Would a bit quirky put you off old?

[damnedwhatever]

Been chatting to a guy who actually seems quite emotionally intelligent. Seems funny . Nice . Pleasant , plays amazing guitar. Sends me voicemails daily and little guitar compositions based on what I like

He has long hair . Wears nail varnish and occasionally a bit of eye make up.

My friends are really taking the piss but I really like him ! We're meeting for a date soon

He loves doodling on the guitar and he's really good , I sing ( badly !) but he's like ooooo let's have a singalong and I'll play guitar! He's so enthusiastic and seems so nice ! He's encouraging. I've not sung in front of anyone since I was about 10! I used to sing a lot and play piano .I was shut down . My ex used to take the piss and I stopped playing and singing .

Im not really conventional. He seems like me . Our politics align , both quite liberal , we both love music even if not the same music , he asks me everyday for recommendations, im sending him REM , cult , maniics, Ryan adams , pixies etc. we agree on films , tv, im really optimistic! But everyone is taking the piss because he has long hair and is a bit different.

Am I being an idiot here ? He's so honest and there's absolutely no game playing. I like that . We spend ages chatting daily and 2 hour phone calls . I think he's nice . I don't care if he has long hair and wears make up 😂

Why can't people just be ? I want to meet him .

Definitely go for it...

Just meet him already
you know nothing till you have face to face

and who cares what your mates say ?
why do they have input ?
how old are you ?

When your friends are married to fat, balding bankers and moaning about them you and Mr Quirky will be travelling the world in a van, singing and playing guitar, watching the sunset 🥰

I only dare quirky people. And I have made loads of quirky friends through OLD including a cross dresser. I don’t like dating boring people, prefer intelligent, quirky and not your typical good looking boring guy.

I have a long-haired, guitar-playing, poem-writing, occasionally-nail-varnish-wearing, soft-hearted-tough-cookie ds, and I think he is a complete catch. So does his girlfriend.

My dh is gawky and geeky, literally runs like a girl (knock-kneed, but runs ultra-marathons) and has other features that make him look different. He's a quirky introvert. Probably autistic. Years ago, near the beginning of our relationship, we were playing badminton with another couple and she and I sat out for a while, watching our boyfriends playing. Suddenly she said "G is so comfortable in his skin." And I realised she was right . G, my boyfriend, was not bothered that he looked or moved differently to other men. There he was, flinging himself around the court, arms and knock-kneed legs all over the place, having a brilliant time. And that was part of what made him so attractive to me: his self-assurance. Not arrogance, not even self-confidence (he is very shy) but this sense of he is who he is and he is comfortable being himself, even if he is at odds with stereotypes.

What this guy looks like is nobody else's business. How you feel about him, how you gel, how you feel together, how he treats you, that's all that matters.

He sounds great and I love long hair! I bet your friends go for shaved head, football and beer consuming, men's men, who don't know how to have a conversation with a woman! I exaggerate, of course, but they sound very closed minded.

Your friends sound very immature.
Go for it and tell us how it goes.

He sounds amazing! Full of fun and interesting. Music taste is top notch. You both sound like my kinda people.

I hope it goes really well and if not romantically, it sounds like you are have a friend for life.

Your friends aren’t kind to laugh at him. My spidey senses are going off a bit though - is he ND? Because this level of intensity suggests to me you have become his ‘special interest’ - which feels great! Until you move in together, and the project of dating you is complete, so he becomes obsessively interested in something else and basically ignores you forever more. I’d just keep an eye out for this dynamic.

This is really generalising about how ND people act in relationships, when most people accept its a very broad spectrum and there are plenty of ND people who have good long term relationships.

He sounds brill 😀

@Ratfan24 it’s just a possibility. Same as it’s a possibility that he’s the nicest chap on earth. Not saying all ND people do this, but it is something that does happen sometimes. I’m ADHD myself and not trying to be an arsehole - I have transient hobbies so I get it. But it would have been helpful to know that someone can have people and relationships as transient hobbies if they have an interest-based nervous system - and if I’d realised that I might have made some different life choices.

Nothing wrong with quirky but does he have a job?

Your friends don't sound very nice tbh.

You and him do though!

This. Exactly this.

He sounds like my friend's ex husband. He is lovely in many ways but there is literally zero emotional reciprocation. Be aware of that and how over time you will no longer be 'the special interest' if that's what you start out as.

When I was dating I had this bad habit of looking at the guy I was with and imagining all the judgemental things that some of the people I know would think / say about him. One day I noticed myself doing it and realising it was a silly childish insecurity on my part to think that way. I realised I totally accept the men that my friends in good relationships love, although there are things I couldn't fancy about them myself. And I just needed to find myself my one of those.

My friends took the piss when I started dating someone they considered 'different' whereas I thought he was lovely.

I ended marrying the guy and we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this year and he's made my life such a joy.

I've not seen those particular 'friends' for years 🤷🏼‍♀️

Go on the date OP

We are possibly the same person 😂 but I agree with every word.

He sounds lovely. Two of my lovely male (heterosexual) friends sometimes wear make up or nail varnish (and sometimes even sparkly leggings)...and whyever not? Good luck....and tell us how you get on

Sounds like my kind of man ..( back in the 80s l dated these kind) I'm too old now lol.
But my OLD profile says l prefer men with long hair and a tad hippy.. ( make up accepted).
Robert Smith of the Cure was my kind.
Go and have fun.. and l hope it works out for you.

Quirky is great! The quirky people are the ones I remember and think about fondly.

He clearly makes you happy so ignore those being unkind. I really hope everything works out well for you 😊

He sounds amazing! I would like him too. It sounds as if you two get on really well. Don't let your judgemental friends spoil it. I love long hair on a bloke.

I was thinking that ..I imagine there's quite a few of us that have over invested via text message and email , then the actual meet up has been an anti climax.

Is there any reason why you haven't met up until now? Seems like you should have arranged a date a long time ago.

Really hope the sparks and guitar chords fly anyway, let us know!

Yes!! Go for it 😁

He sounds lovely. Go on the date and report back.

You need better mates. They sound like a closed minded, judgemental bunch of arses!

I don't see how you can decide until you have met him in person!