledging the situation. 💐💐💐

You are right but done it before and I get blamed for starting an argument
They gaslight me

I feel the same OP. Two of the teenagers have gone off to work, no text or well wishes before they left. Other one is still lying in bed. I’m sat in bed with an ankle injury and thought I may have at least got a cup of tea this morning.

OH hasn’t even acknowledged it but I can’t complain as he has done so much for me over the past month since I’ve been partly immobile.

At that age my siblings and I didn't need reminding from our dad. My mum has always shown if she's hurt though, if we don't do something she expects (for example I'm not very affectionate so she reminded me it would be nice to have a hug on her birthday once). I know you shouldn't have to, but you possibly need to show you are hurt. That has always prompted me to try better for my mum. Until you do, nothing will change. Make clear your expectations (as I said, I know you shouldn't have to, but young adults can be in a world of their own, as we all know)

Hope your day is okay from me💐💐💐

I want them to do something because they want to not because I ask.

Thing is this kind of thoughtfulness just doesn't come from nowhere for a lot of people. If they haven't been raised to remember to do this kind of thing, to put in an effort for others, perhaps even a few cross words along the way about respectfulness when it's gone wrong or hasn't happened, some people just don't learn.

It's not too late, but you have to tell them you're upset, what it means to you, and what you'd like to see. I'm not saying every year, but if this hasn't been made clear during their younger years, it likely won't just appear. If that still doesn't make them change, then yes sadly that is a shame and I would be upset too.

They are too selfish to get it
I cba now but thanks for advice support

I always taught them to think of others but very selfish self centred now
Don't know what I did wrong?

Hope you better soon💐💐

What's wrong with starting an argument? They're lucky you haven't declared war in that house!

Not even a blooming card here. I raised him on my own. If he didn’t have such good memory for other things, I would be more forgiving.

I am here thinking if I should sell the house and go travelling instead of wondering how I can increase my income so I can help him pay for the bloody masters he wants to do.

My ds 17 wished me a happy Mother’s Day but didn’t get me card. Feel a bit sad that he didn’t bother - last week was my birthday and they really went to town so I told them no presents or flowers for Mother’s Day just a card so that’s all he needed to get.
Eldest ds22 is yet to come home from his girlfriends ….no text but I do know he’s got me a card at least.
Im cooking for my mum and dad today. Ds17 perked the potatoes so thats something!

I think you should say something. I do to my teenager. I got myself a small present in Asda yesterday and I said, You can get me that for Mother’s Day and I will be making sure she transfers me the money later. She made me a card too. She said she will make me a coffee later. I don’t think she is putting herself out mind but if ignored it completely, she would too.

Feel exactly the same OP🌷🌷🌸🌷

You need to put in some boundaries. Stop doing things for your adult children -
Maybe they don't appreciate you doing things as they've never had to do it for themself and they've take it for granted! So let them miss you.

Start doing more of your own thing , take up a hobby and meet new people- so you're sometimes friend - not just a wife and mother.

When we were growing up Mother's Day was really a special day for mum
Well I hope it was from my memory but my kids have become very selfish
I'm not sure I like them that much these days
I love them but don't particularly like them if that makes sense

I would get up and go out and treat yourself to nice lunch and not even tell them you're going. They'll notice you're gone if they're looking for something. Prob just at that awkward age but still acknowledgement would be nice!

I'm going to
I think today is final straw as always making excuses in my head for them