Is this weird behaviour? BF physically moves me to the side.

[powerfullymoving]

We have been dating for about 7/8 months exclusively and it has been lovely, no complaints.

But I've noticed lately that a couple of times, always when we are in his house, always by the staircase where I live my things (shoes, coats, bag etc) and we are both getting ready to leave, and he needs to go upstairs or he is coming from upstairs, or he needs to get past me and I'm on the way and did have enough awareness to move, he holds me with both hands and simply moves me to the side - I think at the beginning of the relationship, he might have said 'excuse me' I don't exactly remember.

I don't recall anyone doing this to me before so it struck me as odd behaviour. It is not abrupt and he doesn't do it in a rude way, it seems like he does it in a practical way but he has such lovely manners all the time that this really stands out as weird.

What do you think?

Same - I don’t think it’s rude at all.

My boyfriend and I do this to each other. I don't think it's rude.

Sounds to me like it just means he is comfortable enough with you to not need to communicate everything verbally

My husband does this to me, I find it sexy 😂 he would be very nonplussed to be told off about it

I do this to my DH, to me it’s more intimate than a formal excuse me. Worried he thinks it’s rude now!

Me and DH live in a small house with narrow corridors and do this. We’re often chatting and getting ready and to interrupt and say “excuse me” would be stranger than just moving past one another.

It's weird, but could be a quirk rather than abuse.

My DH used to this to me in shops when another person came near the rack I was looking at. He'd put his hands on my shoulders & gently try to move me away, but he'd tel me 'babe, someone else wants to look'. He has been raised strictly to always be polite to others but didn't stop to think how rude he was being to me. I literally just told him to stop - the other woman & I were not newbies at shopping & knew how to share looking at a rack of clothes! He no longer does it.

Sex

It clearly isn't sexist, since I do it to DH and loads of other posters say they do it to their partners. It is communicating by touch not voice. Touch as a method of communication has become almost taboo in recent years. Touch is now seen as either sexual or controlling, when in fact it can contain a host of subtler meanings.

Hmm. I read the description of it later in the thread - and it doesn’t sound like a red flag to me, as another poster said. It sounds fine and somewhat caring.
but I’m a dancer, and I guess I’m (maybe?) more receptive to communication with physical touch? Idk.

it doesn’t sound awful. The main thing is : if it truly bothers you, tell him so. If you want him to use his words, use yours too. That’s how people get to know what each other needs.

My DH used to have an annoying habit of physically “guiding” me when he thought I was in the way of someone in the street. It drove me insane and I told him. He would still do it occasionally until I started doing the same to him and he realised how patronising it was.

I saw a clip of Brad Pitt doing the same to Angelina Jolie at the Oscars one year and you can see her mouthing “I can walk myself!” to him 🤣

Out of interest, OP, are you a bit of a chatterbox? I will sometimes do this to my wife, but only because she's almost always talking and it's easier than interrupting her to ask her to move. (She also manages to be permanently in my way! 😂)

@AmaryllisChorus @Hayworth So it's not just my wife that does this! It's uncanny how they are always blocking the exact cupboard or drawer you need, isn't it?!

I do this to my DH when he’s ground to a halt somewhere totally inconvenient and we’re in a hurry. So I wouldn’t think this is odd. But the only person’s thoughts that matter on this are yours. If you don’t like it raise it with him.

Thanks

For the ppl saying they would find me irritating

Let’s say I’m standing there and could potentially be blocking 4 places - the kitchen, his bedroom, the spare bedroom where he keeps a lot of stuff and the staircase - toilet is upstairs - I have no way to know which of the 4 ways he plans to go next and that is why I might be blocking the way sometimes - even though I’m more ready than he is, I might be still adjusting my scarf, hat, putting gloves on, closing my coat, checking my bag or phone. Usually once I’m 100% ready I move closer to the exit. Granted I could do those things above closer to the exit already, it just didn’t cross my mind.

So next time, I will either store everything bar shoes upstairs and keep my shoes close to the exit so that will be the last thing or will ask him to make space in his spare room which is super full.

I suppose in the spring / summer there will be less faff.

It does not feel abusive, but it is weird as I dont recall other ppl doing it to me - I dont remember what other partners did in the past

Interesting to learn that some woman do similar to their male partners too

I think it is quite common when you are in a physical relationship. I have had it done to me and I do it to other people in family. Only to people I am very close to and never to my boss though! There are quite a few things I do with my partner that I wouldn’t do with my boss!

It's rude and dehumanising, treating you like an object rather than a human being.

Maybe I'm an old romantic but I'd interpret this is a sexy way! It reminds me of friends when Joey picked up Rachel when she's in his way and it makes her all giggly.

Is there a chance he thinks it's more sweet and romantic to physically move you rather than saying excuse me, like he'd say to anyone else?

I don’t think I would even really notice this. As long as he isn’t angry or irritated and is gentle, which it sounds as though is the case, I wouldn’t really class it as much difference from saying ‘excuse me’ to get you to move out of the way to be honest.
If it bothers you though, tell him. I’m sure it’ll be no big deal for him to stop.

I honestly wouldn't be bothered by this, especially given everything else is good and he's not being overly physical. I'd probably get frustrated if it were me and be saying 'why are you always on my bloody way???' 😂 Obviously if it bugs you mention it, but I really don't find it odd.

I would not do it to others either; so I suppose it's pretty personal.

I feel this way too.

It would be weird/a bad sign if you told him you didn’t like it and he continued to do it though.

If this is the only time it happens, I'd say it was a quirk.

My partner and I sometimes do it to each other. Usually if one of us is talking and the other either doesn't want to interrupt by saying 'excuse me'.

It can also happen because one of us is thinking about something - usually logistics if we're going out - and lack the cognitive function at that time to stop and say something.

Which might also explain why you don't always realise you're in the way and are repeatedly getting in the way in the same place and at the same time. Your mind is on other things.

Some people are OK with it and find it affectionate, others do not. If you do not why have you not said can you not do this? As others have said perhaps being more aware of where you are standing might be needed.

My OH did this, I asked him not to, he stopped!