My husband only wants HJor BJ

[Hypergirl08]

Hi my husband only wants Handjobs or Blowjobs all the time he never wants to have sex I've tried to talk to him but he just brushes it off and then we go right back again it's really bothering me now as it's been going on for years now and I do it all while he just lays there I really need some advice as I'm have ran out of things to try or do it is really knocking my confidence and self-esteem

Thanks in advance for all advice

Just stop doing it. Say it's sex or nothing.

What are you getting out of this?

Don’t do it … sounds crap for you

Yep

Just stop doing it. And ask yourself why you've let this go on for YEARS.

and if you're gonna say "but he'll sulk", fucking sulk right back!! If he sulks cos you won't meet his "needs" anymore but he ignores the fact you're a human with needs of your own, you know that's abusive right? He's basically using you for sexual gratification/sex doll/prostitute.

You've been doing this years? How have you kept that up? Does he reciprocate for you or is this one way? What if you just stopped doing it?

So what does he do for you sexually?

Why are you putting up with this? Just refuse.

I lost out on years of really good, hard sex because I was too shy - no more open and demanding when/if required, we are both better of for it.

Samw98. He does nothing it's at all it's one sided I get nothing from him

Is he a closeted gay man?

Selfish git. Has this gone on since you met him? He’s your husband, so surely you must have had sex at some point? When did this start?

Right, knock it on its head (literally if you want).

You're getting absolutely nothing out of it and I really REALLY don't understand why you've been doing this for so long.

Why have you tolerated this selfish man for so long?

The best thing for your self esteem is to kick his selfish arse into touch

Have you ever had sex together?

Is he gay and imagining a bloke doing it?

It sounds like he wants the end goal of someone making him finish but he doesn’t want the close personal experience of sex with you. He’s detaching himself from the act. This could be down to many things and you need to find out. This is not a healthy experience for either of you and isn’t fair on you at all. Push the subject and say it needs to be sorted and whatever it is you want to support him and also Suggest couples councelling. If you’re still met with frosty ness there’s not much more you can do.

Is it a pregnancy thing?

What happens if you say no? It's sex or you give me oral or nothing?

What's the rest of your relationship like?

Parrotcatdog. Have had sex at the start but for years it's been on me to do it all

Sounds like he’s gay.

He's a lazy bastard. You're not there to provide a service, be assertive.

Don’t do it. Tell him he has his own hand.

It’s really difficult to believe that anyone would put up with this. Once would be once too often. Sex is reciprocal and loving for both partners.

I take it he never touches you during this??

Nah, I wouldn’t be putting up with this. Get your affairs in order. And tell him to use his hand in the meantime.

As a male I wouldn’t say no to that occasionally but sex , for me anyway, is a two way thing and part of the enjoyment is the partner having a good time too, he certainly seems to have some kind of issue.