Boyfriend always booking holidays alone

[Alexanadra]

Can I get some feedback please?
My boyfriend and I are both in our 50s and 60s. I've been married with a child (60's) He has never married and am sure he has Autism ...either that or he's a narcissist. Since we met 2 years ago he just books holidays that come up on his FB feed several times a year and says I can come along' knowing full well I can't because I have a heart condition which causes me anxiety if the flight is very long or to a far flung place like Nepal for example (I need to be hospitalized,if my heart wont slow down)He has gone alone to places I say I'd love to go to and which I could possibly have gone to ..which has upset me. We don't do anything much together except have a meal together twice a week...once at his place and once at mine. I did go to Eastern Europe to meet him once...I pay for everything myself. I am so confused and hurt and wonder if I'm just selfish. I dont think he's ever spent a penny on me really...I got binbags for Christmas ! I'm really struggling with all this.

Dump him.
He’s selfish and not worth the bother.

Why are you with him OP? He sounds absolutely awful and totally selfish.

You deserve better

Bin bags for Christmas?
I’d have handed them back and told him to use them to pack any stuff he had at your house.

Do you live together? If not you're boyfriend/girlfriend so I'd expect you to book holidays yourselves individually.

Bin bags for Christmas??? That alone is a dumpable offence.

He gave you BIN BAGS?! OP, please, please leave this relationship, it will destroy your self- esteem to stay with someone who treats you with such contempt

Was the Eastern Europe trip a holiday too?

Why did he buy you bin bags for Christmas? Was it a joke alongside something else?

You don't sound like you like each other, why are you together?

Bin bags sounds odd. He just got you random bin bags? How did you react?

I don't think there's anything wrong with him booking the holidays he wants to go on, you said yourself he invites you along.

Ugh. Come on you can work this out. Leave him!

I don't see why he shouldn't go, tbh. If he wants to go to Nepal and you can't go anywhere because of your health conditions, is he never to go? And I also don't see why you wouldn't pay for your own travel when you do go.

I mean it is a pretty loose relationship, which presumably suits you both or why would you stay in it?

So OP does he book the holiday then say you can come after you mention it? That I would find rude - at least ask you first before booking. Paying for yourself I think is normal though.

Its the bin bags though I couldn’t get past

The holiday thing I get... it's unfortunate, but would you expect a traveller to not travel, simply because you can't.

The rest though, he's a dick.

What is with all these threads lately of women being absolute mugs and putting up with shitty behaviour?! Are they all real?!
If this is real then OP having a meal twice a week does not make someone your boyfriend.

You see nothing wrong with booking multiple holidays a year without even DISCUSSING with your partner beforehand?! Offering OP to come along after the fact is meaningless- what if would happily go and she could have made a week or two later but not at that particular time? Some posters standards, or lack thereof, are truly mind-boggling.

Op, please leave him. This is no way for anyone to be treated. Bin bags for Christmas??

Have you thought about how much better and happier your life would be without him?

He's not her partner though. He's a boyfriend she sees a couple of times a week.

Travelling long haul without you is perfectly reasonable - esp given that you can't travel. You can't expect him to never see the world because his girlfriend can't go on a plane surely.

The bin bags though - what was that about?

Why don't you tell him you'd like to go away with him a couple of times a year and can you both start planning a trip.

Unless he has no redeeming qualities at all in which case dump him.

You think the holidays are the main issue when the OP describes her boyfriend of two years as ‘autistic or a narcissist’ says they do nothing but have a meal together twice a week, once at each house, that he’s never spent a penny on her and gave her binbags for Christmas?

The issue is why the OP has spent two years in a relationship that isn’t working for her.

Traveling places you can't go? Fine.
You paying for yourself? Also fine.
Bin bags for Christmas? Hell no. Unless you have some sort of bin bag problem.

Forget about the holidays, you got Bing bags as a Christmas present, for that alone I would have dumped him.

I would not miss out on holiday destinations if my boyfriend couldn't or wouldn't travel with me.

However, bin bags for Christmas? He'd be the one in the bin along with his bin bags.

He’s not really a boyfriend, is he? He’s just someone you have dinner with once a week.