Would a bit quirky put you off old?

[damnedwhatever]

Been chatting to a guy who actually seems quite emotionally intelligent. Seems funny . Nice . Pleasant , plays amazing guitar. Sends me voicemails daily and little guitar compositions based on what I like

He has long hair . Wears nail varnish and occasionally a bit of eye make up.

My friends are really taking the piss but I really like him ! We're meeting for a date soon

He loves doodling on the guitar and he's really good , I sing ( badly !) but he's like ooooo let's have a singalong and I'll play guitar! He's so enthusiastic and seems so nice ! He's encouraging. I've not sung in front of anyone since I was about 10! I used to sing a lot and play piano .I was shut down . My ex used to take the piss and I stopped playing and singing .

Im not really conventional. He seems like me . Our politics align , both quite liberal , we both love music even if not the same music , he asks me everyday for recommendations, im sending him REM , cult , maniics, Ryan adams , pixies etc. we agree on films , tv, im really optimistic! But everyone is taking the piss because he has long hair and is a bit different.

Am I being an idiot here ? He's so honest and there's absolutely no game playing. I like that . We spend ages chatting daily and 2 hour phone calls . I think he's nice . I don't care if he has long hair and wears make up 😂

Why can't people just be ? I want to meet him .

Op, you sound smitten with this guy :) ignore your friends they are being silly and shallow. I'm so glad your keeping the date hope it goes well and this is the start of something special for you 💗

Your friends aren't the ones dating him, you are. He sounds a lot more fun than a man in a suit.

I just hope, when you meet, there is chemistry.

I had a great online friendship with a man, same sense of humour, same taste in books and music and travel - but alas, when we met, he was like a completely different person. He was nice enough, but there just wasn't anything special there at all. I think I'd built him up to be someone extraordinary and he just wasn't. He must have felt the same way because we never contacted each other again after our agonisingly dull lunch date. Such a shame.

Fingers crossed the sparks will fly for you!!

It can work. DH and I met via OLD, instant spark, long phone calls every night and emails back and forth every day. It was the same in person and we've been together 24 years this year. Obviously things mellow and get less intense with time, I'm just making the point that some relationships started in this way do work out.

What are you waiting for?!

(And that comes from a straight-laced old mum).

Your happiness is paramount, not your friends!!

He sounds interesting! I’d give it a go, if only to see if he was actually interesting or just one of those posers that think they are.

Ignore your friends.

OP if you can't meet in person for a few weeks, how about a video call? The goes some way to knowing if there is chemistry.

The main red flag for me would be why haven’t you met yet, and how would he react if after meeting you didn’t want to take things further - romantically or platonically?

You sound very invested, so I hope it all works out for you. I’d try and arrange a meet up sooner rather than later so it’s easier to cut your losses if needed.

We're meeting next Saturday. And if it's not what we want I'm fine - I've been single almost 5 years and I'm totally fine with that . I really am happy as I am . I see dating as an enhancement, not a goal . I have a good social circle , my dog , and I really do like my own company. So for me there's nothing to lose ! If we get on fab . If not - I'm sure we'll remain in touch . We have lots we chat about - music , film , his hair 😂. I'm fine either way .

He sounds fab ! I am thinking of Tim Minchin with the eyeliner. What on earth is wrong with long hair or eyeliner?
I hope you have a wonderful date OP.

But will he be fine? That’s what I’d be more worried about tbh!

And you can’t say you know him well enough that he won’t be a weirdo over it. I suppose that’s always a risk with online dating although feels even more risky when someone has all the reason to feel invested and therefore more put out if it doesn’t work.

He sounds bloody lovely 😍

He doesn't seem the weirdo type . No stalker vibes .

It's my birthday today and he sent me a rendition of happy birthday 😂. Punky . I thought that was nice .

@damnedwhatever he sounds similar to my new boyfriend. He also looks like Sam Ryder, quite unconventional.

Anyway he's a bit eccentric but he's great! Treats me very very well. Anyway I just wanted to comment because I have no idea what my friends will make of him but I know how I feel. Go with your gut.

Happy birthday. Let all know how the date goes

I'm genuinely confused about what your friends are taking the piss about? Having long hair and wearing nail varnish is surely not that 'out there'? Is it?!

Not in my world it isn't. Maybe the OP socialises with accountants and bankers and insurance underwriters (although I know a fair few of them who rock a quirky off duty look tbh)

Happy birthday 🥳
Hope you have a wonderful date.

Still on for tomorrow?

Any update OP?!

@damnedwhatever yes did you go on the date?

@damnedwhatever

I am guessing ' next saturday ' was last night ? and not the prev sat ?

so...

did you meet him ???

Please don't be another one that doesn't come back!

Listen , I was in love with Marc Bolan for years ! I love a man who is quirky and in touch with his feminine side .

don’t miss out because of what others think . Your life , your choice .

Looking forward to hearing about your date (if you come back)

Don't let quirky put you off, the best people are often the quirky ones :)