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Original poster

What do you do when you have suspicions about your adult child's partner?

107 replies

womworried · 21/02/2024 13:50

What would you do if you had suspicions (only suspicions) about your dd's partner? They have a young child together and have lived together for about two years. There's always been something about him that seems off even though he is very charming and hard-working. My mother when she first met him said that she was concerned he might be a control freak. I was concerned about that for a while but now I'm worried about something else. I wonder if he might be cottaging.

OP posts:
lentafortuna · 22/02/2024 15:32

The jump from control freak to cottaging Grin

brunettemic · 22/02/2024 16:32

womworried · 21/02/2024 15:39

Men do not have chats in public toilets.

Of course they do. You sound really strange 😂

fatphalange · 22/02/2024 16:43

Could you casually engineer a scenario whereby you, in his company, could be sat openly browsing cottage holidays wearing a cottagecore dress eating cottage cheese on ryvita and then catch his eye and give him a knowing, quizzical look? And maybe have a small -cough 'GLORY HOLE! cough - keep it subtle though. Could up the ante by growling, 'no room for adulterers in this family, shame on you'....if he's like 'uhhh what?' Just play it off like you were saying it's a shame the holidays you're looking only do adult, not family rooms. With these very small hints, he may get paranoid you might possibly be on to him and change his treacherous ways.

Porfirio · 22/02/2024 17:55

fatphalange · 22/02/2024 16:43

Could you casually engineer a scenario whereby you, in his company, could be sat openly browsing cottage holidays wearing a cottagecore dress eating cottage cheese on ryvita and then catch his eye and give him a knowing, quizzical look? And maybe have a small -cough 'GLORY HOLE! cough - keep it subtle though. Could up the ante by growling, 'no room for adulterers in this family, shame on you'....if he's like 'uhhh what?' Just play it off like you were saying it's a shame the holidays you're looking only do adult, not family rooms. With these very small hints, he may get paranoid you might possibly be on to him and change his treacherous ways.

GrinGrinGrin

minthybobs · 22/02/2024 18:00

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 21/02/2024 15:40

Cottaging is not arranging to meet other men you know in restaurant toilets with your family right there in the restaurant.

Cottaging is
anonymous sex between men in a public lavatory (a "cottage" or "tea-room"), or cruising for sexual partners with the intention of having sex elsewhere

Why on earth did your mind go straight to gay sex?

This. Men don't cottage in busy restaurant toilets when their families are present FGS.

What an utterly bizarre assumption to make

minthybobs · 22/02/2024 18:01

fatphalange · 22/02/2024 16:43

Could you casually engineer a scenario whereby you, in his company, could be sat openly browsing cottage holidays wearing a cottagecore dress eating cottage cheese on ryvita and then catch his eye and give him a knowing, quizzical look? And maybe have a small -cough 'GLORY HOLE! cough - keep it subtle though. Could up the ante by growling, 'no room for adulterers in this family, shame on you'....if he's like 'uhhh what?' Just play it off like you were saying it's a shame the holidays you're looking only do adult, not family rooms. With these very small hints, he may get paranoid you might possibly be on to him and change his treacherous ways.

I am LMAOOOOO

SOxon · 22/02/2024 19:11

Besides which, in busy restaurants, bars, bistros, cafe, there is usually the one toilet for men and one for ladies on the other side of the bar, or kitchen.
In smaller establishments, just the one wide-door opening all purpose disabled/baby change toilet.

I don’t think Gents in restaurants are many cubicled green/white tiled Edwardian palaces of peeing as in posh hotels or Lady Lever Art Gallery any more than the Ladies are all pink mirrors sweet smelling fresh! flowers, soft sofas thick carpets pampering places akin to Betty’s Tea Room in Harrogate.
Too many stylised films from across the pond.
Too many posters needing to up their salt intake.

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