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Original poster

Text exchange for arranging a date

107 replies

usernamedone · 20/02/2024 11:37

Am I overthinking this text exchange about arranging a date, worried hes not really into the idea and just being polite before blowing it out (he's white reply's)

Text exchange for arranging a date
OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 20/02/2024 11:38

He’s not keen at all. You’re very keen. Why are you pushing him like this? Waste of time

Original poster
usernamedone · 20/02/2024 11:41

We're 3 months into dating

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 20/02/2024 11:53

Well he’s gone off the boil. Your gut tells you this which is why you’re asking.

nomoretoriesforme · 20/02/2024 11:57

He isn't keen. Start dating other people xx

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 20/02/2024 11:58

He's not into it

emilysgoldskirt · 20/02/2024 11:58

No I think it’s ok. Sometimes nice men just feel on overload from things, especially when he’s got kids/an ex/a job. See if it calms down. He did reply at the time.

ICantbelieveitMeldrew · 20/02/2024 11:58

I can't see the white bits - who said we could do Thursday? I think that was you ? TBH I don't think many men indulge in this " how has your night been " stuff .

Original poster
usernamedone · 20/02/2024 12:04

We last saw each other Thursday just gone, we have messaged daily (he texts first) haven't spoken today since those last night, he's on course today... I have bad anxiety at moment

OP posts:
SamW98 · 20/02/2024 12:06

I can’t see anything wrong with his replies but it depends on the context of how he usually messages.

Some men I’ve found aren’t great communicators via messages but fine face to face.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/02/2024 12:13

3 months !!! good grief !

you are trying too hard, too much in your texts compared to his.

  1. why did he need to start his reply with ha ha - I am so old i don't know why someone finds your previous text so funny
  2. was this last night ? i.e. Monday evening SURELY he knows if he has his children ?!!!
  3. a man with children - do you also have children ?
  4. is the response ' I am tired tho ' in reply to ' how is your evening ' ?
  5. why 2 questions in one text ? are you trying hard to make conversation
  6. forgot about Thursday - really who forgets there are 7 evenings in a week
  7. despite him being tired - don't know if he was tired last night, or is generally tired by Thursdays having worked 4 days ? you push ahead and decide on Thursday
  8. by deciding on Thursday you effectively dealt with the children excuse
  9. but then you ruin it by being needy and saying it would be nice to see you - that's the sort of thing I would say to elderly Aunty coming for a cup of tea
  10. luckily he agrees on Thursday
  11. all of that took 28 mins !
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/02/2024 12:15

p.s. my reply is called really over thinking it

Why is he unavailable on Saturdays ?

samestyle · 20/02/2024 12:25

Let him arrange the date next time if he can't wait to see you he will push to know when you're available.

He's not very chatty he is, doesn't ask you questions or say he's looking forward to it, has this always been his style? I think you know if it feels off to what he's normally been like.

DixonD · 20/02/2024 12:30

On the face of it, without further context, he looks reluctant and you seem pushy. It looks as though you’ve forced him into meeting Thursday.

Only you know if this sort of exchange is normal for you.

PutMyFootIn · 20/02/2024 12:32

I think it's ok but as a pp said, let him organise the next 2 or 3 dates.

That'll show you how serious he is.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/02/2024 12:34

The "xx" does my head in.

imnewhere2024 · 20/02/2024 12:39

i think it’s fine - the only thing is that you text back within minutes of his response where as he take a bit longer. Maybe be less keen ?

i would not text him, and wait for him to get in contact. If he does, then clearly he’s interested but if he is relying on you to start the convo and is simply responding out of politeness, you’ll soon know and can act accordingly.

thinkfast · 20/02/2024 12:42

Looks fine to me... he's responding very quickly to your instant texts.

OlderandwiserMaybe · 20/02/2024 12:47

I dont think there's anything wrong with this. Maybe he s genuinely tired form this course you mentioned so he's not that into texting at the moment??
I think I'd say "Lets do Thursday then - I'll let you decide where and what time depending on what you fancy doing". Then the call is firmly in his court to arrange the date and that will tell you all you need to know.
You say you've been dating 3 months - how many face to face dates have you had?? How have you arranged the previous dates? If you've dated multiple times sometimes mens effort starts to fade not because they are not interested but because they get lazy and expect the women to make all the effort. Not a good trait but this may be whats happening here.

Doltontweedle · 20/02/2024 12:47

He does sound less keen, but it does sound potentially for good reasons. I actually don’t think he wants a date this week, but he has said he’s not sure whether he’s got child contact friday, and he’s nicely tried to say he’s knackered so not sure about Thursday, but you’ve pushed it a bit and he’s agreed. If he really didn’t want to go he’d have said no instead of agreeing. I think having a fucking knackering week, plus then being unsure of whether you’ve got your kids at the end of it are legitimately good reasons to not want a date right now. I don’t think any of the people who have commented can judge him on what you’ve shown us

LittleGreenDragons · 20/02/2024 12:48

He sounds... disorganised, unfocused, overtired/stressed, not with it, watching football? Anyway, not focused on you.
You sound pushy and won't let it drop.

Do you normally organise the date/time? If so stop doing it and see how much effort he makes. That should give you a clearer answer.

Lightnose · 20/02/2024 12:49

I'm surprised by some of these responses, it seems fine to me.

sleepwellifyoucan · 20/02/2024 12:50

Looks ok to me, but then my responses to someone I have been seeing for a few months are very similar. Don't see the need for constant, frequent texting and don't usually know plans too far in advance. How he is with you when you do see him is much more important.

marshmellow71 · 20/02/2024 12:53

My advice, instead of sitting and wondering... just ask. You deserve to know where you stand.

Message him something really light hearted like...

"Hiya. Just checking that you do want to meet up on Thursday? I might e reading too much into your message but just got the feeling you weren't all that sure so I just thought I'd ask 🙂"

SamW98 · 20/02/2024 12:55

Lightnose · 20/02/2024 12:49

I'm surprised by some of these responses, it seems fine to me.

I agree. Think some on here would hate to date me ha ha I’m very last minute with plans

Fiddlerdragon · 20/02/2024 12:56

WhatWillAPearDoAtNight · 20/02/2024 11:58

He's not into it

Am I reading something else to everyone else? If anything I’d say the red flags are the other way around. He’s not sure if he’s got his kids this week, and he’s implied he’s really tired. But the ops insisted she wants a date anyway, and the second she does he sends a lovely reply and agrees to meet her?? He’s also responding to every text immediately. Give the man a break ffs. He’s trying to juggle work plus a course he’s on, his kids and ex with unsure contact arrangements, everything else going on in his life. And he’s still making the op a priority