Longest you’ve gone without sex?

[LilBus]

Since being an adult and sexually active obviously what’s the longest time you’ve gone without sex? I read another post where someone said they hadn’t had sex for 2 years and felt embarrassed by it and I was thinking that’s nothing 😂 it’s been 8 years for me (not through choice!) I imagine most people haven’t spent many years celibate? Am I wrong? What’s the longest period you’ve gone without sex? This is more aimed at single people rather than those in sexless relationships

More than three years since I separated from my ex. I do not miss it at all.

I've been single for over a decade but did have a FWB situation for a long time. However that ended and I've not had sex for about four years. I do miss it!

Just celebrated my 6th anniversary of celibacy (nearly a year since my divorce too). Now I’m 60 and all dried up down below the thought of penetrative sex and the pain involved literally terrifies me, as does the idea of getting naked with anyone so I guess that’s me done with sex and relationships forever now.

I'm a single parent and it's been over 20 years since I last had sex.

Didn't want a relationship while my kids were at home. They moved out last year, but I've kind of got used to living on my own.

You could go on a dating site and say you just want casual/hookups. You will probably be inundated. I'm not quite sure how you'd assess the quality without any chat at all, but you can certainly meet men where all you do is fuck and then fuck off.

My profile says I'm not sure what I want, and I've met some ONSs a few repeats, and also the most amazing man ever. A new one looks quite promising. No idea what he's actually like out on a date, but it's our 3rd meet-up tomorrow. 😉

Quite a few years and don't care at all

About 10yrs. It’s been a year now, I was single for years after splitting with father of DC, largely through choice but also busy raising kids with no babysitter and their father working away. Had a 3 month fling I guess you could call it with a colleague last year, we had a lot of amazing sex. So I did miss it for a bit after we split, but a year on I don’t really miss it anymore and I think of the hassle that came with it, I am happy with my dog! I wouldn’t say sex is over rated as that was great sex, but prior to last year the sex I’d had was definitely over rated

Probably 4/5 months, basically the period from I was heavily pregnant with DS until I felt ok enough to try it after.

I can understand those who are single people going years but I can't wrap my head around happily married couples....

I have friends who crack jokes that they haven't have sex since conception of their toddlers. I just find that a bit sad.

I've seen quite a lot of posts on MN where it seems to be a badge of honour, almost, to metaphorically hoik their bosom and declare they'd much rather spend the evening knitting.

Barring any health issues I can only assume they and/or their partners are crap lovers.

My exh and I were very good friends, very good housemates and very good parents. We just didn't fancy each other. I think it must be harder where one person wants to and the other doesn't.

"You could go on a dating site and say you just want casual/hookups."

Or you could do what a lot of women do which is look for proper relationships, but mainly only meet men who want casual.

I was single for two weeks shy of ten years after my marriage broke down... and celibate for the whole time. God, I missed it!

2 years and it feels like forever! Problem is I won't just sleep with anyone these days and as I'm not even dating I can't see an end on sight.

I really want to date but I've put on loads of weight and I'm not happy with myself. That and peri-menopause has given me the longest periods ever I get about 4 days when I could!

I stayed celibate for 7 years.

A decision that was made as I was a lone parent and focussed on my kid and career.

By the time that was over I had saved enough money for a deposit on a house and increased my salary by 40%

It was the best decision and investment in myself I ever made.

Oh yes, I understand that and have been in relationships where I stopped fancying the person but it took awhile to extricate myself.

My post was more about the women I've seen on here who seem to view any act of sex, with anyone, ever, as beneath them. And I'm not criticising, more thinking that any sex they've had must have been pretty average (at best) for them to feel that way. Because good sex is... good!

Yes. I do see what you mean about that.

I wonder how many of those women have shut down that side if themselves because they don't feel attractive in themselves?

I had a very close friend who was a bit like that. She shut down sex and stopped enjoying it so all sex was 'maintenance sex' and then that stopped being appealing. She still fancied her husband but she'd stopped finding herself attractive.

It had become almost an enemy. I think she felt saddened by the whole situation so her attitude towards sex became quite hostile and she also came across as though she regarded it as beneath her. Like she was above all that nonsense when, in reality, she just hated herself.

This is me though a few more years without than you, I've now met somebody at work and my worry of body issues is definitely a factor in taking things slow especially as he's 13 years younger so still in his 30s. Had some great advice on here though so will see how it pans out

Five months (have only been in one marriage/relationship)

When single it still wasn't more than a few months. I was quite the hussy though.

2.5 years. My previous partner died and I was grieving.

6 years

Put a profile on literally any dating site or app and tick the options for "casual" or "short term" or whichever term the site uses. Write your profile in an honest and open way - so if you're looking for friends with benefits (ie its not just for sex but also hanging out) then describe a bit about your hobbies etc. If you purely want sex then just say you're looking for hookups. Your inbox will explode. Your primary problem will be sorting through all the messages, seriously.

Oh yes. Even when I put very clearly on my profile I wasn’t interested in hook ups or casual I was inundated with messages like ‘I know you say you’re not into hook ups but I’m sure I can persuade you’

Maybe about 6-9 months when single? Usually less. Have had 2 or 3 reasonable length relationships, 2 shorter ones and a few flings/fwb in between, in my mid 30s.