Hi - short story, my partner has lied to me so many times about money. He got a CCJ in September, I asked him to leave for a week or so. Eventually I decided to give him one more chance. I paid it off (£7k) and I arranged to have it removed from his record. All of his bills were in arrears, even our family cars had no insurance or tax and I sorted everything out. Paid them up and set up direct debits. We have been using YNAB, and I thought it was working well. Everything was there in black and white and I could see all the bills were being paid on time.
Friday evening just before we were about to leave for a weekend away in our camper I found an unopened letter, folded and hidden under the bed. It was for a £60 bill that had been unpaid and passed to a debt collection agency. I told him to leave alone. It is Sunday morning and I haven't heard from him.
I have found another letter in the post box today from Barclays with another missed payment of just £5. For reference he earns almost £60k and me just over. We aren't short of money. I bought our first property myself last year as he is unable to get a mortgage. I supported myself over mat leave and have paid so much money to bail him out, I now have some debt myself. I wasn't too worried as we had a plan to be totally debt free (including his huge debts) in just under two years. I can afford the bills myself but I am so scared of being a single mother to our 18th month old.
I guess I just need advice on
- What to do now. I probably said I didn't want to speak to him before he left, in the heat of the moment, but I am so hurt he's not bothered to contact me.
- How to go about co-parenting. Do I let him stay in the spare room? He has no savings and no where to go. He can use my motor home but it's not a long term solution.
- Advice on How to be a single parent. I met up with friends yesterday but most of my close friends do not live near by and I just don't know what to do with my son today. I feel so lonely, everyone is celebrating Mother's Day with their own families and I just feel so alone. (My mum/family live several hours away)
Thank you for reading this long post if you got this far. Please be gentle with me, I know I should have run a mile away years ago. I am feeling very silly and like a huge failure.
TIA X