Would a bit quirky put you off old?

[damnedwhatever]

Been chatting to a guy who actually seems quite emotionally intelligent. Seems funny . Nice . Pleasant , plays amazing guitar. Sends me voicemails daily and little guitar compositions based on what I like

He has long hair . Wears nail varnish and occasionally a bit of eye make up.

My friends are really taking the piss but I really like him ! We're meeting for a date soon

He loves doodling on the guitar and he's really good , I sing ( badly !) but he's like ooooo let's have a singalong and I'll play guitar! He's so enthusiastic and seems so nice ! He's encouraging. I've not sung in front of anyone since I was about 10! I used to sing a lot and play piano .I was shut down . My ex used to take the piss and I stopped playing and singing .

Im not really conventional. He seems like me . Our politics align , both quite liberal , we both love music even if not the same music , he asks me everyday for recommendations, im sending him REM , cult , maniics, Ryan adams , pixies etc. we agree on films , tv, im really optimistic! But everyone is taking the piss because he has long hair and is a bit different.

Am I being an idiot here ? He's so honest and there's absolutely no game playing. I like that . We spend ages chatting daily and 2 hour phone calls . I think he's nice . I don't care if he has long hair and wears make up 😂

Why can't people just be ? I want to meet him .

I genuinely hope you have a lovely time, you both sound thoroughly smashing!
Have fun and enjoy!

I love this thread

If he makes you happy that's what matters .. back in the day (a long way back) DH wore eyeliner and had long hair.

I like quirky, quirky is fun

Your friends aren’t kind to laugh at him. My spidey senses are going off a bit though - is he ND? Because this level of intensity suggests to me you have become his ‘special interest’ - which feels great! Until you move in together, and the project of dating you is complete, so he becomes obsessively interested in something else and basically ignores you forever more. I’d just keep an eye out for this dynamic. Hopefully it won’t happen!

But find out a bit more about his relationship history. Has he ever lived with anyone? How have previous relationships ended?

He sounds lovely. Keep us updated

I have friends who also react to this about guys I date…makes me so perplexed as I look at their husbands and think ‘and YOU really have the cheek to criticise the looks etc of a guy IM dating?!’ 🤣

My first thought was whether he had a job. If so, go for it!

Go for it - you sound like you’ve got a real connection there and providing his quirkiness doesn’t turn out to be a euphemism for ‘I’m mad, me’ (I’ve had one of those!) hopefully the date will go really well!

He sounds lovely! Hope the date goes well.

Life would be boring as shit if we all liked the same things! Go and see how you get on. You have nothing to lose and your friends need to remember that it’s you dating him, not them!

This thread is making me really happy to read. He sounds great and so do you. Love that you are really gelling as people, the no sex talk is a really good sign. I'd say as a minimum you've found a great friend here, maybe more.
Quirky people are the 👌

I don't want to rain on your parade but it seems over the top for someone you've never even met. Surely the 2 hour phone calls and constant messages are for after you've met in person and established that you fancy each other and have a connection.

I don't understand why you've let yourself get so invested before you've met him.

I hope I'm just being a miserable bugger and I'm completely wrong.

I’m getting the same feeling, @Chipandcheese - but also hope we’re wrong.

Oh I’m really keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞 he sounds lovely so I hope reality matches the expectation.

He sounds really great OP. I hope it all works out for you and you have a lovely time on your date. Your friends however sound really mean and judgy and I'd be telling them so.

And for all the MN 'he's probably neurodiverse' experts, give it a fucking rest! Not every interesting person is autistic. A lot of online dating happens like this, you're trying to build a rapport and click with someone you've not met yet. It's exactly how it was with my husband, who I also met online. We spoke on the phone every evening for weeks before our first date. And there's not a whiff of neurodiversity about him! He was just a nice man who liked talking to me!

@blooblom fair enough, but most of us are in very long-term relationships with autistic partners and are noticing things in others’ relationships we wish someone had pointed out to us in the honeymoon period of our own. Everyone brings their own experience to their perspectives, just as you’re bringing yours.

Def do meet him - regardless of friends - but try not to be so invested and attached until you’ve spent time together .

There's nothing wrong with long hair. Your friends are boring snooty judgy wudgies.

Can I just say I love your taste in music!

I also think your friends sound dull and could use a bit more personality as opposed to dragging others.

Ask yourself, would you rather be someone who enjoys life without harming anyone, being happy to do your own thing or someone who lives without the enjoyment potential they have because a "friend" might skit?

I do also recognise other posters concerns and that they're coming from a good place, I say listen to their experiences and concerns - I'd also happily give this man the opportunity to get to know him better, he might be hard work, he might just be unapologetically enthusiastic, without getting to know him you're not going to know and you've had enough advice there to know if you get weird vibes to just not get involved romantically. But I don't think you'll lose anything testing the waters.

I am, in my wee romantic heart, hoping in a few years we see you on the QUIRKIEST EVER episode of don't tell the bride.
And your mardy bridesmaids are dressed up as butterflies or something 😁

@damnedwhatever are you me? Cracking up 🫣😂

I'm not sure I'd want to be friends with someone who thought long haired guitar players were too quirky!
It would be a very dull world if we all had the same haircut!

Nothing wrong with long hair and a guitar! 😀
I hope that everything works out for you and that you have fun.
Your friends sound very judgemental and not in a good way.

Long hair ✔️
Eyeliner ✔️
Nail polish ✔️
Plays guitar ✔️
Sense of humour ✔️

He sounds great OP. Keep us updated ☺️

I’d keep an open mind and don’t set him up too much as you haven’t met him yet!

He does sound brilliant, and you sound lovely too, but also a bit like my best friend, who is lovely but tends to get a bit ahead of herself when she finds a nice guy on-line, and has been disappointed a few times.

It's entirely possible he could be as lovely as he seems (or nearly as lovely - he will have his bad points because we all do. But he might be a great guy and a good match).

He might also be good at telling you what you want to hear/matching your tastes etc. We have all been taken in by fellas (don't mean to be sexist but it IS mainly the fellas in my experience) who do that.....

Just keep your powder dry. It's good to be optimistic but be realistic too. Keep chatting to others until you have dated him in the flesh a few times and are sure it's going well.....

Because the other possibility - he may be a perfectly genuine guy, and you might fancy him on-line (he does sound sexy) but in person you may not like the way he smells, or moves, or whatever, or he might be a bad kisser for your tastes - no chemistry basically.

Don't even begin falling for him until you know this stuff.

We should all keep our powder dry, as it were. Always.