I constantly attract married men (NOT a humblebrag - please read before judgement)

[Leavingbyebye]

Ok “constantly” probably an exaggeration. But frequently. I went through a divorce 12 months ago. No kids and as amicable as things can be. I am late 30s.

Since my early 20s there are probably no less than 12-15 married men who have not only made a move but have made persistent efforts to start an emotional affair. I have got in too deep with 2 in particular to the detriment of my own mental health but never physically cheated.

cards on the table - I am reasonably attractive but pretty ‘generic’. Nothing special. Have a bit of a laddish personality if I’m honest but also have a close circle of female friends who have stuck with me through my relationship breakdown and I like to think a strong moral compass in that I have not and would not cheat or knowingly be with a married man. Having gone through the pain of divorce and out the other side - I know it’s hard but not impossible - if these men are so unhappy as they claim to be why are they with their wives?

I suppose what I’m asking is…why am I specifically attracting married men over and over again? I definitely don’t come across as ‘easy’, have a good career, certainly not someone who needs rescuing or who is easily influenced. But still it happens. I’m so aware this might appear to be a humblebrag, honestly it’s the total opposite as I’d love to meet some decent SINGLE men (do they exist?!) although I’m in no hurry. Am I giving out a certain vibe? What I’m particularly sad about is I’ve lost a handful of good friendships due to this because things have got so uncomfortable.

any thoughts. Happy for honestly but please be kind, I’m not in the best mental place at the moment and this isn’t the only thing in my life I’m questioning

Do what you feel is appropriate for you and your situation to produce the best result for you and your peace of mind and goals

(eg if you need to be quite networky at work?

However, please also bear in mind people don't need to hang around with you chatting all day to be your ally.

Often people are helpful by email but really dont need to be with you physically!).

But also again don't overthink or blame yourself.

There's huge structural reasons which sometimes make life very awkward for unattached women.

Life can be great but also (especially as its now easier to be financially independent as a single woman) there's a lot of pushback, as previously female time and energy and labour was mens "property".

WFH has come in like a storm where I am and women (and men) are enjoying flexible time with their families.

Guess who is advocating for everyone returning, and claiming all the junior people (especially personable young females) need to be encouraged to physically be around and present for their Training Needs and Mental Health.

Yes, it's the creepy married men.

(The ones who don't reply to basic admin queries or reference requests but demand everyone "hangs about" for their benefit so they can waste time and target women).

I thought this was very negatively loaded discussion towards some (and apparently pretty small number of women going by this thread) women.
And by that I mean to those women who have never had any luck with men.
Imagine never been hit on / asked out on a date, and having to read that men hit on any woman with a pulse 😭
Makes it a rough reading, to say the least!