Yes or no to partner going to a strip club

[shatteredL]

Just curious really as me and my partner discussed it earlier out of the blue (we're not engaged and don't plan to be🤣)

Would you be okay with your partner going to a strip club and having a lap dance on their stag do, if they were honest about it and didn't try to conceal etc?

Would you say "God some people are so judgy" if you came on here and confessed to any other form of sexual exploitation and people condemned you for it?

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to comment. I wasn't looking for a debate, I understand people will have different reasonings for being okay with it/not okay with it. I will certainly go away and do some research regarding the industry as I'm clearly not clued up enough ☺️

@Sunshine322
I realise I just assumed that you and most people on here are English and that might not be the case 😅

Given that 88% of people in the sex industry are women, I suspect you're wrong

Given that 88% of people in the sex industry are women, I suspect you're wrong

No would not be OK.

I just find that hard to believe. (But of course do have plenty of empathy for males in the sex industry who are underage/groomed/trafficked/drug-addicted/have children to support/are or have been victims of sexual or domestic abuse …)

The question isn't whether it's okay to go to such a place, it's whether you want to marry a man who is comfortable to objectify women. Whether it's a Stag party is completely irrelevant. How clichéd, unimaginative and boorish too.

My husband of 20 years goes to strip clubs 3 or 4 times a year. When I am meeting my girlfriends in town, he will visit a strip club with my blessing.

We have been doing this for over 20 years, and I trust him because he is faithful.

He has been visiting these clubs since the mid-90s all over the UK and some in Europe.

Some will say that women are being objectified or commodities, but I can tell you that many o the dancers are actually quite strong-willed individuals themselves and know what they are doing.

He has always had an eye for the ladies but he has never been unfaithful. Even before I met him, his previous 3 GFs have said that he was always faithful to them.

The key thing is that there has to be equal trust, fidelity and honesty within a couple

Our sex-life is still very much alive and our relationship remains as strong as ever.

The last weekend of every month we leave our kids with family or friends and just use that time with each other doing activities, e.g. theatre, museums, dancing lessons, sports activities, foodie events and we always indulge in sexual activities.

We keep it fresh, we love each other and we are IN love with each other.

I would suggest that if you trust your partner, then let him enjoy the occasion. If you don't trust him, why are you with him then.

Hard no from me. Unacceptable.

It doesn’t have to be anything to do with trust. It can be very simply that you just find it disgusting and sleazy and wouldn’t be with someone who got their rocks off on that.

@JoseyRocks
Agree with @didimum that it doesn't have to be anything to do with trust.
Other people just have higher expectations for men or find that behaviour sleazy and it would turn them off him.

Not much point in a woman giving a man permission to go and enjoy getting sexually turned on by strippers if she's then turned off by him and finds him a bit pathetic and gross is there? 😂

@kkloo your last point has merit.

I can understand why some will think trust is not the issue but for me - personally - it does mean something. I know he is going to get entertained but is not looking for anything other than a dance.

@JoseyRocks
Any particular reason why you went searching for old threads on strippers? I see you also resurrected an old one from 6 months ago.

Also resurrected a thread to discuss your love of leather and how much your husband just loooooooves it 🙄🙄

Sad

Same here.

Hard no for me. I could never be attracted to a man who found sleazy objectifying of women acceptable.

Absolutely no, his stag or any night out. That would be the end for me. If you make your boundaries clear and they don’t respect them then for me it’s over.

How do people feel about Hen nights with male strippers?
They do seem quite popular.

Completely unequivalent power differential, but also grotesque. Having said that, I’ve been to more hen parties than I can count, of women of a variety of nationalities in different countries, doing a lot of different things, and precisely zero have involved strippers.

I personally think they're different because they're not sexy and it's normally about having a laugh and women don't generally get a sexual thrill from it.

I think the equivalent to a man going to a strip club on his stag is that a women on her hens gets to go out and be flirty with a man and get up close and personal and even grind on him etc...

God, this is perhaps one of the most depressing things I’ve ever read on mumsnet…

I must confess that i don’t know anything about male strippers or strip clubs.
To me they equate to the same thing.
Do the male strippers get totally naked?
If they do, then do they get an erection for instance?
For me, that would be totally crossing a line.

Op..never ask about strip clubs on MN

(Wouldn't bother me in the slightest and wouldn't bother him viceversa)

TBH, it's all about trust and boundaries between you two. When I went to Las Vegas Strip Club with some friends, it wasn’t this crazy thing people usually assume. We were just there to hang out and have a good time, and it wasn’t awkward or sketchy at all. The place had a fun vibe, the staff were cool, and it felt more like a casual night out than anything wild. If your partner’s comfortable with it and you're clear on expectations, it can just be a fun experience. No harm if everyone's on the same page.