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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend always booking holidays alone

91 replies

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 08:25

Can I get some feedback please?
My boyfriend and I are both in our 50s and 60s. I've been married with a child (60's) He has never married and am sure he has Autism ...either that or he's a narcissist. Since we met 2 years ago he just books holidays that come up on his FB feed several times a year and says I can come along' knowing full well I can't because I have a heart condition which causes me anxiety if the flight is very long or to a far flung place like Nepal for example (I need to be hospitalized,if my heart wont slow down)He has gone alone to places I say I'd love to go to and which I could possibly have gone to ..which has upset me. We don't do anything much together except have a meal together twice a week...once at his place and once at mine. I did go to Eastern Europe to meet him once...I pay for everything myself. I am so confused and hurt and wonder if I'm just selfish. I dont think he's ever spent a penny on me really...I got binbags for Christmas ! I'm really struggling with all this.

OP posts:
CryptoFascist · 29/01/2024 17:15

Ah just dump him, he's barely a boyfriend.
If you find yourself doing research to work out why a person treats you badly, that's a waste of your time on earth.

Laypersons can't diagnose autism, that's why psychologists take several appointments and many long forms to fully diagnose. He might be autistic, more likely he is just a jerk.

SamW98 · 29/01/2024 17:17

Your gut is telling you this isn’t working OP even if it was great at the start, it’s obviously not now.

You don’t sound ready to accept it’s over as almost every comment you post is a ‘but’ and making excuses for him.

We can tell you til we’re blue in the face but only YOU can decide to walk

roses321 · 29/01/2024 17:26

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 16:58

I guess I know this in my heart but have such low self esteem these days and don't trust my own judgement any more that I need to hear feedback from others

Please understand that this is what these relationships do to you. They are incredibly adept at making you question yourself.

I remember when I first started going out with my ex, I thought he was amazing and I fell in love very fast. Then he wanted to move in with me and I was over the moon.

Then valentines day came and I started talking about "where should we go on Valentines day what do you think" - his response? "I don't do valentines day, I don't like celebrating it and I think people who celebrate it are sad, I feel sorry for all those couples in restaurants sat there for the sake of it".

Well, I was taken aback, but naturally I thought well that's ok, so I started suggesting other things like going out for a meal on another day, or cooking something special at home. It didn't even occur to me that his attitude was utterly ridiculous and that I disagreed with it because I was in love and he was probably right anyway I thought.

Plus, in no way did I want to be "like all women" which is what he would say about "womens expectations". No way, I was going to be the cool girl, the one who didn't have any expectations like those OTHER women, I wasn't going to be like them. I was different.

Not long after that I started to get sad about his lack of affection, the fact he didn't seem to really want to snuggle up with me, he always felt stifled by me, yet he would sit and hug his dog in front of me while I was at the other end of the sofa. I brought it up with him and was told that he wasn't going to "fawn over me constantly". I assumed he was right and I was being too needy and felt sad and unreasonable.

On and on this went for years and years and even a pat on the head would make me the happiest person in the world. Being told I looked nice would have me made up for the whole day, not that it ever happened often!

Yup, I had the discussions about going overseas as well, and I was so happy when he gave me a PRINT OUT of a holiday we "would go on" for my birthday. So essentially he gave me a piece of paper for my birthday. He said that we'd go, then covid happened and I never heard a single word about that holiday ever again even after covid was over. Admittedly we'd bought a house by then but honestly, I am pretty sure it would never have come up again regardless...

My point is that this is what happens and you end up feeling completely like you don't know if you're right or wrong. The simple answer is what do YOU really think? You clearly think that this is not what you want, you have clearly been finding reasons and excuses for why you should tolerate it or why it maybe ok and my advice to you is please stop doing that - he's doing what suits him regardless of whether he's just an asshole or whether he had a lobotomy at 2 years old that you didn't know about - it doesn't matter what the reason is, what matters is your unhappiness and the fact that life is finite. You don't get a do over when you waste time with people like this, you get to carry on feeling miserable if you stay then die miserable, or you can decide nah.... I'm not up for this anymore and whilst I might miss you and be heartbroken, there is now room for something different.

Just know this: People like this do not change, and if he's autistic and that's the excuse you're using, it certainly won't change ever. Pick your poison on this one basically.

Theoldbird · 29/01/2024 17:27

2024GarlicCloves · 29/01/2024 16:46

"It doesn't actually matter, what matters is if you're happy or not and if you're getting your needs met or not and the answer to both of those is no, and no."

This is the only answer you need, @Alexanadra! You aren't his carer, his mother, his blame-donkey or his employee. You have NO OBLIGATION to him and yet you're behaving (and writing here) as if you're under contract to be his demeaned, part-time girlfriend.

If you insist on analysing this, get some therapy around your terrible self-worth. But, first, dump him.

Agree with all of this. There's no point trying to understand him, what you need to do is get some counselling to try and understand yourself and your needs and how to meet those away from this relationship.

80s · 29/01/2024 17:36

Red flag was he was always talking about himself and would get incredibly moody if I challenged him in any way. I saw them but ignored them as he fascinated me in a way...very intelligent and good looking ...
So you're able to recognise the red flags easily. The only question is why you ignore them.
So you were flattered that an attractive, superficially intelligent man "chose" you? Is this because you have such low self-esteem?
Did you "choose" him? Considering what an unlikeable person he seems to be, he should be absolutely delighted that a halfway intelligent woman is interested in him, and should be doing his best to keep her interested, right? If that's what he wants?

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 18:43

Thanks for this. I do feel his behaviour has made me very confused...as if I dont know what to think anymore...as if am addicted to him
I recognise all you say here. Never have had a Valentines Day gift or card...I bought him a pizza last year...that was it....we ate it in a carry out place as he wouldnt go anywhere else.
He makes such a fuss over my cat on his weekly visit I was getting jealous of the attention he gives it.!
He doesnt hug either...I now get a peck on the lips when he leaves...thats it... he doesn't like being touched...I could write a book on it....
Thank you for taking the time to validate some of my thoughts and feelings. I really needed to hear all this. I know I may sound weak and pathetic but I was a strong and independent professional woman a few years back ...before covid...and before meeting these 2 assholes.
No more excuses but am finding it hard to end it for some reason. He's also an excellent manipulator.

OP posts:
Daffodilsandsunshine · 29/01/2024 18:45

Thats no relationship- bin him in one of your binbags!

Tootytoot78 · 29/01/2024 18:53

Please RAISE YOUR BAR, you are so worth it!

Kittylala · 29/01/2024 18:55

What a weird set up

543BeachTreasuresHistory · 29/01/2024 21:17

It seems to me that you are more like friends

Can you look for another friend with better benefits, like someone who will go on holidays, romance, go to other places etc ? Make it clear at the start about where you can travel to.

AllEars112232 · 29/01/2024 21:43

Please stop with the arm chair diagnosis!! You're using that to excuse his behaviour and put yourself in a catch 22. You stay because your have diagnosised him as being autistic and therefore you have to accept his behaviour (!) And round you go!
He's not a nice person. That's all you need to know.
Your on the other hand sound like a kind person. You're wasted in this "relationship ".

TheOriginalFrench · 29/01/2024 22:23

@Alexanadra you mention that your daughter got married recently. Is she happy in her relationship? Can you see a difference to your own?

Would you want her to be in a ‘relationship’ like the one you have described here?

Why not treat yourself with some kindness? Imagine if you never, ever had to think about this man again.

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 22:33

Good point.
Her relationship is very loving
I have many issues in my life from choldhood and just my life in general...I am very lonely and dont have any family around...most of my friends have moved away and its been very difficult and am trying to deal with them and you're right...I need to learn to be kind to myself.
He's off on holiday soon again to watch wrestling championships in EE and I dont think I can stand it anymore. I've started to plan tonight to go to Morrocco with an old friend.
I need to separate from this man...I dont know why it's so difficult. He is horrid. There's obviously something wrong with me :(

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 30/01/2024 00:06

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 15:55

We don't live together. God forbid! We do book everything separately even on the rare occasion we go to a concert together...we can never even sit together !I pay for myself for everything...dont expect anyone to pay for me ...its all the other stuff. I said this as dont want anyone to think I don't pay my way.

You've had previous relationships.

Surely you know this isn't one?

Can you afford counselling?

Are there any local organisations you can join to get you out and about and to make new friendships?

Theoldbird · 03/02/2024 07:55

Hope you booked that holiday @Alexanadra ! and got rid of the 'dp'

roses321 · 05/02/2024 20:03

Alexanadra · 29/01/2024 22:33

Good point.
Her relationship is very loving
I have many issues in my life from choldhood and just my life in general...I am very lonely and dont have any family around...most of my friends have moved away and its been very difficult and am trying to deal with them and you're right...I need to learn to be kind to myself.
He's off on holiday soon again to watch wrestling championships in EE and I dont think I can stand it anymore. I've started to plan tonight to go to Morrocco with an old friend.
I need to separate from this man...I dont know why it's so difficult. He is horrid. There's obviously something wrong with me :(

Absolutely NOTHING wrong with you at all. Do not blame yourself for someone elses inadequacy now or ever. I hope you're listening! NO SELF BLAME.

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