I think I'm in love with another man

[Daisiesandroses]

Been with my partner 8 years. For a while now I've had the feeling that it's just not right but stuck at it.

Another man has come into my life. At the moment we are very good friends. He is single but has started seeing someone. I think I'm in love with him but I don't really know how I feel in all honesty. I don't know if he has feeling towards me but some of his actions and words suggests he might.

My poor DP. He has done nothing wrong. He's lovely. I just don't think I love him anymore. I'm so confused.

We have one DD and own our house together. I'm scared of leaving. He offers me so much security and he really does love me. I feel so guilty.

Who has been in this situation? What did you do? What would you do if it was you?

With muddled feelings like this, I suggest you need time on your own. Time alone apart from anyone else to work out quite definitely what you would like going forward. The word ‘think’ shouldn’t enter your consciousness.

I've been in this situation minus the kids but we lived together. 6 years, I fell out of love. He didn't do nothing wrong but he didn't do anything right, no effort, didn't spend time together, spend all night on his games for years. Didn't want to get married. It broke me in the end & I fell in love with someone else and decided to leave but I should have done it years before but I wasn't brave enough. Me & DH are now very happily married and been together 2 years

Don't leave your partner because of this man. For one thing you've no idea if he wants a relationship with you. A flirty friendship to boost the ego is a very different thing to wanting a happy ever after with you. Only leave your partner if your preference is to be alone. Because odds on that's the position you'll be in. Obviously with the freedom to try to meet someone else, but that can be easier said than done.

This is what he was like until recently when I told him how I was feeling. He's now started putting in a lot more effort and doing everything I wish he'd done the entire time. The problem is, my feelings for him have already changed and it's hard to just get them back. Feels like it's happening a little too late

You met your friend "initially" at work? Does that mean you're now friends outside of work? I'll draw no conclusions cos I don't know.

You say you both share loads of mutual interests, chat daily and "we get each other". You're taking an unhealthy interest in your friend's relationship status. Meanwhile your hubs is only working harder to prove himself worthy.

I take it you've always found this guy attractive and have welcomed his friendship into your life? Again, if wrong correct it. Just reading between the lines..

You're possibly in love..better to leave it there I think! Please get away somewhere with your other half and have a serious talk about where you're head is. Out of the house. Difficult yeah, but you're married to the guy and he's probably aware something is off.

If you're guilty it's possible you're engaged in an emotional affair dressed up as friendship and telling yourself otherwise. Don't destroy what you've built together. You've already got a good man in your corner who's got your back.

Just my tuppence worth, you know the answers.
Take care

How long ago did you tell him how you felt and he started putting in more effort? Was that conversation after you met the new man? Has the new man indicated to you that he’s interested in you too or is it one sided? It’s very risky leaving a relationship for someone else, I agree that if you want to leave the relationship anyway you need to separate it out from the thing with this new man. Trust me it’s really hard only seeing a young child for half the time, I don’t know how I’d feel doing that knowing it was my choice. But if you’re really unhappy not suggesting you stay in an unhappy relationship, but if it only unhappy since this new man came on the scene or have you always been unhappy? If the latter than I do think you need to consider leaving, but not just for the new guy.