Should I give in? Sex after pregnancy

[WhiteLinen784]

I was advised against sex at end of pregnancy, baby nearly 8 weeks old now, had all clear from doctors. Had a terrible time post birth with infection.

My husband just keeps going with the comments about how he's not getting anything, his needs, how I'm acting selfish. I wear dresses/tights for ease of breastfeeding and he's forever trying to pull it up, look up it and now because of this everything he gets close I just get the ick and want to move away from him. Is this normal post birth?

Honestly no, this is pressured/coercive sex. You absolutely don’t have to and your husband is being completely unreasonable. I’d honestly consider leaving if my husband did this.

I’m sorry, I hope you’re ok.

Tell him to F off. When you’re ready you are ready. He’s acting like a petulant child

Jesus Christ. What a pig.

No of course it’s not. He’s absolutely disgusting. What was he like before you were pregnant? Has he always been a nasty sex pest or is it new behaviour? It sounds awful for you, you need to explain very clearly that he needs to get his fucking hands off you. After that sort of behaviour I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with him again and couldn’t stay with someone like that.

Your husband needs to be read the riot act. That's awful behaviour.

Sex was weird and uncomfortable (everything was feeling funny down there) for months after birth, for me. I needed my partner to be very careful and to use more lubricant or it was painful. I also just didn't feel like it.

Your husband sounds completely unable to give you that level of consideration. He is being a selfish idiot.

Ugh he is gross. "Needs" indeed! How about your baby's need to be fed and your need to heal? Or doesn't he care that he has a family? And only that he has a dick?

This is coercive and if he persists in having sex with you when you have made it clear that you don’t want it, then it is rape.

Please speak to your midwife. Text her and delete your sent text afterwards or leave her a voicemail. She will know what to do and will be able to support you.

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby ❤️

Is he taking the ACTUAL PISS???

I’ve gotten the “ick” just reading your post!

Good Lord. When I had an 8 week old I might have punched my husband for even looking at me in a sexual way. Your husband sounds like a giant baby who can't handle your attention being elsewhere. He has no right to your body just because you are married, and him coercing you into sex is disgusting. I don't know about your relationship but no you shouldn't 'give in' until you are ready.

I'm sorry you are married to such a pervy twat.

That's made me be sick in my mouth.

How awful.

Has he always been a dreadful person?

I'm so sorry you are being put through this OP. Can you stay with family for a while to stay safe?

This is not normal at all and he does not sound like a safe partner ☹️.

His behavior isn’t normal but yes, your behavior is … don’t blame you not wanting to be near him he’s not being respectful to you on any way.

doesn't sound like the behaviour and attitude of someone who loves you.
does it.
isn't that a pre-requisite of marriage.

This is not normal and not acceptable. Please talk to someone about this - HV perhaps? Your husband needs to grow up. He’s a dad now and his ‘needs’ come much further down the list.

Thank you everyone for your replies

I have tried talking to him, he backs off for a day and then starts again. Every other comment is about sex or lack of and how he's neglected.

@AnneLovesGilbert he wasn't as bad pre pregnancy but we would have been doing more I guess, not that it makes his behaviour ok now!

I've gone back to telling him I'm on my period but getting questions about the severity of that now.

I agree with everyone else. He does not sound like a safe partner

He’s disgusting, just disgusting.

You need support from your HV - I would disclose that you’re being pressured into sex.

I would have told mine that we’re done if it doesn’t stop.

He's not a good man
Can you leave? You're not safe there

That's not right! Looking up your dress is weird.

The comments are abusive.

This is awful.
My DH left well alone after birth until I told him I was ready.

I agree with others that your husband is being disgusting and inconsiderate.
I do remember though at my six week check after a very very difficult birth which left me unable to sit or walk for two weeks afterwards, the consultant expressed shock that I hadn’t yet had sex and urged me to do it very soon. A man of course.

You'll still be healing down there. Tell him absolutely no!

This.

He is despicable OP. Truly.

He sounds like a fkg idiot and sex pest.

And utterly selfish.