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Original poster

What have I done for ex to hate me like he does?

118 replies

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 19:13

Me and my ex had a bad breakup 4 years ago.
He did the bad things to me,I did him no wrong.
After we broke up,stupidly we started speaking even tho we knew to stay away.
Eventually we cut ties,I deleted him off social media except for Facebook -I just deleted my account.
It's been 4 years now and I'm engaged and live with my fiance and we have just bought a house.
I'm in a good place and I reactivated my Facebook.
Uploaded some recent pics of us and started using my Facebook.
My ex was still on my fb and after 4 years all my upset was gone and I didn't feel the need to remove him.
A week he viewed my fb stories
I posted Nothing exciting ,just me and fiance,our weekend away,a few pics of our house.
Anyway it took a week I noticed my friends went down ,had a feeling it was him and it was -he deleted me.
Now bare in mind his fb is full of ex's (when we were together he told me he didn't delete them as no point )
We have Facebook mutual friends with another of his ex,women he slept with (he wishes them happy birthday)

I don't understand how he did me wrong,ruined any chance of happiness with us,yet he is the one deleting me.
I thought after 4 years and our memories ,maybe we could of just been civil (well not civil but not hate enough to have to remove each other off fb )
Why ?
I don't get it

OP posts:
sonjadog · 08/02/2024 20:50

He hasn't thought about you for years, and then you started posting again and updates are popping up from someone who he isn't interested in and he thought "Oh yeah, her. I'm not interested in these" and deleted you.

Original poster
turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:00

My point is his Facebook is full of people who he doesn't really know /exs/people he's slept with -didn't feel the need to delete any
I have so many randoms on mine and none I would bother to delete
To me it makes no sense

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 08/02/2024 21:02

How on earth are you getting "he hates me" from this?

Chances are he saw your posts pop up after 4 years of no contact, thought "oh are we still friends? Weird." and just deleted you. I've deleted people for similar reasons. No hate at all, total indifference in fact.

Why are you even giving this headspace? I would not be impressed if I was your fiance and knew that you'd been hoping to reconnect with your ex (because let's be real, you wanted him to notice your posts, that's the only reason you noticed he deleted you) or that it was bothering you this much that said ex is not interested in any sort of friendship or relationship with you.

mathanxiety · 08/02/2024 21:03

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 19:30

It's not that I'm bothered and I won't loose any sleep over it ,it's just the irony that he ruined things and it's almost like he's the victim.
He always had the ability to get under my skin.
He has all of his ex's but can't seem to stomach me.

The simple answer is that he's a twat.

Move on.

Be happy you're free.

Try not to let him get under your skin.

mathanxiety · 08/02/2024 21:05

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:00

My point is his Facebook is full of people who he doesn't really know /exs/people he's slept with -didn't feel the need to delete any
I have so many randoms on mine and none I would bother to delete
To me it makes no sense

You need to disengage.

Stop paying attention to his FB and the rest of his life.

You'll make yourself unhappy if you continue to give him headspace.

Original poster
turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:07

@MonsteraMama why leave his other ex's on ?
That's the only thing I didn't get

OP posts:
10ThousandSpoons · 08/02/2024 21:13

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:07

@MonsteraMama why leave his other ex's on ?
That's the only thing I didn't get

Why the fuck does it matter?

SkaneTos · 08/02/2024 21:14

You have a fiancé.
You are about to get married to the love of your life! That's wonderful.
Congratulations!
You get to spend the rest of your life with him.

Think about your fiancé.

Do not think about your ex.

sonjadog · 08/02/2024 21:14

Maybe those random people don't post very often and he hasn't noticed them? Or maybe he still has an interest in them but not in you. Who knows? Who cares? Stop looking at his profile and you won't know who he is friends or not with. You are engaged to another man, presumably a man that you love and want a future with. Use your energy and time on that. Why do you care who your ex is friends or not friends with on FB? It really, really isn't worth a single moment's thought.

Anjea · 08/02/2024 21:14

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:07

@MonsteraMama why leave his other ex's on ?
That's the only thing I didn't get

Why are you obsessively checking? Are you sure you're ready to be getting married to someone else?

kerrythal · 08/02/2024 21:15

Maybe he's done for his own well-being - he lost you by being stupid and seeing you makes him sad in a way that his exes and ONS don't?

IncognitoUsername · 08/02/2024 21:16

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:07

@MonsteraMama why leave his other ex's on ?
That's the only thing I didn't get

If he’s taken you off then how do you know he has 7 other exs on there?

10ThousandSpoons · 08/02/2024 21:16

SkaneTos · 08/02/2024 21:14

You have a fiancé.
You are about to get married to the love of your life! That's wonderful.
Congratulations!
You get to spend the rest of your life with him.

Think about your fiancé.

Do not think about your ex.

Edited

Is her fiance the love of her life? Sounds like she's not over her ex to me

ElevenSeven · 08/02/2024 21:20

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 21:07

@MonsteraMama why leave his other ex's on ?
That's the only thing I didn't get

Maybe he’s still shagging them

SkaneTos · 08/02/2024 21:21

@10ThousandSpoons
That was kind of what I was hinting at...

Most people who are happily engaged to be married don't spend a lot of time sitting around thinking about their ex from four years ago who treated them badly.

10ThousandSpoons · 08/02/2024 21:36

SkaneTos · 08/02/2024 21:21

@10ThousandSpoons
That was kind of what I was hinting at...

Most people who are happily engaged to be married don't spend a lot of time sitting around thinking about their ex from four years ago who treated them badly.

Ah sorry missed the hint

I do agree though, I don't think OP should be getting married

SkaneTos · 08/02/2024 22:30

@10ThousandSpoons
I was not very clear.

And yes. It's a good idea for OP to think about whether or not she is ready for marriage, when the ex is living rent free in her head.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 08/02/2024 23:16

Such a bizarre perspective.

You think he's playing the victim and hates you because he deleted you off Facebook?!

Honestly, he probably saw you pop up, had a nosy - just like you did - and then deleted you because what's the point? He's not your friend and he never will be.

Watchkeys · 08/02/2024 23:19

He always had the ability to get under my skin

It's your skin. Your responsibility. People will do things that don't make sense to you; how you deal with it is your issue. This isn't about why he does what he does. This is about your insecurities.

He's a man you had a relationship with, who now doesn't want to be your facebook friend. It's like something from school.

What does your partner think about the fact that you've posted this thread? Does he know? If not, why not mention it to him?

altmember · 09/02/2024 00:01

You should come off Facebook again. I don't think it's healthy for you.

Newbiex · 09/02/2024 00:07

turnitonon · 08/02/2024 19:13

Me and my ex had a bad breakup 4 years ago.
He did the bad things to me,I did him no wrong.
After we broke up,stupidly we started speaking even tho we knew to stay away.
Eventually we cut ties,I deleted him off social media except for Facebook -I just deleted my account.
It's been 4 years now and I'm engaged and live with my fiance and we have just bought a house.
I'm in a good place and I reactivated my Facebook.
Uploaded some recent pics of us and started using my Facebook.
My ex was still on my fb and after 4 years all my upset was gone and I didn't feel the need to remove him.
A week he viewed my fb stories
I posted Nothing exciting ,just me and fiance,our weekend away,a few pics of our house.
Anyway it took a week I noticed my friends went down ,had a feeling it was him and it was -he deleted me.
Now bare in mind his fb is full of ex's (when we were together he told me he didn't delete them as no point )
We have Facebook mutual friends with another of his ex,women he slept with (he wishes them happy birthday)

I don't understand how he did me wrong,ruined any chance of happiness with us,yet he is the one deleting me.
I thought after 4 years and our memories ,maybe we could of just been civil (well not civil but not hate enough to have to remove each other off fb )
Why ?
I don't get it

I think the fact he's deleted you says alot. Maybe he finds it hard to see your life has moved on, maybe he still has feelings for you and cares so deleting you and not being able to see is what's best for him.
He could of also done it purposely to try get inside your head. Playing a game with you.
Some people love to play the victim in a situation they created, just be glad you're out of it x

Watchkeys · 09/02/2024 00:14

I think the fact he's deleted you says alot. Maybe he finds it hard to see your life has moved on, maybe he still has feelings for you and cares so deleting you and not being able to see is what's best for him
He could of also done it purposely to try get inside your head. Playing a game with you
Some people love to play the victim in a situation they created, just be glad you're out of it

Or... maybe he just stopped being her friend because... he didn't want to be her friend? Occam's Razor.

Fizzadora · 09/02/2024 00:15

What on earth is the matter with you? Why are you even giving this headspace?
You really need to grow up and move on.

YouDoYouHun · 09/02/2024 00:25

He'd forgotten you existed.....you popped up again and he decided he didn't want to see anything else from you for whatever reason.

He could have lied about the exs/more of a connection than he let on/he mutes them/they didn't disappear and pop back up years later so he's always had them there and is used to it....they blend into everyone else. Maybe if you'd stayed friends on there all along you'd be the same, maybe not, who knows and you really shouldn't care that much its not that deep. You're engaged. Not to him. He's an ex and is removing himself from your life further. What's the issue. If anything it's a good thing

Burntouted · 09/02/2024 00:26

You're truly not over him..work towards moving on...perhaps single. This isn't fair to your new partner.. your partner needs to know the truth, and you should tell him..

You're not over your ex, and you perhaps are spying on him on social media. Him blocking you, moving on, and living his life shouldn't be a concern of yours.

You're obviously bothered and deeply effected...perhaps you are unaware or in denial.

If he were to reach out, you'd probably answer.

Also, the both of you were responsible for the demise and ending of things..each to some degree.

I'd suggest you figure such things out.