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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Horrible woman in Zoom group

103 replies

ShrubRose · 27/02/2024 15:25

I'm in a twice-weekly Zoom group with 6 other women. Most of them are pleasant, but one seems to hate me. She interrupts, contradicts and tries very hard to undermine me. I try to mute her, and when I do hear her say something awful, I just smooth it over. I find it triggering because of early experiences, and yesterday I was very troubled by it - I was telling a story and she just burst in loudly and interrupted me. I simply continued speaking and didn't respond to her, but I couldn't throw it off. I felt bad about it all day.
I don't want to leave the group because I don't have that many friends in the area and a lot of useful information is exchanged. Is there a way to deal with this? TIA.

OP posts:
shearwater2 · 28/02/2024 15:28

Fraaahnces · 28/02/2024 14:32

“Sorry Sandra. I had you on mute so I couldn’t hear you interrupting me. Again.”

Love this 👏

Original poster
ShrubRose · 28/02/2024 15:57

Wonderful advice @DuckbilledSplatterPuff ! Many thanks.
All of your post is extremely helpful, and I particularly love "Goodness. What a thing to say!" Can't wait to deploy it!

"The one I found particularly useful with a mean relative was to exclaim
"Goodness. What a thing to say!" Easy to remember. I didn't have to answer them and it drew attention to them instead of me and it was hard for them to continue. Worked like a charm."

OP posts:
Original poster
ShrubRose · 28/02/2024 16:08

potato57 · 27/02/2024 21:44

None of these people are your friends, because if they were they'd talk to her about it and tell her to tone it down, or at least ask you privately if you were okay. So assuming you're not overreacting to innocent questions, and it doesn't sound like you are, I'd step away from all of it to be honest.

I'd stick to meeting them in person and maybe choose one person to catch up with and ask what was being discussed etc., or stick to something text-based like whatsapp so you can roll your eyes and ignore.

There must be other ways you can make friends in your area too, have you tried searching for Meetups or Eventbrite events

Yes, you're absolutely right @potato57 , they're not friends. They're acquaintances in a Zoom group. Very good idea to look for new ways to meet people who might become real friends.

OP posts:
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