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Original poster

He’s bankrupt, broken…I don’t know if I can do this

114 replies

Jasmine1973 · 13/02/2024 20:06

10 years ago I have become a single mum of 2…haunted by the narrative that no man would take on a woman with 2 kids I have ended up dating guys who have treated me poorly. Finally, 6 months ago I met a guy on bumble, we hit it off and both fell for each other very quickly. The relationship was initially filled with so much laughter, a strong connection and love. He is divorced twice, has moved around countless times and has been in lots of relationships (nothing lasting more than a year). He even gifted me with chlamydia (which in his defence he might not have known about). He has his own business and was initially successful until recently. Over the course of a month I have watch his business crash..losing everything. He is absolutely broken, crying non stop, often cold towards me. I am trying my best to support him but it’s starting to take its toll on my mental wellbeing. Friends tell me to walk away but my love for him is as strong as ever. I acknowledge he might be heading for a breakdown and I just don’t know how to cope? Do I just walk away? How do I support him? When I told him the whole situation was upsetting for me he responded with he didn’t need that additional stress. I’m so confused.

OP posts:
Avatartar · 14/02/2024 00:12

OP he’s shit at relationships, shit in business and now turning it on you:
Scam
Her
Income
Totally
Give your head a wobble and protect your DCs and self - wave him off to the next one.

VintageBlossomHill · 14/02/2024 00:25

Run like your wearing red and there is a angry bull behind you. Dont be daft. This sounds more like a horror story than a love story. Look after you and your kids and give him his marching orders.

SamW98 · 14/02/2024 00:28

This surely can’t be real? No one can be that desperate for a bloke that they’re putting this walking fucking red flag waving car crash over their kids.

If by any chance it’s real then the OP has set her bar lower than a snakes belly.

Christ the last Beijing May Day parade had less red flags than this dickhead.

Honestly just when I think the standard of blokes on these threads can’t get any worse - along comes another one.

OP you need to stay single and learn some self respect. Wtf are you teaching your kids about relationships?

hellsBells246 · 14/02/2024 00:33

It's only been six months!! You owe him nothing. Dump him and move on.

Opentooffers · 14/02/2024 00:47

And this is no different from the other men who have treated you like crap, he's another to add to the list. You really should raise your standards.
Many short relationships ⛳
Moving around a lot ⛳
Gave you chlamydia ⛳⛳
How many red flags are you going to ignore? Then you can add lying- his business going from successful to bankruptcy in 6 months is likely utter BS.
Wait for the pleas for your money next. He's probably already got you shelling out for any dates. He might even need a place to stay - don't be a mug.

Headphonesmeat · 14/02/2024 00:58

Jasmine1973 · 13/02/2024 20:06

10 years ago I have become a single mum of 2…haunted by the narrative that no man would take on a woman with 2 kids I have ended up dating guys who have treated me poorly. Finally, 6 months ago I met a guy on bumble, we hit it off and both fell for each other very quickly. The relationship was initially filled with so much laughter, a strong connection and love. He is divorced twice, has moved around countless times and has been in lots of relationships (nothing lasting more than a year). He even gifted me with chlamydia (which in his defence he might not have known about). He has his own business and was initially successful until recently. Over the course of a month I have watch his business crash..losing everything. He is absolutely broken, crying non stop, often cold towards me. I am trying my best to support him but it’s starting to take its toll on my mental wellbeing. Friends tell me to walk away but my love for him is as strong as ever. I acknowledge he might be heading for a breakdown and I just don’t know how to cope? Do I just walk away? How do I support him? When I told him the whole situation was upsetting for me he responded with he didn’t need that additional stress. I’m so confused.

I imagine he did something called "love bombing" at the start....that's where he was impressing you and spending lots of money on you and spending lots of time with you?

That's why you feel so connected, because you think you had all these perfect dates and he was really wealthy and you'd "caught a good one".

Unfortunately, it was all a trick to make a fast connection.

The real him is the one you see now. All the money he had six months ago was loans or credit cards (Or even loans from other women).

The man you thought you knew isn't real.

I'd just cut contact and be single for a while. Do not try to help him or give him any money at all.

If you do want to meet someone new, remember that most normal guys won't be that impressive with money at the start.

I have no kids (and I'm quite attractive I'm told) and I expect most decent guys to be very low-key and build things up slowly.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 14/02/2024 07:24

Do not lend him money OP

You need to think of your children, they should not be around this man. Neither should you!

ZebraD · 14/02/2024 07:27

He will be asking to borrow money next! Get rid! He is likely a liar and a scammer and most of all a drain on your emotions.

Pipsickle3 · 14/02/2024 07:33

You’ve only known him 6 months. Falling for someone quickly is often a toxic pull. It’s not a good thing. Your job isn’t to be there for him to treat you badly. Why did his other relationships end. Consider yourself. He isnt bringing much to your life right now is he?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 14/02/2024 07:48

@Jasmine1973 run, run, run!!

Winter2020 · 17/02/2024 03:32

fuckssaaaaake · 13/02/2024 23:19

Crikey, my business is crashing right now. To be fair it's been a bit longer than 6 months but I hope my friends don't think I'm a loser/deadbeat like everyone on this thread thinks of him.

I agree the STI is bad but could be an unfortunate situation that he didn't know about but both didn't use protection!

I don’t think the responses are about a persons business failing but more that people suspect the boyfriend is attempting to scam the OP. They suspect the “oh poor me my business is failing” is a ploy to rinse the OP and that he may have scammed other women in his string of previous short relationships.

Northernsouloldies · 17/02/2024 03:50

Are you insane... Your a mum of two they should be your priority not loser std giver boy.

RantyAnty · 17/02/2024 04:18

There's a reason you fell rather quickly as it was by design. he sounds like a scammer at worst. There's no man more keen and love than a cock lodger who needs a roof over his head.

Let me guess you're reliable responsible and financially sound.

RandomForest · 17/02/2024 04:56

He's really in no possition to be looking for new partners whilst his life is chaotic, what made him think that going on bumble was a good idea when he need to be sorting his sexual health, life and buisness out.

Keep him away from your finances and children.

FedUpMumof10YO · 17/02/2024 05:08

FFS 6 months in???

It should be honeymoon not all this trauma. I'd walk, your future self will thank you. Honest.

Starseeking · 17/02/2024 05:16

It doesn't sound like this man brings anything positive to your life. I'd be leaving him pronto.

Noideawwhatsoccuring · 17/02/2024 06:12

Op you can’t be serious.He gave you an std.

His business didn’t go from great to gone in a month. If it did, it’s because he did something horrific that ruined his reputation, permanently.

Any well run business can weather a short downturn.

He is a massive cunt and you are falling for it.

MariaVT65 · 17/02/2024 06:17

Op please get rid of this man and get some counselling to talk through why your standards are so low. And please use condoms!

Northernsouloldies · 17/02/2024 06:20

Definitely don't get pregnant to this jerk.

AgnesX · 17/02/2024 08:19

You stayed with him after he gave you an STD??

The man sounds like a disaster on 2 feet and you should step away. I can understand why you might think it's a crappy thing to do it now but this has been in the making for a while.

LoyalMember · 17/02/2024 08:31

More red flags than the Chinese Communist Party annual conference. He gave you a STD? How lucky you are... Don't be a mug, end this nonsense now.

zeibesaffron · 17/02/2024 08:34

Do not give this man money!

Leave and don’t look back - please read what you have written - can you not see how many red flags there are?!

CurlewKate · 17/02/2024 08:38

Under no circumstances lend or give him money. Do not let him move in with you. Offer no financial support of any kind.

CurlewKate · 17/02/2024 08:39

And DON'T GET PREGNANT!!!!?!

MotherOfVizslas · 17/02/2024 08:41

I am sorry, but "gifted me chlamydia" has just made me howl.

The concept is not funny at all, it's just the way you phrased it.

I hate to say it OP, but he is not the man he led you to believe. You deserve better.