Bit of a weird one possibly tmi

[cocoapple]

I’m not a troll, just wanting opinions as I am mad/hurt but DP doesn’t see the problem and I’ve been made to feel some kind of prude etc.

So we were DTD last night, halfway through DP gets his “penis extender” out. I don’t even know if it’s actually called that. Basically it looks like a dildo that he puts on (I know how ridiculous this sounds) I didn’t even know he had ordered it . We tried it a couple of months ago but I told him I didn’t like it as I have endometriotis and it really hurt me. Our sex life was/is fine, IMO he doesn’t even need it. Last night when he got it out of the draw I told him not to use it as it hurts me. He said I just need to take it and it will eventually feel ok. I said no I have endometriotis, that’s why it hurts. He basically ignored me and just carried on. After we had finished I was pissed off and told him why. He doesn’t see the problem and think I just need to “take it”

I promise again I’m not a troll and am sorry for the TMI but I’m angry that my feelings and wants have been ignored like me being hurt doesn’t matter to him

I've never heard of anything like this, he wants to make his penis bigger even though you don't want to? What were you doing when he was putting it on, was there a reason you didn't get up and not do it? Just trying to understand the situation

@Shiningout basically yes. And I was just saying to him I don’t want to use it, put it back but he just ignored me. I just carried on lying there. Looking back I don’t know why

Yeah, that’s not consent. I’d be rethinking the entire relationship. I hope you’re okay

Surely a “penis extender” is for your pleasure? I can’t see what he’d get out of it!
I’d be telling him to fuck right off and no sex for him until he puts you first.
Or suggest you buy a strap on and he should just take it!!

Why did you not just get up and walk away? Are you scared of him?

He sounds like a sick sadistic fuck who probably watches porn where woman shove massive things inside themselves for men’s viewing pleasure. I didn’t even know it was a thing until I watched Olivia Atwood’s getting filthy rich show and was disgusted.

bin that sicko off.

@YouAndMeAndThem Not scared of him exactly but he’s known to go moody when I say I don’t want sex

I’m pretty sure thats rape

You're going to leave him for raping you aren't you?

Why the hell does he think you need to "just take it" if you don't want to?! He basically raped you with his penis extender.

What is even the point if the woman doesn't enjoy it? Presumably the man gets no sensation from it? (I have no experience of one).

OP this is actually very shocking. I don't know what a penis extender is, but that's irrelevant. The point is you withdrew consent, clearly and vocally, and he continued. That is rape. And obviously that is not at all ok. Do you have someone to confide in properly about this? I'm worried about you and think you need proper support.

Exactly what I was thinking. If the pleasure is meant for me but I don’t like it (which he knows) why is he so keen to use it

OP that's rape. Please please get away.

He doesn't care that it hurts you. In fact, surely the only pleasure he gets from using it is BECAUSE he knows it hurts you!

This is sick.

Because he's a sadistic and disrespectful fuck who thinks women are objects to be passively penetrated?

I'm guessing when you said "we we finished" you actually meant "we HE finished" as this was all about him

He knowingly hurt you during sex, without your consent and against your spoken wishes. No, you're definitely not unreasonable. Whatever you're feeling right now is completely valid, and I'd advise you to seek professional help and counseling. At worst, this is sexual abuse. Take care of yourself and stay safe.

He’s inserted something inside of you without your consent. There’s a word for that.

He raped you. Will you be reporting this to the police?

Absolutely this. I'm so sorry he did this to you, you said no and he continued,that is rape. Do you have support?x

I have support to those who are asking
glad to know I am not over reacting x

You just need to take it he decides for you, and then goes and rapes you with it.
I really really really hope you are a troll. Otherwise you're in big trouble, sharing your life with someone like him.
Posting it here, and not even after he is lying somewhere in your house wounded....

How long have you been together? He pushed your boundaries to do something that he knows will hurt you and took away your right to give permission. This is not something someone does in a healthy, loving, respectful relationship.
Stay safe op x

That is not consent. This was a sexual assault.
You explicitly told him you didn't want him to use it and it hurts you.

Please consider calling women's aid. I think you need to end this relationship.

He "would just have to take" a kick in the balls, and having his bags packed. It's very disturbing that you didn't feel able to end the encounter.

Is he usually rough/tries to hurt you during sex OP?
Has he got it into his head that sex should be an act where he dominates?