Yes or no to partner going to a strip club

[shatteredL]

Just curious really as me and my partner discussed it earlier out of the blue (we're not engaged and don't plan to be🤣)

Would you be okay with your partner going to a strip club and having a lap dance on their stag do, if they were honest about it and didn't try to conceal etc?

He absolutely wont be doing any such thing 🤣🤣🤣

If you gyrated with very few clothes on the lap of another man for fun at your hen, would he think that was OK? No?
But the dilemma isn't "would your partner object to you getting a job as a lap dancer". My DH would not give a flip about me having a male stripper gyrate over me, as long as I didn't object. Of course, I wouldn't let it happen, but it's my prerogative to choose. As it it the prerogative of the performer to be an adult entertainer. Of course, choice is not a given in adult entertainment worldwide, but "gentlemen's" clubs in the UK/Vegas are pretty well regulated.

Nope. Grim as hell

That's a load of rubbish. Physical contact is always avoided in lap dancing clubs.

Newsflah ladies, they have all been to a strip club and they all enjoyed it. No matter what they say.

Nope nope nope!!! Never ok
🫣🫣🫣and I've been married 17 years!

Are you a straight woman?

because if so then what it does for you is not what it does for straight men. You could think it was dull but men could think it was the sexiest thing ever!

I'm a straight woman and I've got loads of lap dances at my chair dance classes, they're cool and fun to watch but don't do anything for me sexually obviously because I'm a straight woman!

I agree with @MrsTerryPratchett equivalent.

A lot of men who want lap dances would say that they are ok with their partner letting a male stripper gyrate on them....because a lot of male strippers are more jokey and not even sexy. I wouldn't get any sexual kick/thrill from that, but I might if I was allowed to gyrate on a man I fancied...so that would be the equivalent I would put forward!

Yuk. It's a no from me. Although I met him when we were a bit older so he's been there done that, I'd find it pretty sad and creepy if he did that now tbh!

All of this, I have no opinion of them but if my husband wanted to go to one I would shocked as I didn't arrange it but also would think he has overnight become sleazy so it would be over

"We've actually been to a strip club together pissed up in Prague haha"

Oh haha, what fun, haha. Fuck me 🙄

I think that’s one of the big differences between men and women. A lot of men wouldn’t care whether a woman actually wanted to sexually please them, much less bc the woman cared about them - they just want to be sexually pleased by them.

Difficult to imagine it the other way round but of course that can happen.

I think the PP’s who are essentially saying that if you asked a man who wanted a lap dance - bc it’s harmless fun - if they minded their other half performing a similar lap dance on a stranger in a pub or bar you’d see that they perhaps view it as a little more harmful after all, but the big difference is it would be harmful to them.

Hate double standards and view that it’s lads being lads and just something men do. These men would be pathetically insecure/enraged if they witnessed their partners doing this but it’s fine for them 🙄

God some people are so judgy! If it's not for you, that's fair enough.

For a stag do, it’s all about embarrassing and taking the piss out of the ‘stag’ , not getting sexual kicks. Completely different to a man who goes to a strip club on a regular basis. The strippers make a fortune and are having the last laugh. They could choose to get a regular, ‘normal’ job but stripping pays a lot better. As part of a stag party, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if my partner went to a strip club ( although at his age he wouldn’t even go on a stag do).

Sorry missed the bit about the stag do. Weirdly this would upset me even more as we would be getting married and that's almost like the lead up and part of the wedding festivities. Hard no, but I should add I'm quite a jealous type.

Fine by me if someone else’s stag and not something he likes to do on the regular. As long as it was a reputable club where they are sure this is the woman’s choice, plenty of them exist.

Wouldn’t bother me many many years ago worked in a bar which occasionally has strippers in the function room

At mens night the women who were stripping were 110% in charge strict rules and boundaries audience self policing as told anyone steps out of line and it’s show over

at women’s the male stripper love the attention the women were absolutely wild and think nothing off physically grabbing the stripper

as stupid as it sounds the atmosphere would just be it a laugh and not sexual even though there was someone there with no clothes on

as for lap dancing depends on the establishment some are well managed strictly no touching others are basically a knocking shop

I find the commodification of women and their bodies absolutely disgusting, plus I’d consider any naked (or near naked!) woman grinding on my husband to be cheating, so a private lapdance would be completely unacceptable to me. I accept that he goes with the crowd to strip clubs on a stag do on occasion when there’s no other option to go elsewhere, and he does do that sometimes, there’s a few of them who feel uncomfortable going to strip clubs… and who’d rather get cheaper beer elsewhere while the others make dicks of themselves! I don’t like it, but neither does he really. I know a lot of people would say he’s just saying what I want to hear, but I know him better.

I suspect that poster was judging (as am I) because of the possibility that the women in the club you and your boyfriend visited in Prague were being trafficked or otherwise exploited - and you treat it as a hahaha ‘look what a funny cool girlfriend I am’ laugh.

Just like you haven’t engaged with any of the comments about exploitation, commodification and objectification, paying for women’s bodies etc on this thread but only worried about whether the lap dancer might turn your boyfriend on.

I always find the comparisons with whether the woman would be allowed to watch a male stripper, or grind on another willing man to be a bit besides the point.

As other posters have said, whether the particular club in question was ‘regulated’, whether the particular dancer in question was actually that cliche people like to reassure themselves with - a middle class medical student ‘just paying her tuition and secretly laughing at the men’ - makes no odds to me. It’s fucking grim and potentially criminal and anyone willing to take that risk for the sake of their own entertainment/ titillation is not someone I’d marry, no.

It doesn't and hasn't bothered me if DH has been to a strip club! If he's stupid enough to spend his money on watching women dance round a pole then that's up to him.

I have also been to a (female) strip club and had a private dance.

I would only have an issue with it if he continually returned to the same girl and formed some kind of relationship with her

I'm not a fan of women being treated as commodities (consensually or not) so I wouldn't be keen from that perspective.

Prior to me holding that view my dh did go to strip clubs a few times when he was younger on stag dos etc and I wasn't bothered as I trust him.

The thing with the 'it's okay if his mates suggested it' is that quite often, they're organising it because he wants them to.

And if his mates want to do something, well, doesn't that show you what he wants to do? Men keep friends with similar interests and thoughts.

You cannot justify your partner not thinking a certain way because it's all down to his friends.

Oh, maybe he hates strip clubs and he's only going along with it for his mates. Yeah, right. Well, even if that's true, that means he's a doormat who can't stand up to people he disagrees with. Not an attractive trait either.

And what does trusting your partner mean? That he won't sleep with a stripper? Well, he wouldn't be able to. If he as much as tried to touch one, he'd get thrown out. Your trust is irrelevant because he wouldn't get the opportunity to do anything.

What it all comes down to is do you want to be with a man whose friends and him all think it's fun to go to a strip club and watch other women gyrate for money. The answer could be yes or no, but don't dress up the question any other way.

No. It's cheating, it's tacky and grim and it's the commodification of women's bodies. I would have no respect for any man who did this, whether he was in a relationship with me or not. And tbh I'd think less of a woman who was ok with it. Judgy? Yup. Some things merit judgment.

That's hilarious.

If we could just connect your wringing hands to the National Grid, the energy crisis would be over.