Husband leaving me and 2 month old

[TheGentleOrca]

looking for some advice from anyone… my husband has told me he is leaving me and our 2 month old baby boy at the end of the month and going back to his home country. Our marriage hasn’t been the same since I gave birth, namely because I have been begging him to help me with a newborn and him flat out not wanting to help because ultimately it’s my job to do this and his to work and provide. I don’t trust him alone with the baby because he does really silly things - unsafe sleeping, wrapping the baby in multiple blankets, won’t change nappy and leaves it for me, not holding the baby correctly with support and I just generally don’t feel safe when I leave the baby with him. Our whole marriage I have always put him above myself and looked after him before myself, making sure he has three home cooked meals and always had breakfast in bed all the way up until I went into labour. He said he is leaving me because I’ve changed so much (now that baby is my priority) and I don’t give him his meals. A part of me laughs on the inside that he is leaving me and our baby because I don’t give him breakfast in bed anymore! He works a chilled job Monday to Friday but on the weekends he sleeps in until 3/4pm and won’t go out with us and makes excuses but will go out to see his friends or sit on him phone for hours on end playing video games. To me he is behaving like a man child and still expects me to wait on him hand and foot whilst juggling a newborn too! I’ve told him countless times I need him to help me and end up relying on my mum so I can do basic things like have a shower and know the baby is ok. There’s been multiple occasions when I’ve gone to the bathroom and I can hear baby crying and I go check and he is on his phone playing games and not attending to the baby crying. We’ve been together for 10years and coming up to 6 years married. He wanted our baby boy so much in the beginning we went though IVF and it shocks me how little he cares now. Am I wrong to not make him a priority anymore?

You should totally book his flight for him. Your last act of service to ensure you get rid of him.

Do it today, don't delay

Usually I'd say let him do it all himself but in this case I think I'd book him a flight out first thing tomorrow tbh. Good luck, your life is about to get a whole lot easier! Xx

Op what is he actually bringing to your life other than another mouth to feed/person to pick up after?

He wanted to have a child I'm guessing to tick the box, either that or he was deeply unprepared for the reality of parenthood, and he wanted no part in the actual work of being a parent. He took it for granted you'd be doing that along with everything else.

Tbh I'd change the locks now when he's out and have his bags packed and waiting for him when he comes home from work. I'd make sure you speak to a solicitor ASAP to discuss any shared assets so you know what your options are and you don't get screwed over.

Alternatively I'd take everything that's important to you and baby and go stay with your mum incase he gets nasty or aggressive before leaving or when he realises you actually are OK with him leaving.

I agree with others things will be easier without him op.

Get that flight booked! Take away his power OP. You have raised a baby in the same space as this loser, you are much much stronger than you think. Book the flight and wave him off now matter how much it hurts. You can do this.

What an awful, selfish man. He will never be an equal partner so you may as well just let him go. In fact, I'd be packing his bags for him.

Where is his home country? Not that I think he'll actually go. Too much effort isn't it? And who's gonna cook and skivvy for him there?

He's a cunt and you are well rid, but I think you need to ask yourself why you were pandering to and waiting on a grown man in the first place.

OP this man wants a slave not a wife and child.
He doesn’t care .
I don’t know what your financial situation is but he’s shown he is cruel entitled and unreliable.
Speak to your mum , use the support of your family to stop being financially reliant and divorce this man.
I would be very careful regarding custody of your son, he seems very untrustworthy

Honestly your baby boy will have a far better role model with him gone! I honesty think this is the worst example of man child I have heard of on mn, I've been on here for 6 years and that's saying a lot!

Pack his bag for him and say cheerio!

Can you start getting divorce paperwork ready before he goes?

Super, good riddance

Off you fuck

He has had the audacity to call me and ask me to book his flight for him!!!

^^

Might not actually be that audacious

Yes, I don't understand this. I hope you don't bring your little boy up to expect the same from the women in his life

OP, let him go, in fact push him out of the door, he sounds utterly despicable. Unortunately you have created a monster here by prioritising the needs and demands of this spoilt man child and now that he has been expected to show a little bit of responsibility he's thrown his toys out of the pram.
Good riddance to him, you and your baby boy will be so much happier without him, but as a previous poster said, perhaps start collating the paperwork for divorce proceedings before he leaves.

Does he need help packing? He sounds awful.

Probably his mum

Dont take this the wrong way but why did you marry him you must have seen some big red flags beforehand.
I wouldnt even chase him for CM.
Tell him to hurry up and pack and piss off.

Wow I’m surprised you’ve not kicked him out already!

Him leaving will be the best thing for you.

You’re already a single parent but just have the added stress of him on top.

Of course being a single parent will be more difficult than a 2 parent family but you will find the benefits outweigh the cons.

Make sure you hide/get rid of the baby’s passport if they’ve got one and help this twat pack his bags to get him out the door quicker.

👍👍👍 zero loss to you. In fact, you may well find your life infinitely more enjoyable without the selfish prick.

Yes, he is a complete eejit!

Good fucking riddance to him.

In a few months you'll be relieved your husband left and won't miss him at all. The demands he's making of you are not possible when you also have a child. I always am so surprised how many men like this manage to get such lovely wives who wait on them hand and foot! All the best op.

There are so many threads like this, where women marry these men from a different culture and have issues like this. What country is he from? One where women are beneath him and treated like dirt on his shoe?

What a total tosser. You can't even leave the baby with him to have time to yourself to sleep or even paint your nails if you wanted!! He can't be trusted to look after your son, hold him properly or even change his nappy...
What use is he to you or to anyone???. Help him to get his lazy bastard ass out of the house and out of your life. Your son is your priority and needs you - hes probably jealous!

Good riddance

Every time you feel insecure or overwhelmed when you're on your own, remember that when he was present you still felt overwhelmed and coped. He's shown you that you can do it alone. Would you ignore your baby crying? Risk their life by sleeping unsafe or wrapping them in blankets? Leave them in a dirty nappy to get sore? Someone who does that doesn't deserve to parent

Your baby deserves better than that, and so do you. You have done 2 months of newborn really hard stage alone, with him mostly a hinderance, so you are truly capable of being a single parent and will do a great job, and know your child is safe with you - and without him. Good luck!

God, he sounds awful.

I know it probably doesn't feel like it now, but him leaving will be the best thing that happens to you. You'll see.