What have I done for ex to hate me like he does?

[turnitonon]

Me and my ex had a bad breakup 4 years ago.
He did the bad things to me,I did him no wrong.
After we broke up,stupidly we started speaking even tho we knew to stay away.
Eventually we cut ties,I deleted him off social media except for Facebook -I just deleted my account.
It's been 4 years now and I'm engaged and live with my fiance and we have just bought a house.
I'm in a good place and I reactivated my Facebook.
Uploaded some recent pics of us and started using my Facebook.
My ex was still on my fb and after 4 years all my upset was gone and I didn't feel the need to remove him.
A week he viewed my fb stories
I posted Nothing exciting ,just me and fiance,our weekend away,a few pics of our house.
Anyway it took a week I noticed my friends went down ,had a feeling it was him and it was -he deleted me.
Now bare in mind his fb is full of ex's (when we were together he told me he didn't delete them as no point )
We have Facebook mutual friends with another of his ex,women he slept with (he wishes them happy birthday)

I don't understand how he did me wrong,ruined any chance of happiness with us,yet he is the one deleting me.
I thought after 4 years and our memories ,maybe we could of just been civil (well not civil but not hate enough to have to remove each other off fb )
Why ?
I don't get it

Why would you care he mistreated you and you have moved on isn't it a good thing he removed himself?

I think OP was hoping she could post lots of photos of their home and happy, loved up life, so he could see just how over him she is…

Sadly I think so too, she wanted him to see, and is really gutted that he isn’t looking.

It's been four years

How the hell do you know he's still got all sorts of EXs on his FB unless you've looked?

And if you have been looking that closely at his FB, I'm not surprised if he noticed and got rid.

It doesn't mean he hates you. It means you're irrelevant to him now.

And I'm not so sure the same can be said of you about him. Because not only did you notice he's deleted you, you cared enough about the deletion to invent his motivation and then post here about it.

Why do you think it’s strange he has an acquaintance on Facebook but doesn’t want you?

An ex it different to someone you met once. People often simply don’t want contact with exs.

The post above betrays you. You reactivated FB for your ex and you haven’t got what you wanted. Which was a to prove a point to him.

You are not over that relationship..

I think you should Let your finance read what you have posted here, word for word.

OP, sounds like the relationship with your ex was really damaging to you and this new contact has triggered old fears and feelings.

I think it might help to talk it over with a counsellor or therapist because clearly it's affecting you.

I don't think you're still in love with him; I suspect you have some unresolved trauma from that time. It’s a good idea to deal with this so you can let it go and enjoy your current relationship.

There’s nothing to suggest he hates you. Which puts your other claims about his behaviour into perspective. You seem prone to hyperbole.

He’s over it, you should move on too or break off your engagement as this level of obsession over an ex isn’t healthy. Or fair on your current bloke.

Yes I've already said I wanted after the way he treated me to see me happy.
That's not a crime and I don't feel guilty about that one bit ,anyone who says they've never thought that one time in their life is a liar.
He has ex's on there and one night stands -it's only me he can't stand to see.
My question was what I had done to make him hate me that much (when he was the one who hurt me not the other way around)

There's nothing to suggest he hates you, though. That's something you've made up in your head. And that's the thing you need to be asking yourself about - why are you holding on to this person? Is it unresolved trauma? A desire for revenge? A need to make sense of how he treated you? Closure?

Whatever it is, he can't give you any answers. You need to forget him and focus on yourself.

I'm not entirely sure
I don't know why it bothers me
I guess it's the feeling that these women are good enough to have some sort of "connection " with yet I'm not
Which is how he made me feel for 2 years
Not good enough

What a load of drama.
unfriending someone from Facebook does not mean you hate them. It could even be that he thought you’d blocked him and then decided to unblock him when you wanted him to see how happy you are to make him jealous.

if your fiancé has any sense he’ll get out now.

Mores to the point, who cares?!

If you're really not that bothered, why go to the trouble of making a thread about it?
Agree with PP. You need to have a think about getting married if you're giving headspace to someone/something this trivial.

This.

@Dexterrolledoffthesofa I clearly said it bothers me and it gets under my skin
Hence posting
This forum is full of pointless threads but not pointless to the person making the thread ...hence making it

It’s tricky op. Some people do get under your skin like that. But there is no “win”, only your own peace with your own life. You’ll never be able to “show him” or have the last laugh.

You’ll never know why he unfriended you. Maybe because he was upset to see you happy; maybe because he doesn’t care to see your updates.

You don’t have control over any of that, all you have control over is how you decide to feel and react to this. If I were you, I would block him and hopefully all that will help you forget all about it.

Good luck with your nicer life, OP!

You need to reframe how you're thinking about this. Your ex does not determine if you're "good enough" for anything. He treated you horribly - why would you want to be "good enough" for that?

The truth is that you're too good for him. He knows that there's no point trying to hoover you, so he's stepped away. You don't offer any opportunity for him to further abuse you so he's not interested. That's all.

Have a look at some resources online about emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse and so on. You need to stop giving this man any space in your life, so equip yourself with insight and understanding about what your relationship actually was.

No good turn goes unpunished

It bothers you because he isn’t begging you to come back to him! He’s moved on and isn’t interested in you now and it’s really annoyed you…you posted photos of your house, fiancé etc and it didn’t mean a thing to him. You WANTED him to be jealous and he isn’t. That’s what all this angst about, the fact he doesn’t care. Nothing more than that really 🤷🏼‍♀️He doesn’t hate you, he just doesn’t care.

@usedtobeasizeten I would never want him back
My fiance is a million times the better man
That's not it at all

If he wasn't affected at all wouldn't he just leave me on there ?
He has over a thousand friends on there
Why would he particularly remove me and leave Bob who used to work in the local butchers 16 years ago (obviously just using that as a example )
I've got people on mine who I don't even know to say hi ,people who walk past me in the street

If someone disappeared from my facebook and then just popped up again four years later posting about how happy they were to be with such a wonderful person etc I would assume they’d initially blocked me and had unblocked me to try to upset me with their oh so wonderful life comments.

I don’t have time for that kind of game playing so I would unfriend them.

And if someone here posted about how upset her fiancé was that his ex had removed him from facebook she would be told that he wasn’t over her and not to marry him.

And really, do people look to see how many friends they’ve got on fb and then go through them all when the number drops to see who it was?

For someone that doesn't care, you seem to have spent a lot of time going through his friends list to see who is still on it.

Because you went back on there to play games to make him jealous.

Honestly OP you need to grow up.

Your life isn’t that interesting to your ex. he doesn’t care. Doesn’t mean he hates you, it just means he isn’t interested in your suddenly having popped up to convince the world of how happy you are.

And you clearly aren’t, because you’re not over him yet.

So the question is, who are you trying to convince?

He is an ex you haven’t spoken to in at least 4 years, why do you care that he has deleted you?
your title “what have I done to make my ex hate me” I thought it was going to be a bit more serious than he’s just deleted you of fb. I wouldn’t waste my time thinking about it.