I think from now on my default setting will just be grumpy, moody cow that makes no effort

[TheSalesGirl]

I'm sick of being a nice, decent person and just getting treated like shit by friends. I'm always upbeat and try to be fun and friendly but it really doesn't do me any favours. Those that 'say it like it is' and are grumpy and offhand all the time have people clamouring to kiss their arses.

I'm currently on holiday with DH, and another couple we are good friends with. They asked if another couple could come too. And lo and behold the three men have all gone off together all week and got on fine but I'm left out by my friend and her other friend. They've been whispering, disappearing off for walks leaving me in the apartment and just generally being 'besties'. If I speak their eyes glaze over.

Why is it always me this happens to? Why, for once can't I be the one that someone actually wants to gravitate towards and it be some other person being the third wheel? It's always me. And this is a so called good friend who has done this.

I really feel like from now on I'll just be moody, offhand and snappy and just not bother with friends

And also, on the rare occasion a 'friend' wants to spend time with me, I'm going to make it clear now that I won't meet up in a three ever again or do anything as a three

Are you abroad, could you not fly home.

Get back home.

I'm abroad, yes. We fly home Sunday morning anyway otherwise I'd fly home

They sound like horrible eight year olds.

Not very nice of your DH to leave you like this all week.

What are the male partners all doing that's so apparently exclusionary of you btw?

Some woman are nasty selfish bitches OP, it seems the nicest friends get treated like dirt.
Reduce your circle of friends to the genuine good ones, and throw away those that have shown their true colours.
I did this a few months ago, my life is calmer and happier without the leeches.

@AutumnCrow bike rides mostly! And going to bars

Sounds like an All Exclusive.

Why are you not socialising together as 3 couples? Who is the instigator of the male/female split?

We do do some things as three couples but these two continue their whispering/being best friends when we do so

Has your husband noticed ?

Urgh !!! Sounds hideous. Can you swim / go to the gym avoid them.

Surely your DH doesn’t want to leave you in the lurch ?

You just know never to go on holiday with these 2 couples ever again…

They're not good friends if they're behaving like this. How awful. I'd collar your DH and tell him that you're not being left alone like excess baggage if he wants to go home still married as well! Chalk this one up to experience, but that would be the end of the friendship for me.

He has noticed but as per usual doesn't want me to make a fuss.

I've been doing stuff alone mostly

Why haven't you told your DH to stop pissing off out and to spend the time with you as a couple?

Ugh OP I know exactly what you mean, why is it so often “the say it like it is”’people who everyone is trying to be friends with? Is it the treat them mean keep them keen mentality? I don’t get it, they’re generally unpleasant yet you see people falling over themselves to gain their approval!

I’m sorry I have no advice, I just wanted to say I know what you mean! The other 2 women sound very childish and I really hope you can relax and enjoy the holiday regardless. Is there a spa or something you can go to? I’d try and get away from them!

Jesus that sounds hideous. Start doing things with your DH ! He is a wet blanket !

Well he's not a safe parner then, he's not protective and he sounds like a sheep, following the other males and ignoring his wife's feelings of being uncomfortably shunned.

What's the point of him.

Stand up for yourself, stop worrying about social norms, get pissed tell them what you think of them and then go out on your own.

I think I'd also be pissed off with my partner if he was going off having fun knowing I was having a shite time being left out.

I think your husband is being a dick. He doesn't want you to make a fuss, ok I can understand if he is mates with these guys, but he can still invite you along to activities or take some time out from guys activities to do something nice with you. Knowing you're being ignored by these women but leaving you for long periods of time to do stuff wirh the blokes is a dick move

Stick your earbuds in, get stuck into a good book and ignore them all. Including your husband. And next time book a holiday for yourself.

I'm just always the one left out in life. Why can't it be someone else for a change and I be the 'chosen one'?

Went on a day shopping with a friend last year and she turned up with another friend whom I'd never met and they spent the day in each others pockets and even told me they were off to look in 'X' shop and they'd meet me in a couple of hours

I’d tell your husband that for the remainder you’ll be doing whatever he’s doing. Go to the bars and bike rides with the men. Fuck the women off and once you get home never speak to any of them again. They aren’t your friends

My word I could have written a very similar post 6 months ago!

You don't have to put up with this bullshit, I personally got so fed up I fell out with them in the end by standing up to them and walking away from them there and then then blocking.

I was really proud myself for doing so. I do not miss those fucking bitches or the whole mess of the social circle which I was always on the periphery of anyway one tiny bit.

phew that felt good!