Is this weird behaviour? BF physically moves me to the side.

[powerfullymoving]

We have been dating for about 7/8 months exclusively and it has been lovely, no complaints.

But I've noticed lately that a couple of times, always when we are in his house, always by the staircase where I live my things (shoes, coats, bag etc) and we are both getting ready to leave, and he needs to go upstairs or he is coming from upstairs, or he needs to get past me and I'm on the way and did have enough awareness to move, he holds me with both hands and simply moves me to the side - I think at the beginning of the relationship, he might have said 'excuse me' I don't exactly remember.

I don't recall anyone doing this to me before so it struck me as odd behaviour. It is not abrupt and he doesn't do it in a rude way, it seems like he does it in a practical way but he has such lovely manners all the time that this really stands out as weird.

What do you think?

Why don’t you just say to him, erm just ask me to move if you need to get past?

Very odd behaviour and not nice at all.

It reminds me of dealing with a naught child aged about 5

Sure, thanks
However I'm not asking for advice what to do / say

I'm wondering if people also think it is odd

I guess it's a little odd but it sounds like you're aware that you're often getting ready in an inconvenient spot, so why not just move your things to a different place away from the stairs? He might be getting frustrated with it.

Yes it's odd. And rude. Give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him to use his words instead of his hands. If he ignores you and continues to manhandle you then end it.

Why do you stand in front of the staircase? It sounds like you are in the way, constantly when he's trying to get ready to go out.

I think he's just being practical, although he could probably say 'excuse me'. I'd find you irritating, to be honest. It's like people who stand in doorways. You obviously know you're in the way, and there's clearly room to stand somewhere else if he moves you into it. Can't you just get ready out of the way?

It’s a way of communicating that doesn’t interrupt any spoken conversation or trains of thought. I’d give it a bit longer and see how you feel. It wouldn’t bother me. We do it as a family. It’s intimate. I wouldn’t do it to someone outside the family I don’t think.

Yes, great idea and he has never suggest for me to put the stuff somewhere else, but next time I will put everything upstairs and get ready there and if he asks why the change I will explain why

My rule of thumb is “Does he do the same thing to his mates? Would he do it to his boss? His parents? “

He is unlikely to be so physically intimate with those people though. You don't put your hands on your bosses body

If it bothers you, have you told him? It's ok not to like it.
I do it to my partner but there is a running joke about their lack of awareness of others and standing in the way. Usually a doorway. Faffing. Drives me mad (but not enough to LTB)

To answer some questions upthread, his house has a very weird layout so and as soon as I get in the staircase is there so I remove bag, coat, shoes etc and found a spot by the staircase where it fits well but yes I will find another spot.

I'm the kind of person who absolutely do my best to not obstruct the way but it in front f doors, in and out of pubic transport, pavements, etc and taught my chalked the same, also I worked with children and taught them to be aware.

Yesterday we were cooking in his kitchen which is small and weird layout and we were in each other's way a lot but there were no issues at all, it ws like a dance, it is only at the getting ready time that this happens - but I will find a new spot and see how it goes.

Lift him up and put him in his place.

I don't think it's weird. My husband would move me like this & I do the same. My kitchen is small, and he always seems to be in the fecking way. I think it more gentle than an exasperated ' scuse out the way'

I would hate this, you are not an object to be moved out of the way. Where’s his bloody manners? Is saying “excuse me” beneath him?

It does sound as though you are constantly in his way to be honest and as someone else said, if there's another place to stand that doesn't block him then why don't you just stand there?

Would you mind sharing what is weird about the layout of his kitchen and whats weird about the layout of his house?

It’s an annoy behavioural quirk. I bet you have some too.

He’s unlikely to be physically intimate with a child either, but I’ve seen a man do it to a child.

Being “physically intimate” with someone doesn’t remove all boundaries and make it ok to do anything physical you like to them.

Picking someone up bodily and moving them because they are in your way is not something you do to someone you consider an equal. It’s the kind of thing you might do to an object.

You’d say “excuse me” to a person, wouldn’t you?

This being Mumsnet though I’m surprised people aren’t posting to ask why she keeps getting in his way.

I think I do this?? It avoids that annoying thing where you both move to the same place several times!

He is treating you like a minor obstruction to be simply moved out of the way so he can proceed. King of the castle and all that.

Has he ever done anything like it when round at yours?

Who do you do it to?

Strangers? Your boss? Your mates? Your dad?

Me and my husband do this to eachother , usually when we can't be bothered to speak ! It doesn't bother us . I think once it irritated me and I said ' use your words '

No
As I said it is only at that particular place in his house when we are getting ready to leave and never anywhere else

I really wouldn't like it. He could either ask you to move politely, or just wait. It's not something a woman would do to anther women I don't think, it's the very definition of manhandling.

It is hard for me to explain with words but the staircase are by 3 doors to 3 different rooms and the little hallway to other set of stairs to go out and the kitchen is small with one fixed table and one fixed counter right in the middle but perpendicular to each other