Longest you’ve gone without sex?

[LilBus]

Since being an adult and sexually active obviously what’s the longest time you’ve gone without sex? I read another post where someone said they hadn’t had sex for 2 years and felt embarrassed by it and I was thinking that’s nothing 😂 it’s been 8 years for me (not through choice!) I imagine most people haven’t spent many years celibate? Am I wrong? What’s the longest period you’ve gone without sex? This is more aimed at single people rather than those in sexless relationships

8 years then hooked up with a guy I dated in high school and thought ewww why tf did I do that (I did it because I'd been reading a lot of contemporary "girl power" stuff about hookups being empowering and bought into it). Zero emotional connection. Not pleasurable at all! Ew.

I'm 43 and I've never had sex. Or any kind of relationship. There are obviously issues there.

I've always wanted sex to be with someone who really cares about me, not just sex. And it sounds like finding a man who isn't in it just for sex is a hard find. I read on here, and mens forums how many/most men will stay with a woman, even if he doesn't particularly like her, as long as she's having sex with him.

I read constantly, from both sexes, how it is the be all and end all in relationships. The one thing that keeps couples together and I just think "surely there has to be more to a relationship!"

I read constantly, from both sexes, how it is the be all and end all in relationships. The one thing that keeps couples together and I just think "surely there has to be more to a relationship!"

@ButtonBound There is a lot more to any relationship but sex, for me anyway, is the thing that makes it a relationship rather than just being roommates or friends. It's a really important part of my marriage.

This is the same for me, I can’t do hook ups not at all they are just not for me, I would rather have no sex 😂 probably why it’s been so long. I last had sex when I was 28 I’m now 35! Nothing empowering about hook ups for me they make me feel used

I read constantly, from both sexes, how it is the be all and end all in relationships. The one thing that keeps couples together and I just think "surely there has to be more to a relationship!"

Of course there is. You can have sex with someone without even knowing their name.

After my divorce it was 7 years. My DH was a Virgin (yes 40 year old virgin)

I know you can have sex with anyone and it mean nothing. I'm also aware that sex is what differentiates romantic and platonic relationships.

I've also read, on here, from men who have said that they and other men will happily stay with a woman indefinitely and do all the relationship things without it meaning anything. I can't recall his exact words but it was something like "you might think that the spending of time and doing things together will make a deeper bond, but a man can and will do those things and still only regard you as someone he has sex with."

And by relationship things, I mean going on holidays and to events and meeting friends and family.

So, there are probably loads of women doing all this stuff with men thinking they're in fab relationships with guys who want to spend time with them and want to get to know them as people when the guy just regards you as someone he wants to have sex with.

How can we tell the difference?

I don't know if you can always tell the difference. I don't know if people in it can.

@ButtonBound - exactly! that's my experience of OLD. Sometimes there's an easy wax of identifying that: "sex positivity" on Bumble or "long term relationship but open to short" on Hinge.

Aka "passing time" with a woman & happily having lots of sex until it's time to move on to a new one. Almost like pretending to be in a relationship.

Great if you want

Unfortunately I am going to be at 8 years June 2024, and this isn't by my choice either, but my beautiful wife of 49 years has an incurable illnesses that started back in 2001a and has taken a toll on her so so for the past almost 8 years now that has been something that hasn't been so important.

Same and the break in the decade was more or less a one off, so you could also say 'about 20 years!'

Might he be gay?

Apart from around 7 week gaps when I had my children I don’t think I have gone without sex for more than 3 weeks in the last 53 years.

7 years.

I was a single parent from when my children were toddlers (as in had no respite whatsoever) so couldn't stay at a man's house or really sneak one into my house. In fact I stayed overnight at a man's house a few months ago and it was the first time I had done that since 2012 !!

The SEND in my county is so appalling (i.e Essex County Council had to step in and run it for a while and Essex is hundreds of miles away!) that one of my children had no education at all for a 3 year spell so I was with him 24 hours a day during those times. And 18 hours a day at all other times!

10 years since I had sex, was weighty for years so didn’t feel confident plus was raising my daughter who has autism on my own, didn’t think about it much, but then 5 years ago met up with a couple guys at different times both had ED how great ehh, chances of that happening, so that knocked my confidence to hell, I get offers but not into hooking up for the sake of sex, I want intimacy, passion and love too.

LIke some others, I had 2 children with SN & SEN and NO respite (exH awful)
I'd a dry marriage so I spent 10 years in my own bedroom & no sex.
I also gained weight and felt utterly miserable.
Then I re-met a man I had loved when I was younger. 300m away & with his own complications but we met when we could for 5 years. I loved him deeply.
He sadly died 3 years ago but I will always treasure the time we had together.

Actually, I should clarify, in case one of my kids is ever on here and recognises me - 'old friend' and I did NOt have a sexual relationship but he gave me back my confidence and hope for the future. And I felt SO loved. I'm mid 50's now. I don't know if I will ever have a physically intimate relationship again & that's ok.

Coming up to 5 years at moment. I wish I could do FWB or casual but I have to feel more than that for someone before I want sex and I just haven’t met anyone I feel attracted to in that time.

7 years. I got divorced when my children were toddlers. Had a few boyfriends.

Their father then stopped seeing them so I had zero childcare and no time to myself at all.

About 12 weeks I think after my son. Might have been 11...

Oh that’s so sad, sorry for your loss x