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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He should cum at least 2x a day on holiday?

89 replies

Pandapaws20 · 28/01/2024 13:45

So I used to be a traveller and travelled 2/3 times a year when I got with my partner he knew this and made empty promises and we never went anywhere for the whole time we have been together (we also had a baby) but no excuse as we never went away before the baby so I booked a break for us which cost around £800 he was happy etc and we just went away for it last week now we had to travel from gatwick which was 2 hours away and he made a few comments to say next time I should consult him as he would never go from an airport so far, we didn’t sleep the day we got there and we just explored and the next day he was like “I was proud of you, if you wanted to sleep yesterday you would have ruined my holiday” he also commented on the amount I spent. Now valentines is coming and I’ve already told him I want him to take initiative and plan things and be more decisive and stuff but he keeps now asking me what do you want to di for valentines etc like idk how I feel about this. Bearing in mind I tried to end our relationship but he said he was going to step up as I was doing everything from chores to planning to cooking to taking care of the baby the rent the bills and working. And he has started to do chores but these comments threw me off. Our sex life took a hit after the baby and the lack of support from him but whilst away I made the effort to be sexually active with him. One one of the days we had sex in the morning went out most the day came back to rest and I was exhausted and he tried to get intimate I told him no as I’m tired and he got into a bit of a huff and had a nap when he woke up he wasnt talking to me until we got to the activity we had planned so like 30 mins later. And then on the last day of the break he said he should cum at least 2 times a day whilst on holiday as it’s fair and it puts him in a better mood and his a better person after it and nicer. I felt sick at this comment as it made me feel like it shouldn’t be an expectation like that but I said nothing because I cba for the confrontation. And 2 days ago I had a covered long sleeved top on with no cleavage or anything on show and we had a delivery I went and got the delivery from the door and he got funny with me saying you could see everything you need to wear a bra, I told him but you can’t even see anything he was like well I want you to wear a bra next time. Am I being over the top about his comments or is there something more to them and am I right to not feel happy/comfortable

OP posts:
Precipice · 28/01/2024 13:49

LTB. Why are you with this man? What is he bringing to your life that makes you want to put up with his sexual entitlement, his whinging, him doing almost nothing around the house/for your shared life together and his efforts to control you?

MythicBish · 28/01/2024 13:51

Ewww that gave me the ick. Why on earth are you with such a repulsive controlling man OP?

BluJanuary · 28/01/2024 13:53

If that's what he needs, what is stopping him? That's not your responsibility. He can do it in private. Does he at least reciprocate? Or is it only him that should get this satisfaction twice a day? Not normal to blackmail you into this with the promise that he'll be a better person to be around!

AgathaX · 28/01/2024 13:55

What a horrible man.

MrsMitford3 · 28/01/2024 13:57

What is it with the cum threads today?

Sunflower8848 · 28/01/2024 13:57

Eww 🤢 he sounds horrid.

HoppingPavlova · 28/01/2024 13:59

And then on the last day of the break he said he should cum at least 2 times a day whilst on holiday as it’s fair and it puts him in a better mood and his a better person after it and nicer

I would have died laughing. If he called me out on it, I would have said if he wasn’t such a grumpy cunt in the first place there wouldn’t need to be such an improvement necessitating this. Honestly, I’d get rid.

Nmw09 · 28/01/2024 14:00

Does he work? Sounds like bit by bit you're giving, giving a bit more, and a bit more. Each and every time you do, he is gaining more control. Comments about if you slept, what you wear and how you spend your money (Gatwick flights) are all him assuming control. It's a slippery slope. Leave him.

femfemlicious · 28/01/2024 14:00

My goodness, are you paying the bills?

Lovemusic82 · 28/01/2024 14:01

Leave him, then he can cum as many times as he likes using his own hand. He sounds awful.

Pandapaws20 · 28/01/2024 14:02

He only started working after over a year. I am paying the bills and rent but he said he will contribute £500 towards it as he is working part time only. With the flights that he complained about my dad drove us there so I wasn’t sure why he was even moaning

OP posts:
YourGoatAteMyFishfinger · 28/01/2024 14:02

Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

QuarterPastThree · 28/01/2024 14:04

Get rid of him OP - he brings nothing to the party.

FictionalCharacter · 28/01/2024 14:07

Pandapaws20 · 28/01/2024 14:02

He only started working after over a year. I am paying the bills and rent but he said he will contribute £500 towards it as he is working part time only. With the flights that he complained about my dad drove us there so I wasn’t sure why he was even moaning

Oh for pity's sake, listen to yourself. He's horrible and this is a horrible relationship. Get rid of him. He can have a relationship with his right hand and you can find a nice normal man who doesn't moan for no reason and treat you like dirt.

Nanny0gg · 28/01/2024 14:07

Pandapaws20 · 28/01/2024 14:02

He only started working after over a year. I am paying the bills and rent but he said he will contribute £500 towards it as he is working part time only. With the flights that he complained about my dad drove us there so I wasn’t sure why he was even moaning

OFGS

He's a waste of space

Raise your bar

calatheamama · 28/01/2024 14:09

My ex partner started on the 'I need to cum twice daily for XYZ reason'. Fast forward into the later stages of the relationship and I was being pressured and emotionally blackmailed into sex when I wasn't up for it, he was sulking and complaining that I was frigid and unsexy now, criticising my appearance and what I wore as either not sexy enough/too exposing. I was constantly on edge, worried about pleasing him to avoid arguments, as well as losing my own sex drive altogether when it was so clear my pleasure wasn't important. Then lots of other scary and toxic traits emerged in him. Not suggesting this man will turn out to be as nasty and controlling as my ex, but definitely keep an eye out for little signs... Sexual coercion can be really damaging emotionally and psychologically.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2024 14:09

Get rid. He sounds like a waste of space.

ThemysteriousH · 28/01/2024 14:11

I never say this but LTB. He sounds disgusting 🤢

PeggySooo · 28/01/2024 14:11

If it helps, you've just written a massive paragraph of red flags to the point I'm not sure where to start.
Yes split up with him. You know this, it's why you wrote it

hellsBells246 · 28/01/2024 14:11

Precipice · 28/01/2024 13:49

LTB. Why are you with this man? What is he bringing to your life that makes you want to put up with his sexual entitlement, his whinging, him doing almost nothing around the house/for your shared life together and his efforts to control you?

First reply nailed it.

pbdr · 28/01/2024 14:12

Urgh my skin is crawling just reading about him. I'm not sure how you can bring yourself to have sex with someone like that. I'd be running for the hills if it was me. You don't want your child growing up thinking that this is what relationships should be and copying this dynamic in their own adult relationships.

Nmw09 · 28/01/2024 14:13

Pandapaws20 · 28/01/2024 14:02

He only started working after over a year. I am paying the bills and rent but he said he will contribute £500 towards it as he is working part time only. With the flights that he complained about my dad drove us there so I wasn’t sure why he was even moaning

Sounds like he is decmasculated because you're carrying him, right down to booking and paying for the holiday and your Dad dropping you at the airport. I'm guessing your bf chose not to work previously? And works part time out of choice? Unless he has a disability, or a concrete reason, he should be working full time. Maybe he would have more pride then.

QuarterPastThree · 28/01/2024 14:14

Nmw09 · 28/01/2024 14:13

Sounds like he is decmasculated because you're carrying him, right down to booking and paying for the holiday and your Dad dropping you at the airport. I'm guessing your bf chose not to work previously? And works part time out of choice? Unless he has a disability, or a concrete reason, he should be working full time. Maybe he would have more pride then.

He's not demasculated, he's a bone idle, entitled sex pest.

ComfortableAtLastTookLongEnough · 28/01/2024 14:14

Throw this one back.

SamW98 · 28/01/2024 14:18

Wow he’s a catch isn’t he?

Is it just me or does it almost seem to be a competition on here recently as to who has the most useless partner?

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